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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think our family isn't complete...?

8 replies

NotAnotherHeffalump · 14/06/2018 10:11

We have 3 DCs. I feel on and off broody (most regularly on Grin) . Sometimes I see babies and pregnant women and get a bit jealous. Other times I think of all the sleepless nights/cracked nipples/teething and breathe a sigh of relief that I have all that behind me, but I have always wanted a big family.

Is this regular and fairly intense broodiness a sign that we should have another one? Or is it just par for the course and most women feel a bit broody now and then. My husband is convinced I'd feel broody even if we had 17 kids Hmm

OP posts:
Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 14/06/2018 10:13

As a broody dm of 11 I am not the one to ask me thinks!!

Melliegrantfirstlady · 14/06/2018 10:15

I am in your shoes but I won’t be having more. Too costly! Just wait until they are teenagers and the school uniform costs £100s then there is uni costs. And on it goes!!

BottleOfJameson · 14/06/2018 10:16

I do think broodiness (especially towards babies and pregnancy) is just hormones and shouldn't be the basis of your decision to have another. If you are seriously considering another it should be from the point of view of how it will affect your family as a whole. Will there be enough time, money and space for another? Would it be a bonus for your DC to have another sibling or would it deprive them of attention? What if the fourth child had significant difficulties and needed extra care and resources? Would you have the means to provide it?

BottleOfJameson · 14/06/2018 10:17

(sorry I realise that's a really boring approach but I think it's natural to miss having a new baby but you're always going to feel that way after having your last)

LupinsNotBluebells · 14/06/2018 10:23

I think you need to unpick this a bit more. Can you afford another one, do you still have your baby stuff, do you have enough room at home? How do you think your 3 eldest would react to news of a new baby, especially the eldest?

Original poster
NotAnotherHeffalump · 14/06/2018 10:55

We can afford another one and have enough room. My DCs are 9, 3 and 2. I still have a lot of baby stuff and feel like we are just starting to get out of the baby years. I'd rather have a 4th now (if I was having more) than have another big gap.

I love being a mum and parenting. We had thought of maybe finishing with birth children for now but fostering or adopting in the future too.

april
Mum to 11....wow! Smile

OP posts:
FASH84 · 14/06/2018 10:58

@NotAnotherHeffalump fostering is a brilliant idea there are so many looked after children who need proper home placements, I've seen the results of children's homes and it's not good. You'd be doing something amazing

Original poster
NotAnotherHeffalump · 14/06/2018 11:04

Thanks @Fash84. We have been to a few information evenings and a social worker is coming out to chat to us in the next few weeks. I'm reading lots of books on early childhood trauma and attachment. I want to go into it with my eyes as open as they can be (but fully appreciate that you only really know what it's like when you've been a foster parent).

I feel like we have a lot to give. We aren't super wealthy but we do ok and our time and money are mainly focused on enjoying our kids.

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