Over 16's only?

[myangelsx]

I'm getting married next July and both me and my partner have big families. It's not an extravagant wedding so we're having to be a bit tight with the guest list.

Is it unreasonable to say children 16+ only? Including young children adds about 30 guests to our list.

However... I have 14 nieces and nephews, 2 step daughters and my own daughter who will be 1 at the time of wedding that will have to be there because they are close family 🙈

Help???

wizzywig, is that the "No under 18's" thread? I think its a coincidence.

You can do that if you like. However, the flip side is you can't be offended if people with multiple children decline the invitation because they either have no childcare arrangements or otherwise don't wish to be apart from their children for that day.

Yeah timeis, thanks i did think it could be but wasnt sure.

I'd go with no kids at all. Much clearer. But don't get upset when some don't come as they can't get childcare.

No of course you can't invite just one out of 4 siblings. That's an awful thing to even consider.

I also think all children or none - certainly don't put over 16s only as people will arrive and see a gaggle of children and be put out. Better to say "we can only extend invitations to related children so please understand that" or something.

I think it's fine not to invite children as long as you won't be offended if some people can't come as a result. My DS is usually invited but if it's a friend from uni or someone who doesn't know him I'll tend to leave him with family for the day anyway to save them money and make it more relaxing for us. If it was a night away though it might mean I can't come as it's more difficult to find someone to have him for a whole night.

Although I think you have to be careful in which kids you do and don't invite. Close family's kids only is fine but I don't think you can invite some siblings and not others or some friend's children and not others without causing offence.

If you are having 17 children there, its a bit odd to say to people you don't want children there. Plus I dont think you'd be very popular inviting only 1 child from a family of 4 children, thats even odder. But then I'm one of those weird people who consider children to be human beings and as much a part of the family as anyone else so I wouldn't exclude them anyway.
Its your wedding though so obviously do what you want.

There’s nothing more annoying than a wedding full of screaming children that you didn’t want there in the first place - it will make you resentful purely just to placate a few guests who feel their entire entourage deserve to be invited.

For mine and dps wedding we’re inviting children that we are actively involved with (my niece and nephew) but not dps sisters grandchildren. She’s annoyed by this, but a) she and dp don’t get on all that well anyway, and b) If that means her children can’t go as they don’t have childcare then so be it! We’ve seen them once in the last 4 Year’s. We will invite someone else.

You won’t be able to please everyone, so just focus on pleasing yourself.

I think the “no under 16s” rule is a dead loss if you’ve got 17 of them coming so you should invite by family not by age. Inviting a 16 year but not their 13 year old siblings is a bit odd unless you’re having a very specifially adult wedding; which you’re not.

If I was your second-cousin I'd be more irritated by a random age bar that only applies to some of the guests than I would by an “immediate family children only” policy.