MLM dilemma- aka I don’t want to buy your overpriced crap

[MobMoll]

Aargh what to do! I really dislike MLM companies. I think they are really unethical and take advantage of people ( especially women). I’m a member of a group and have been invited to quite a few MLM parties that I’ve politely turned down. A girl a really like in the group has just joined an MLM company underneath another very nice girl in the group. She has now not only invited me to her “launch party “ but sent me a very long message of how she really wants me to come. She’s not a CF nor a hun but I can’t even go and just buy something as a token gesture since a) the items are quite expensive b) I don’t use the items in question c) I don’t like them. I’m worried no one will show up for her party and would like to support her but I don’t want to buy this crap!!

I usually respond to requests and say I hope they do well with their new business venture but I’m unable to support MLM so won’t be attending. Anything else and you will be constantly getting messages and added to various Facebook or WhatsApp groups that are selling you stuff.

Be honest and tell her exactly these things.

All you need to say is "No thank you, I'm not interested." No excuse needed. If they don't like it, who cares?

Look if she's your friend and she thinks of you as highly as you seem to think of her she will respect your choice not to go as long obviously as your decline isn't rude or disrespectful.

Friendship is a two way thing, if she kicks off then she isn't as good a friend as you thought.

Hmmm I think I might say something on the lines of “ I would love to offer you my support but unfortunately I don’t/can’t wear this product so I don’t feel it’s right coming to your party since I won’t be able to buy anything “. Unfortunately she’s a bit fragile, she wanted to do this to have a bit of a break from being “just a Mum”

If she’s a bit fragile, she’s all the more vulnerable to getting sucked in to their spiel. So that makes it really important that you’re not going to enable that.

"I'm sorry, I'm unable to attend, but I wish you luck!"

If you think it wouldn't kill your friendship, "I'm sorry, but while I support you, I can't financially or morally support MLMs."

And please consider sending her to Elle Beau's blog or Reddit's anti-MLM sub. She's barely in, so now's the time for her to get out.

Tbh its probably better if no one does go, because then she is more likely to give it up before she spends a small fortune propping up her "business". The less support she gets, the beter.

If you want to be kind though, maybe make up a relative that got sucked in for £££££ before losing it all and you dont want her to go through that too.

Can I ask which category this is in, too? (Clothing, oils, health shakes, etc.) Because if it's one that makes health claims, it's automatically bogus. There is not one MLM that lives up to its health claims, and doTerra and Young Living sellers often make (ostensibly unauthorized) claims that are downright dangerous.

Show her this....!!

I just make it clear I see it as their business and not a part of our friendship. So I would say something like "Oh, thanks for the invitation, good of you to think of me. It's not my kind of product but good luck with your business."

And if they go on about really wanting the support I say something along the lines of - It would be great if I liked [MLM product], but I really don't. You should be concentrating your efforts on potential customers, not people like me. We, however, should definitely go out for a drink [or whatever activity] sometime. Are you free on X?" Always take the conversation out of the sales pitch and back to the things that make your friendship if you can.

As Pyong says, better she finds out fast that it's not a money maker. If you like her a lot and want to support her, what will really help is her having someone who still values her for something outside the MLM scam once that has fallen to pieces.

BoomBoom perfect response!!! It’s jewelry...I don’t want to say the name but it looks like it’s more for proms/bridesmaids, certainly not for grown women. I can’t wear non precious metals, and I already have lots of real jewelry that I don’t wear because I have a baby (and no where to wear it TBH). At least if it was Avon I could get something useful and just spend a bit. If I wasn’t pressured into going to a party I would never, ever buy this type of jewelry

I would guess she's sent the same message to everyone. Unfortunately people that get involved in MLM are not above exploiting friendships because that's where the money is! I have a 'friend' who's been involved in several, and used to send me messages as a chat, about family etc then at the end would chuck in about 'working in her team'. I ended up deleting her and a few others for it as i got sick of the 'look at me I'm successful' posts when it was utter nonsense, they sell a fake lifestyle in the hope you'll want to be like them, so you join and make them money. The less support they get the better!

I have a friend who was selling MLM jewellery. Unfortunately the stuff was poor quality - the kind you’d find in cheap showbags or some market stalls. I’m a silver girl and this was - not. Even the advertising was poor quality. I simply said no.

I said the same to another friend selling Arbonne. Arbonne is very expensive and I don’t buy much makeup anyway, and in her case I felt she was trying to push the friendship a bit. She stopped selling it mysteriously a few months later anyway so I was glad I held out, unlike her other victims

I get "just come for the wine and snacks and chat.... you don't have to buy anything!"

Grrr. Last one I went to was a body shop one and never again.

I have a friend who got into this stuff for a while. I was clear with her that while I wished her well with it, the products weren't for me. I did feel guilty but the way I saw it, if I did buy anything I'd just be prolonging the inevitable for her. And I fundamentally have a problem with being emotionally blackmailed into spending money.

BIL's idiot girlfriend does all this shit. She peddles forever living, doterra, darcy candles and usborne books. It doesn't ever occur to her that she doesn't make any money from it, she just doesn't want to work in a proper job. BIL is too much of a dumbass to realise she's spunking money up the wall in these schemes.

Say what a pp said about being unwilling to support MLM. I’m amazed people still push this crap.

I had this last week. I said "Hi lovely. I'm afraid I am extremely anti mlm schemes and therefore won't be able to come to either date." Then followed up with some other stuff re our DDs and moved the conversation on to that. Absolutely fine, no damage to friendship and no wiggle room to ever ask me again.

This is really good reading:
botwatch.blog/2016/06/17/how-to-help-someone-in-an-mlm/

MLMs are completely awful aren't they? How they are legal, I just don't know.

Going by threads on here, be ready to lose her as a friend anyway, because she'll get so obsessed and talk about nothing else. Although I think that's more the 'Juice' and 'aloe' ones.They're cult-like.

BIL's idiot girlfriend does all this shit. She peddles forever living, doterra, darcy candles and usborne books.

I'd buy the books. I love Usborne.

No one turning up might be good. It might means she gives up before she gets too into debt and/or loses her friends.

Ive been to usborne party before too.. but they are cheaper online.

I have a friend who is in the throes of a MLM. Thankfully Im not a user of her product type anyways so have a clear reason not to endorse any of it. However I have sadly had to hide her on FB amd am dreading attending an event she is hosting next week (family related not Mlm related) as im 99% certqin there will be a stall out.