Breaks away with young family

[mrsstayathome]

Anyone else not enjoy these? I would so much rather stay home overnight and do days out within an hour or so than go away since I had a child.

We have a just turned two year old and I'm 28 weeks pregnant. Ever since DS was born honestly we've never had an enjoyable holiday (and I don't have expectations of it being the same as pre-children). Every time something goes wrong, the car breaks down, DS is a nightmare for some reason or another, one of us gets ill, the place we end up staying is a shithole or completely unsuitable for kids. You get my drift.

We're going away tomorrow morning. I've had so much to get done this week around a hospital and midwife appointment (im consultant led) and my GTT that I've only got around to packing today with DS into everything and under my feet bless him. I need to go to the supermarket to get bits (were SC) but I can't go because the garden furniture that DH ordered last week is arriving at some point today. Would have done an online shop if I'd have known before this morning. I would go tonight but DH bought me tickets for Xmas to a concert in London without realising it was the night before we're going away. Normally his parents would babysit because we won't be home till probably midnight and they're retired so would just stay over but they're on holiday, so I've had to ask my mum who needs to be up for work the next day. She's kindly agreed to come, but I've told DH we need to leave a bit early because it's not fair to be home late. Cue grumbling.

DH thinks I'm just being miserable and that we need to persevere with breaks because 'that's what families do'. Do other families end up wanting kill each other every time they go away?! Joking of course. It's ok for him though, he just books things and leaves me to bloody organise everything! Mental load much?

I have tried to mitigate any potential disasters. We've borrowed my Dad's brand new 4x4 so lots of space (no packing rage!) and very little chance of breakdown. I've contacted he holiday place and checked the accommodation is suitable (it wasn't, we need a separate room for DS or he won't sleep so I've had to upgrade it). We're all in fine health, touch wood!

AIBU to say next year no sodding 'lovely breaks' and just stay home?

And I could tell DH to just do it all himself. But 1) he works full time and 2) if I left it to him it'd be an unmitigated disaster.

YANBU. Some kids get really unsettled by being away and it turns into a nightmare. If that's the case better to save the money for when they're older and just spend quality time together at home.

OP I feel your pain my DCs are older now (11&7) but when they were small it was same shit different location. Both DCs were good sleepers but I was often exhausted running round after them round a pool keeping them safe and the stress of packing.

We haven't been aboard since youngest DC was 18mths combination of can't afford it and also I didn't want the hassle.
It's only now I'm considering saving up and going aboard.
Some of our best holidays when the kids were small were to Butlins. One of the best was when DCs were 4yrs and 5mths we booked a self catering apartment but also paid for the half board meal plan.

You could plan better. When we did pool holidays with the kids we took turns in looking after them giving us the chance to relax and the kids got quality parent time.

DS is normally a fab sleeper (7-7 with barely a wake up unless ill and I just put him to bed with a quick kiss after a story, no hanging around). He should in theory sleep fine, he can still fit in the (large with comfy mattress) travel cot that he uses for naps when at grandparents etc even though he's in a cotbed at home. Last time I made the schoolgirl error of thinking he'd be scared if he woke in a strange place without me and put his cot in our room, there was no space in the other room anyway. Big mistake, he thought it was hilarious that he could see Mummy and daddy in bed and refused to sleep for four nights.

I have upgraded to an apartment with two bedrooms this time, so in his own room he will go!

Some of it (like above) is new parent learning curve I guess. But I just don't get enough enjoyment out of the few nice hours we have over the course of a weekend (mostly we're at parks and things - which we can do at/near to home!) to justify the faff!

We just do cheap and cheerful caravan park holidays. Separate room for dd and living room for us. Eat out sometimes or easy meals.

Off peak £200-300 for a week. Planning a luxury break abroad in 2 years when youngest is 3 and we can appreciate the facilities.

If you end up staying in a shit hole that's unsuitable for kids, perhaps research your destinations better.
We've really enjoyed our family holidays with dc even from a very young age. Going further afield as DD got older.
I don't identify with the comments about same shit different view. We did all kinds of holidays; cruises, city breaks, AI, hotels with waterpark, theme parks etc. Of course we had occasional hassles but all very enjoyable.

Didn't do weekends - just not worth the hassle.
We had some lovely longer holidays when the DCs were young though - both in this country and abroad. They get enjoyment out of such simple things at that age.
I've 2 grumpy teens now - it's much harder.

I've had two great holidays since dd was born and I am really looking forward to this year's one. We've gone abroad but chose a short flight, booked 1 bed apartments, gone all inclusive so we don't have to cook or wonder around supermarkets/resorts finding restaurants, chose places with cheesy kids entertainment to keep dd entertained and took turns looking after her at the beach/pool so we can each have some respite.

