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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

..for expecting a simple Thank You.....

16 replies

americantrish · 22/05/2007 13:55

..for sending my friends daughter a birthday card?

..from someone on freecycle that i gave a load of ds's outgrown clothes too?

i'm talking an email or text. nothing big. just a thank you. it's been bugging me! saying thank you is universal curtesy, or at least, i thought it was :I

OP posts:

singingmum · 22/05/2007 13:56

not BU

maisym · 22/05/2007 13:57

they should say thank you or at least acknowledge your efforts.

mumblechum · 23/05/2007 08:46

tbh, I don't expect people to phone if I send them a card. Flowers or a present, yes.

The freecycle could have said thank you if they didn't get the chance to say it to you in person when they collected the stuff.

DANCESwithnewlytannedlegs · 23/05/2007 08:50

Um...you want thanks for sending a card?!
Freecycler should have said thank you though.

GColdtimer · 23/05/2007 08:53

...birthday card - I wouldn't really expect people to thank me for a card. Present yes. Card, no. I must admit I don't go out of my way to thank people for cards. If I see them or speak to them I do acknowledge it though.

..freecycle, if they didn't say it in person, you are not BU at all. And even if they did, I would still have sent you an email.

kslatts · 23/05/2007 09:00

Birthday card - you are being unreasonable, if I sent a present I would expect a thank-you, but not for a card

Freecycle - agree you should expect a thank-you if they didn't thank you when they collected

kitbit · 23/05/2007 09:18

hmmm, I love the idea of freecycle but in practise it seems to be full of nasty ungrateful grabby people who behave as if you own them what you are about to give.

However, WE know you are kind thoughtful and lovely, and so do your friends and family that matter

Original poster

americantrish · 23/05/2007 09:39

well, if this wasn't a close friend, i wouldn't mind not being thanked; its a gesture to send a card and a gesture to thank someone. (its not hard to send a quick text!) oh well. live and learn.

agree about freecycle. although i did email and ask the lady if the clothes will come in handy and she emailed me back, said yes and thanked me so that's something..

OP posts:

kitbit · 23/05/2007 09:42

"owe" not "own"
durrr

kinki · 23/05/2007 09:43

Birthday card, wouldn't expect a thank you. Freecyle I would appreciate a thank you email.

Can I ask a question on your thread? I've just recieved a thank-you letter from my niece's parents for her card and present (given a week ago). There was a PS saying thank you for her brother's birthday card. Thing is this was sent 6 weeks ago with a tenner inside. There was no reference to the money in the letter. Do I assume he recieved it and just didn't mention it, or do I contact them to make sure he actually recieved it? Btw both me and sil usually send thank yous for presents recieved.

elasticbandstand · 23/05/2007 09:44

some people don't know how to say thankyou.
i lent my neighbour my car to pick up his wife from work... sudden, stupid act of charity.. god knows why... not ONE WORD of thanks!!!

Original poster

americantrish · 23/05/2007 10:05

i was putting the lack of thank yous down to a cultural differance, but i dont think that's the case. some people were probably just not taught to. (i was brought up to say thank you for things, cards; presents; etc.) - maybe something else is going on in my friends life... i guess i should give the benefit of the doubt until i know otherwise. (if i do..)

OP posts:

RosaLuxembourg · 23/05/2007 10:20

Kinki - I would check about the £10. Maybe it fell out when envelopes were being opened and they didn't know what card it came from. Or maybe it got 'lost in the post'.

butterflymum · 23/05/2007 10:24

I've had a few email 'Thank You' messages sent from Freecyclers, but the other day, was surprised but delighted by one Freecycler arriving to collect items and presenting me with a lovely, flowering plant. It really seemed to make the act of Freecycling feel all the more appreciated (and at probably very minimum outlay to the person receiving the goods). I know Freecycling should mean just that, free, but this person obviously wanted to say thanks in a more meaningful, yet inexpensive way. Certainly brightened up my day and gave me a double dose of feel good factor.

Original poster

americantrish · 23/05/2007 10:32

that's so cool

OP posts:

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 23/05/2007 10:52

I sent my BIL not one but two presents for his newborn and not one word of thanks.
My other BIL actually rang to tell DH to make sure and send his DD a communion card (we had already). We had also put 20 euros in it but again, no feedback. Maybe I should have sent 100....

It doesn't take much to pick up the phone and say thanks. I know I always had DD1 write notes for gifts she received, but a phone call will suffice. It is just plain bad manners not to even acknowledge a gift. I wouldn't expect thanks for a simple card, though. That should just convey a nice thought which doesn't need thanking for.

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