Those with young adults 21+ talk to me about the teenage years

[Metoodear]

Teen hacks
Advice
I have an 18 year old

His and low lows is all I will say

Holding on until he moves out when I think we will get on better am I wrong
He’s not awful but I think our relationship is strained

When will the dog clear I hear it’s about 22

What do you want to know?

Bit hard to say without more info. In my experience it’s hard to have the conversations you want to have at that age, because there is a lot going on in their lives and there is a lot that they don’t want to share with you. Is the plan for them to leave home soon, for uni/travel/work?

My tips would be

• whatever they say they still need to know you are there for them. Let them know that you are.

• try not to paint yourself into a corner when you are negotiating.

Any advice or hacks I feel awful but I looking forward to when he moves out

He has MH issues last year was awful and we have only just been able to leave him alone for a weekend dispite him being 18
And he lies loads about everything

It’s like having a lodger I don’t want

I love him dearly but the teens are tough going really hard

I have an 18 year old son, he is great and gives me no hassle at all. Goes to college, comes home and watches Netflix/plays xbox. He often seems moody, tired and quiet which makes me think something is wrong but then every other day or so he'll have a full blown convo with me/partner and I realise everything is fine.

He plays a lot of sport and so eats an awful lot. That's my biggest complaint!

When I moved out of my house, my mum and I had a much much better relationship! It was never bad, but it made us become best friends again haha.
I think that generally happens when most kids move out & grow up a bit 😊

My advice would be to not expect too much from him. I expect respect and for him to clean up after himself but when it comes to communication and stuff, I don't pry and I wait for him to come to me, they don't seem to enjoy telling us about their lives/feelings much at this age.

Mine is 16 and I'm hoping to god this is the last year at home for her (uni next year)
I love her so much but living with her is a nightmare.

When I left home my relationship with my father which was already really good improved but my relationship with my mother pretty much stopped altogether. A monthly phobecall a D flowers on her birthday. My father on the other hand I talk to daily and have him to stay for months at a time. I don't that there is a rule of thumb.

We have a 21 year old at Uni - never ever given us any problems.

DS2 however - will be 19 in November is the complete opposite. Honestly I sometimes wonder if he belongs to our family. He lies a lot too. Cannot hold a job down longer than a few weeks. Thinks his friends come first before anyone/anything else. If a friend needed help but DS2 had work, he would sack the work off and help out the friend but yet the friend would still go to work.

Quite often it’s “I haven’t got any board money this week because of xyz’ when you know it’s a crock of shit what he is saying.

I despair a lot.

He has a big bug bear with us - we support DS1 at Uni. He cannot understand that he is actually brighter than DS1 but he chose not to settle down at school and put his brightness to good use. He thinks we should give him the same money every week for err doing fuck all.

I feel your pain.

I have a son and a daughter, late 20's now. My son, no trouble at all. My daughter was another story! I think I had to go to the hospital about 3 times to collect her where she got so drunk that someone called an ambulance. Her mental health was in a really bad state. She was completely aimless and wouldn't talk to me about anything significant. It was difficult times. But yes, at around 21 complete change. She grew up a lot, managed her mental health a lot better and we got really close again. She's 28 now and mainly lives with her partner but likes to come and stay with me a couple of nights a week and we have a really good relationship now. So hang in there! It will get better :)