I’m going to be maid of honour for my oldest friend next year. She’d missed out on her dream wedding venue but did find another she and her fiancé both liked. However, they then got a call about a cancellation at their top choice, which they’ve very happily taken up. The only problem is that it’s slightly smaller than the second choice, so they’re having to be strict on numbers.
Friend goes and exactly tells her mum about the venue, including how the layout means all her extended family can sit together on one table of twelve. Her mum then questioned the number and, when friend went through the list she said ‘But what about Aimee and Jordan?’
My friend told me she honestly had to think for a moment who they were. Then she twigged - her cousin’s partner’s kids. He’s not married, but does live with her, as do the kids. My friend has met them about three times.
At first I thought they were small children who might be upset at missing out, but the daughter is about 20 and the son a teenager - essentially two adults. To invite them would mean cutting two others out. My friend said she doesn’t see the point in inviting them when they probably wouldn’t want to come anyway. However, her mother has laid on the whole ‘Well, I don’t know what I’ll say to your auntie’ guilt trip and has told her if the venue is that small, she should go with the second choice.
I’m inclined to agree with my friend. I can’t see the kids being offended; in fact if I’d been expected to travel 100 miles for a virtual stranger’s wedding at that age I’d have been groaning inside. I’ve only met her cousin a couple of times, but from what friend says he enjoys a good night out. I reckon a night away with his partner without the kids in tow would probably appeal rather than offend.
What would you do? Obviously it’s not my choice, but it doesn’t seem fair my friend having to compromise because her mum is worried it will cause offence (and not even to the uninvited people).