To wish my mum would come to the birth?

[Namechange128]

My mum and I have always been close, even though she lives overseas. She wasn't there for the birth of DD1 who arrived early, and then DD2 because she was looking after dd1. Maybe because it will be my last baby, or I'm nervous as the baby is measuring big and I'm little, or just because I've watched too many episodes of One Born, I'd really love to have her there for the upcoming birth of DD3.

DH is happy with this too, and we organised things so she could could be there and were very excited to ask her... And I was a bit surprised and let down when she said no.

She's nervous that she'd feel sick with worry and probably put me off. As children she never came to our sports events or orchestra performances for the same reason.
AIBU to feel a bit let down? Has anyone else been in the same situation? I appreciate it's her choice, and I'm lucky to have her around at all, but she's so far away most of the time and I just really want my mum.

Yes YABU. I know from my mum how stressful she found it when I was in labour, how scared she was. You want her there because you imagine her as a calm, positive presence but if she knows she'll be upset or frightened she's wise to refuse.

My mum doesn't cope well when people are sick etc, she gets herself worked up and starts to panic. I wouldn't want her at a birth for this exact reason. I think it's good she recognises she might not be able to give you the support you will need, much better her saying no now than on the day or her having to leave during labour etc.

I don't know how old your children are, op, but It's very difficult to watch your own child in pain and not be able to do anything. If your mum doesn't feel she could cope then you really have to respect her choice. Remember that OBEM is an edited entertainment programme

I had my mum there. One of the reasons was so that I had someone to stay with me when husband went off for a break etc.

She had four children so she was helpful. For example she bought a few flannels which she wiped me down when I was hot. And after I had given birth. She was the first one to feed our son. As my husband was feeling faint just after.

I'm glad she was there. And if I had had another baby she would have been there for them as well.