DD's dad not taking an interest. AIBU?

[sunnyblueskies]

Long story short. Our preschooler comes home yesterday with a newsletter. Dads and Grandads week some time at the end of the month. Asking if they could spare just an hour to come in and play.

Showed hubby and he flat out said no he doesn’t have the time.

He commutes into work every day and it’s a 5 hour round trip and works one day from home. I suggested maybe he could go for an hour in the morning before he cracks on with work. Still said no. His day working at home is his downtime and he just hasn’t got time for it. I appreciate he works hard but to not be able to give our little one an hour of his time at preschool. It broke my heart into a million pieces.

AIBU?

I have two minds about this.
Schools and preschools have these times for parents to play , be in the class , watch a class assembly.
This is great if you don't work. It's hard and sometimes impossible if you do. Some people find it very hard to get the time off. Holidays are needed for school holiday cover and all it does is leave the parent feeling dreadful and worse the child feeling let down.
The negatives to me far outweigh the good.
Your ex does also seem dismissive of it too or is it beyond inconvenient. When I work from home I log in and I can't just nip out for an hour.

FruitCorner I'd assumed the DH meant if he takes a couple of hours off work, he'll have to make it up out of what would otherwise be his downtime (and time he doesn't get on other days due to his commute)

I too commute 2.5 hours each way 4 days a week. I work from home on Fridays. That’s when I drive DD to school and spend some lovely time chatting with her. If there is something happening at school on my WFH day (or another day, and then I’d try to swap) I’d definitely attend. And make up my hours later. I don’t see her as much as I’d like during the week so if there is something happening at school that I can attend then I will be there if I possibly can be. Sounds like your DH doesn’t see such events in his DS’s life as being very important. Or not important enough for him to make the effort. I think he is dead wrong. And a lazy arse.

But then If the time to make up the work later takes away time with the family it makes going couter productive really doesn’t it?

Not really - I make up the hours when DD is doing activities. Reduces my down time but doesn’t affect her time with me. It’s doable if you’re prepared to have less ‘down-time’ of your own.

Wine and rose agreeing with you 100%

I think you are being a little unreasonable. Plenty of time at the weekends for quality time together presumably? My DH wouldn’t do this as he would feel awkward, and a bit out of his comfort zone.

Ok so little update and things have really kicked off (in my head!)

He’s only gone and decided to leave work early today so he can get home in time to watch the World Cup!!!! Priorities???