DS2 hits me

[AnyLondoner]

So my DS is 2 and has recently started to hit me, he will run off and when I get hold of him and pick him up he will whack me on the head with his fat hands, or slap me.

If I take something away from him that he's not suppose to have, he will hit me on my legs, or throw something at me. Sometimes he will pull my hair if I'm sitting down.
When he hits me, I tell him NO in a firm voice but he still continues. Sometimes I've thought of just tapping him on his hand, so he knows how it feels but I don't think that will teach him anything. He does this in public and when we're at home.

Please tell me this is just a phase, I have another DS who's 5 and a DD who's 4. I've never experienced this with them before.

Hi OP, I've not had a hitter but I have a lot of knowledge with early years in my profession.

Toddlers tend to lash out in order to vent frustration as they don't have the necessary skills to rationally deal with their upset. Hitting and banging things is a way to reconnect their body to their brain.

Keep calm and reiterate "no, don't hit mummy" and find something that he can bang. My DD used to get on her knees and try and bang her head on the floor so I had a xylophone, a peg board, a drum etc.

She's fine now!! Just remember, it isn't personal!

@YorkieDorkie My 3 yr old does this - to hurt me! For instance, I recently broke my ankle. So once the boot was off, she started kicking it then smiling when I'm yelping in pain. Whatever angers her, she takes it out on me! I don't know where she's got it from x

DS2 did this worse when he started the school nursery class, when I went in to change him or when it was time to go home. My strategy was to just shut down as he threw shoes at me, as I've just been diagnosed as autistic, and it was either that or cry or lose my temper.

Rugby ball hold when carrying so limbs can flail but not connect. Hair up and out of grasp range. Yes it is a thing, as pp posted, as language grows this will lessen.

Put yourself into timeout - he yanks your hair, you do the stern No with finger and go get yourself a glass of water/dry the dishes/flick through a mag sitting at the dining table.

wrt running away: reins. Backpack rein with a single strap/wrist loop is easier than trad two strap.

As an aside, think about your home - if there is stuff he's not to touch, remove or resite where possible. Reduces No situations which can be draining.

My DS is the same and has recently turned 2. When he does hit, I've tried the 'no, don't hit mummy' 'that hurts mummy' etc, but he just laughs and finds it funny.

Now I've been trying a different tactic, so whenever he does hit, I will take his hand and say 'no, stroke' and he will stroke instead. It's not completely fool proof, but it sometimes works.

This is my first DC and I've never really had any experience with toddlers before. I'm also hoping it's just a phase!

My DD used to kick me for a reaction, it was just a phase, and passed relatively quickly but I used to say no, and swiftly pick her up (so she knew I wasn't happy) and plonk her in her cot and walk away. I'd give it a few seconds/minutes before going back in and before I'd pick her up I'd ask her "are you going to kick mummy again?" In a stern voice. She'd usually be remorseful enough to say no, and if she ever did do it again it was straight back into the cot and I'd leave the room again

My youngest is going through this. It used to be daily but now hallens maybe once a week. I tell him no don't hit me. If he does it again I put him in the next room, say no, don't hit me and, close the door (obviously he just opens it and follows me back in).

@SickofPeterRabbit yes sadly at
3 years old they are exiting the egocentric stage and do understand that they can make choices about hurting others.

A 2 year old doesn't have the ability to "know" they are hurting you.

Thanks. He currently sleeps in a travel cot but I'm buying a toddler bed for him soon. He can get out of the travel cot, so can't put him in there for timeout.

He will also hit his dad, but he will tell him NO and he stops. I guess it's the big manly voice that scares him, I could say NO a million times and he will still do it. I have to physically remove him and put him in the bedroom where he can't get out because of the stair gate. He turned two last month, so have a feeling it will be at least another year before things change

My DD has been doing this and I asked nursery for advice. They say they do a time out in the corner and remove toys. Might be worth a go?

Use time out consistently - in his bedroom at home, in the pushchair when out and about and it won't take a year. If he gets a stern "No hitting" and 2 minute time out each time he hits in frustration/anger the phase will pass reasonable quickly.

If he hits for excitement try the "no hitting, kind hands" mantra and show him how to stroke.