On the other hand, self-catering anywhere with a toddler sounds like my idea of a nightmare -to me it seems to be basically the same as being at home but without all my kitchen gadgets and all of dd's toys, but I've not done it so could be wrong(!)

I love holidays and I’ve got 3 under 3!

We’ve had weekends in York, Edinburgh, Dubai, London, Newcastle, Oxford. Week or longer breaks in Croatia, Spain, America, Germany, Italy.

The key is research about the hotel/caravan whatever (make sure the accommodation is suitable) and the local area ( is it child friendly) and plan your days before you go (1 activity per day and a back up plan for bad weather) Make sure you’ve got toys, some colouring the dc haven’t seen before for 10 minutes peace.

Going somewhere with a pool is always good with dc especially when they are little, As long as your child likes water it’s hours of entertainment.

If your self catering only cook easy meals (pizza, ready meals with some bagged salad or steamed veg etc) or go out to eat most restaurants do at least 1 thing even the most fussy child will eat. If they end up with chips for a few days it doesn’t matter.

We don't do pool holidays or hotel breaks with our children - the thought of that brings me out in a cold sweat! Instead we go for a week in a static caravan. It's like a home from home with (hopefully) better weather, a nearby safe play area, a large sandy beach within walking distance and plenty of child friendly local attractions. In the evening, after a long walk and a bit too eat, the children can go to bed in their separate rooms and we can sit in the living room and relax until morning. It's not as exotic as a foreign beach holiday and not as luxurious as a hotel with a balcony and a pool but it is easier and, as my expectations aren't too high, not as disappointing when it turns out to be just the same shit in a different place.

We go away to broaden ds's experiences but even though the entire holiday is built around his needs, they are always more difficult than being at home.

Ha ha yes @Spidermansthong SC with a toddler is basically like being at home but without all your own stuff to make life easier!

We will eat out in the evenings, or cook something simple for DS and get takeaway for us later. If we eat out it'll be fairly early but that's fine. DS is normally a good eater and has a good diet so I don't care if he eats nuggets and chips for three days it won't harm.

God I'm not brave enough to have done anywhere abroad.

I agree a static caravan arrangement would be ideal. Bloody DH booked this and has booked us in an apartment block which will no doubt be noisy and a pain but I have managed to upgrade us so hopefully will be ok. The caravans were booked up when he booked it apparently (I don't think they were, I think the apartment were cheaper. DH is notoriously 'careful' with money). See I'd have said no thanks and not booked it if I couldn't get the accommodation that'd best suit us.Whereas he'll just go ahead and say 'ah, we'll muddle through'. No, I'm the one who'll end up running around sorting everything out.

Maybe not a a holiday problem, but a DH problem! I shouldn't moan, he only wants us to have a nice time away but honestly, it just seems more hassle than it's worth!

I’ve soldiered on and done it since dc was about 3 months old but I still sometimes regret it when there with the sleeping issues, new food they won’t try, la k of routine, new potential hazards etc- then we get home and jet lag/readjusting to being home etc are almost as bad! However I do think it’s inportant to break from routine with kids. My nephew is very sheltered and he hasn’t half the confidence that my dc has (to be fair this is partly personality!)

It can be hard with little ones. We go on short breaks to very family friendly hotels (Luxury Family Hotels chain) and it takes a lot of stress out of the situation e.g. free Creche, listening service etc. Expensive but worth it IMO.

OP I have a DS toddler who needs his own room too!! When we had him in ours he behaved excatly like yours..
Anyway we had great time this year in center parcs. I really recommend it. Villas are well equiped with anything you would need for a child. There are things to entertain a 2year old all over..from a water park, huge playgrounds, softplays at restaurants, a lake with a beach, kids disco most nights etc. etc. You don't need to book extra activities to have a great time..We only went for a boat ride I think..Food wise had barbecue every evening..
Its also a driving distance...
We will stick to center parcs for now..it was my first enjoyable family holiday since I had DS..

We've done villas in France, all inclusive in Mallorca, mobile home in France and various cottage/ lodge holudays in the UK. My tips:

Book the best accommodation you can afford
Bring loads of small toys, colouring and dvds
Travel cot by the pool is great for keeping baby amused
Siesta and later bedtime is great in hot countries
If travelling by ferry, always book a cabin
Eat out at lunchtimes then have a snack tea in the cottage later. Pasta, pizza, etc
If you have family locally to where you are staying, invite them round to entertain DCS
Agree a rota with your partner so you both get a few lie ins or time for a walk on your own/ do ace to read a book
Lots of fresh air and exercise wears kids out.
Let them have treats for an easy life for a few days. Ice cream, chips, whatever.

Now one of my DCS can swim, they are both out if nappies and sleep through reliably, and DS health condition has improved, holudays are easier but I never regret the holidays we've had. Short breaks don't seem worth the hassle though, I'd rather save up for a week away.