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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to want my MIL to text/check in?

30 replies

WhiteLily83 · 13/06/2018 22:21

My SIL has a chronic illness and 2 children. Therefore rightfully my MIL and FIL spend most of their week doing the school runs for my SIL/BIL, their shopping, cleaning, taking their kids to activities etc.

I do not point blank begrudge this her chronic illness is severe. She needs her parents.

However I live 3 mins from SIL well a 1 minute drive and 3 min walk. I’ve been on my own the last few days as DH is away on a business trip. I work part-time these have been my working days. I don’t need help with the kids. I don’t have any family of my own nearby. We saw everyone at the weekend so they know I’m working and got the kids on my own. My kids are 5 and 2 so at school/Childminder while I work and I do all drop offs and pick ups.

Anyway I always end up driving past SILs house on my various trips out and I’ve seen FIL and MILs cars.

I’ve not had a text/call no contact at all. I know IABU to feel sad. My kids notice their grandparent’s cars outside their cousin’s house all the time and know GPs help because their Auntie is poorly.

I just feel sad for my kids - no one checks in with us. Not even sure what I want maybe just a ‘are you ok text?’ Or we are nipping to the supermarket do you need anything? For example I had meetings 100 mile round trip today - awful headache. Stressful meeting.

I forgot stuff for little ones lunch tomorrow so had them both in the supermarket at 1845 after picking up. Nightmare!

Anyway knowing my SILs circumstances and the fact I know my in laws are not unkind people - IABU to feel sad I know. I suppose I just thought they might check in with me and the kids.

OP posts:
WhiteLily83 · 14/06/2018 08:38

I think her getting her hair and nails done is part of her having a sense of normality. She’s on daily meds. Is very bright - runs her house to an extent. I think ILs help as much as they do because it’s their daughter. She still goes out with her friends in the evenings as and when she is going through a good phase . When she has an exacerbation then 100% she needs help as there is little she can do and needs to sometimes go into hospital too.

My ILs are genuinely lovely people. I wouldn’t want to put any more demand on their time. Just a quick check in or a hello every so often. I do check in with them and they will respond that it’s nice to hear from me.

I am very grateful for my amazing DH and my health of course I am. This isn’t a woe is me post - I suppose after a tough day yesterday. I was up in the night with the little one. I was pretty fed up of work. I felt very alone.

OP posts:
DrunkUnicorn · 14/06/2018 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrunkUnicorn · 14/06/2018 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMozart · 14/06/2018 10:02

I get what you mean OP.

I think Drunk words it well?

WhiteLily83 · 14/06/2018 17:04

@drunk!! Yes yes and yes!!! I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I do want that as I value them incredibly. They’re so involved in my SiL’s life notwithstanding the caring aspect the kids get so much from GP involvement. My family is far (which works as I don’t have to cope with their ups and downs) but I feel empty.

I think my MIL is very very respectful of this being our home whereas yes she can go in and out of her daughters etc.

OP posts:
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