AIBU to talk online with a guy even though I am married?

[Honeybooboo123]

So, just look for opinions here. I have a hobby, and through social media I have met some other people who have the same interest. One approached me about a project I was working on, and we have chatted regularly since. I also talk to a woman as well quite often. The three of us have worked on something that is creative and has had a sexual element... but not related to us personally. if that makes sense.

Anyway, we get on and chat most days. He's a lot younger, not in this country and there is zero chance of us ever meeting in real life. We have never engaged in any chat that has been anything more sexual than mild cheeky banter.

Would you worry if this was your DP doing this? My DH knows the full story but I just wondered?

I would say that was flirty. Also, he was talking about being addicted to his phone and then you progressed that to being addicted to you. Could he not have meant talking to other people too regarding your hobby?

I think my question to myself would be "what is it that I'm getting from this, and why am I seeking it outside my marriage?"
If it's even mildly flirtatious, it doesn't matter how much you share it with your DH, you're sniffing the cork (a metaphor drawn from playing with a temptation to drink if you are, as I am, long-time sober, but I think it probably plays beyond addiction). "Being honest and open" with your DH is not being honest and open if you're only doing it so that you can feel you're being honest and open. It's more a kind of hiding in plain sight. I don't think you'd be posting on MN if you were really OK with this, so maybe listen to your gut? Don't know if that makes sense, but it's meant as a helpful response, not finger-wagging!

I said never been called addictive before. And he replied I was. Joking about doing a 12 step programme to get over me and he replied it was too late.

If I saw my DP of 6 years texting that to another woman I would leave him.

It is way past flirtatious, it’s crossed a line by a massive margin for me.

Yes it’s joking, but joking about how obsessed with you he is, of course it’s flattering to you but it says a lot about your previous interactions if that’s where he is now.

You need to stop it now.

We have never engaged in any chat that has been anything more sexual than mild cheeky banter

Imho, 'banter' is a word used to brush off shitty behaviour.

As a pp said, you progressed him from saying he was addicted to his phone, to being addicted to you.

You are totally getting an ego boost out of this relationship. Is there anything wrong with that? Only you can answer that. But I suspect that putting up a post in aibu, you think that you are.

Yeah that's really unacceptable in a relationship.

I'd take it one step further than would I let my partners read it. It's it respect to my partner? Is it representative of how I feel about him both within myself and how I present myself to him.

Reading the above the answer to the first question is definitely no and if the answer to the second part is yes I'd be rethinking my relationship

You know that's flirty and you're being out of order

You asked, so that alone you are aware!

I wouldn't be putting up with that

Ok. Thanks for your feedback.