to think hen and stag parties are becoming the ruination of lovely weekends away

[user1485342611]

I'm just back from what was meant to be a nice relaxing break in a seaside town my family have been holidaying in for decades.

The usually quiet and lovely hotel we stay in is under new management and this weekend both a stag and a hen party were booked in. Cue no sleep at night, no relaxing conversation in the lounge with a glass of wine before heading out for dinner, no nice dinner in one of the local restaurants. Everywhere we went there was groups of loud shrieky hens, already pissed by 3.30 in the afternoon, or gangs of stags roaring, singing and shouting across the street at each other. The noise went on until 4am and no one else in the hotel got any sleep. We complained when checking out, as did other guests, and just got an apologetic 'what can you do' kind of response.

The last time I went away for the weekend with a couple of friends, a hens party were also booked in at the hotel and basically took over the place. They were sitting around the lounge from late afternoon drunk and shouting, then a big party bus pulled up outside playing music on top volume as they waited for all the hens to board, then they returned at about 3 pm with much shouting and laughing and swearing as they wandered around the corridors looking for their rooms. The following morning they were sprawled all over the terrace, shouting across to each other and having more drink and making the whole place really noisy and uncomfortable to sit in.

AIBU to think bloody hen and stag parties are taking over lovely country venues during Summer weekends, and bloody ruining them for everyone else?

YANBU. Were you in Blackpool OP?

I don't know, I think YABU. It's people that are the problem, not stag and hen dos.

I've been on plenty of hen dos and am not aware of ever having been a public nuisance.

Equally, I've experienced noise and disruption from groups gathered for many different reasons.

Sometimes the disruption is definitely antisocial behaviour but sometimes it's just a consequence of lots of people in one place and something we all need to accept as part of being out in public.

Glad I'm not the only one who's getting fed up of these bloody events.

There are certain people who seem to think that because they're on a Hen or Stag do, the normal rules of manners and consideration go out the window and they can do what they like. Some of them behave as if they've hired the hotel for a private party for the weekend, and their wants take precedence over everyone else's. They also seem to think that it's okay to walk down the Main Street or through the village at 3am singing loudly, cursing, and shouting.

I know you get other groups of people behaving like this. But increasingly stags and hens parties seem to be leaving large towns and cities where they're no longer welcome in a lot of venues, and descending on small rural villages and seaside towns where people have traditionally gone for quiet or family type holidays. As a result they're ruining the peace and quiet and tranquillity that was such an important part of these holiday areas.

Obviously, it's worse for the residents who must be driven mad, and even in a large town or city their behaviour is often intrusive and annoying.

I made a complaint about a stag party the last time were stayed at a british seaside resort. They were wearing 'virgin surgeon' T shirts and watching porn on their phones at breakfast. The hotel manager refused to do anything so I left and refused to pay.

I find the selfishness of it very sad.

YANBU

I get the train from Kings Cross to Edinburgh fairly frequently and hate the Friday afternoon ones as that’s when lairy Stag and Hen groups stagger on and make everybody else uncomfortable.

It’s so intimidating. Especially if you have to try to get past them to get to the toilet or galley carriage.

Shiklah I’m no prude but that really is disgusting. I would be so annoyed if my young children had been witness to that. Why should decent people have to put up with that. Unfortunately for a lot of hotels Money takes precedence over decency.

YANBU. I don't see why a hen or stag do's have to have a ton of alcohol or rude behaviour in the first place! You really think your other half would want to marry you if they saw you in that state mental the lot of them.

YANBU. These things seem to be on the increase. We were on a guided walk in Bath city centre recently and they were everywhere, screeching and yelling.

We've had similar problems in the last few years with hotel weddings. I refuse now to stay in a large hotel on a Saturday night in the summer as we've had so many disturbed nights and spoiled weekends thanks to the noise, and the behaviour of the guests.

A PP mentioned a Hilton. We stayed at one about 10 years ago now for a few nights including a Saturday. They didn't tell us there was a wedding. The disco pounded on into the early hours. The wedding guests were running drunkenly up and down the halls in the bedroom area banging on doors and shouting, not just once but many times. Somebody tried to get into our room. Somebody rang our room.

We called down to reception to complain; nothing they could do. We got no sleep at all. At breakfast we thought they'd all be sleeping in, but no, there they all were, shouting across the tables, playing phone footage of the wedding with the sound up full, moving the tables around so they could sit together in big groups.

I asked for the manager and complained in person about the disturbance in the night. He couldn't have cared less. I will say that a written complaint to Hilton's Head office got us a refund for that night, but we have never ever been back to any Hilton. Sounds like they are still just as bad.

I think hotels should be obliged to tell you when a large group likely to be a nuisance like a hen/stag or wedding is booked in, preferably when you book so you can choose to go elsewhere.

We'd booked to stay at a Holiday Inn on the way home from a cross channel trip and had forgotten it was a Saturday. They called us a few days beforehand to let us know there was a wedding and to say they would put us as far away as possible. They actually upgraded us to a business suite and we weren't disturbed at all. If one chain can do it, why can't the rest?

YWBU to pay the hotel tbh. Or to not get a refund later. You expect when staying in a hotel to be able to rest.

I had a similar issue on a ferry once, absolute carnage right outside our room ALL NIGHT plus fighting. Ship security did literally nothing. Which didn’t fill me with confidence for their control over the ship.

I went and spoke to a manager at midnight and asked to be moved to a further away cabin which they agreed to, took his name and then wrote to complain to the company when we got back and requested a refund (they provided it with vouchers for another holiday which we accepted). We were pretty much unable to enjoy the day in the destination town as well as we wanted to because we were both absolutely exhausted from very little sleep. It kept us awake through ear plugs!

You really think your other half would want to marry you if they saw you in that state hmm mental the lot of them.

I assume their OHs are just as bad.

It was utterly disgusting. And these men were in their 30s.

Do complain to the hotel. Lots and lots of self-catering places no longer accept large single-sex groups for this very reason.

I don't blame AirB&B and self-catering venues for not allowing single-sex parties. FFS, just go out for a night, why does it always have to be this stupid weekend away, or longer?

Fucking hate them on trains.

Airlines should be fined for letting drunk people board. A Jet2 flight to Ibiza had to divert to Toulouse due to a drunk stag do participant who got violent after being refused more alcohol - he was drunk when he boarded and the party was also allowed to board with a blow up doll.

I don't understand why people have to make things so big these days. It's not just weddings, it's milestone birthdays.

It's all part of the growing ridiculousness of weddings. Nobody can just have a meal and go on to a nightclub where everybody is pissed and stupid, they have to have a hen/stag "weekend" with enforced fun from 8am - 2am that the hens/stags have to be drunk to get through and inflict their crap on everybody around them.

YANBU. I enjoyed a good hen do in my day but I don't know why they can't just darken the footsteps of crappy pubs. Nowadays it's anywhere nice or family orientated they seem to pile in. We had one yesterday at afternoon tea with the kids, pissed as farts and swearing in a rather naice hotel.

We're taking our family holiday in Ibiza this year and made sure the hotel bans stags and hens!