by not making a fuss over miserable fil......

[lucykatie]

Hi,

Feeling a little hacked off as dh parents are visiting tonight and i have invited them for tea, which i dont mind as we dont see them often and kids will enjoy!!

However mil phoned me last night to ask if i would make it a birthday tea for fil as its his birthday soon....i am birthday mad and love to make a fuss over somebodys special day......however dh parets have never bothered, we have to remind them when its childrens birthdays and they still forget.

Also, fil does not bother with anybody on any level....if it doesnt suit him its a no go area.....really miserable and always moaning, and will never ever do anything for anyone at all.....he will openly admitt this aswell.....his attitude is' why should i'!!!!

mil has to do everything and buy anything....he is worse than victor meldrew!!

So ladies......what do i do to give him a sodding 'birthday tea'.....my dh suggested to just make tea as planned..... thats it.

p.s just to give you insight..... if he has his dinner on a tray in front of tv.....when he has finished he expects you to leace your meal and take his tray out and then serve him dessert.....whilst your dinner is going cold.........HE WILL HAVE A LONG WAIT TONIGHT......haha WE EAT AT THE TABLE IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!

Get him a cake for dessert, with candles, and leave it at that. The kids'll get a kick out of him blowing out the candles.

Why not just buy a birthday cake or dessert or something as a token, and get the kids to make him cards? Not too much effort, and it'll keep your MIL quiet.

YEAH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT....BUT YOU KNOW WHAT...I FEEL I DONT EVEN WANT TO DO THAT......I WILL FOR KIDS SAKE.....WILL JUST HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM AS I KNOW IT WILL BE THE WRONG CAKE AND OTHER MOANS AND GROANS.

OOPS SORRY CAPS ON!!

NOT SHOUTING......HONEST.

Does anywhere sell / could you make a Victor Meldrew cake?

Oh that would be fab....ha ha ha

worried that if my eldest dd makes him a card she would put on it that he is a miserable grandad.....her words not mine!!!!

Just ice a plate with the words 'happy sodding birthday'

Could you buy a simple plain sponge and get your children to ice it so it looks home made ? Surely he won't carp at their efforts, but otoh you won't have put yourself out too much for the miserable git by actually making it yourself.

And definitely set the table nicely; you will get the glory from mil for making the effort, while if he sulks inwardly because tea isn't on his lap, you will have won that one too ! (Passive aggressive technique wins every time for irritating carping people..)

Sounds charming. Lucky you.

I love the idea of him having to eat at the table and not being able to object....

If he moans about the tea or cake then you could always start a food fight by shoving it in his face
(Am feeling particularly mischievous today as dc's and dp out and am alone)

i would do full on star shaped sandwiches, wotsits and jelly and ice cream birthday tea, with cake iced by children. then let them blow the candles out several times so cake is covered in slobber. loads of balloons and party poppers. kids wont notice he is being miserable, they will have a fab time. in fact do a few pass the parcels and have some music on stand by for musical bumps.

I think you should pretend you are doing it for one of your children as well, and just turn it into a children's dinner party, that would rub him up the wrong way. If he is going to complain anyway you and your family might as well get some fun out of it.

Love the idea of full on tea party.....however he will only eat a roast dinner.....everyday!!!!! oh no, i am not being fair, he will have chips, but only home made ones!!!!

Just going to buy a cake and get the kids to make cards if they want too.

will let you know how we get on!!

Well he would just have to go home hungry then

Do the party tea, tell mil that you cant afford roast without planning and saving(or alternatively say the organic shop didnt have any left, having left it so late to advise you. Make 'em feel even worse tee hee. Dont forget to include raw veggies and dips just to further anoy him. Ooooh I could quite get into really making him miserable, the thought has cheered me up no end. lol.
Enjoy with the kids whatever you do. let us know how it goes.

themoon66 - I love that suggestion

Has the old gimmer arrived yet ?

hi, just a quick one as they are downstairs.....have done the cake thing, and to be fair i think we embarrassed him out of his comfort zone.....far better than not doing anything at all in my opinion.

he even said thankyou!!!!!!!!

I don't believe it!
(Best Victor Meldrew voice)
Well done you for taking the moral high ground