AIBU to think I have to put up with this white hair?

[Fenwickdream]

Hi
Sorry posting for traffic as I'm desperate.
I'm looking for people who, like me, have dark hair with lots of grey (white) that just won't colour anymore.
I'm only 38 but after a stressful few years I'm so white at the temples and parting. The rest of my hair is really dark though. Colour / dye just won't stay in my hair unless it's really, really dark and then it's horrible and witchy. Plus my hair grows so fast it's coming back through in literally a week. There must be a way out of this, it's depressing! It's so ageing.

Has anyone with the same hair successfully found a solution? I'd happily go lighter but it's going to be so hard with all the built up dark dye and wouldn't I just be in the same problem with my roots looking black?
Is it worth going lighter?
Is there a way to make the dye hold onto my hair?
I'm in West Sussex, near Chichester. I'd pay literally anything for a really good hairdresser to help me right now.
The problem is I hate the look of streaky, ashy blonde in dark hair. I'd really need someone that was a brilliant colourist to get the tones right if I did go lighter.
Anyone got any tips?

Thank you

Hi Fenwick!

What dye has been used on your hair? How dark are we talking? X

I have my natural colour with ash blonde through it. It just blends in the greys much better x

You probably need a higher strength developer. Most home dyes use a too weak developer to open up the hair shaft enough to successfully stick on greys.

When I was dying my salt and pepper hair at home, I used separate colour and developer (from the Wella Welloxon range) and had great results.

Please don't use a higher strength developer, you need to use a process called pre-softening on grey or resistant hairs. Its simply using a developer - mix prior to using the mixed colourant. Your hairdresser will do this.

I'd say I have dark drown hair. I always used to put 5rb type dyes on it which was fine- not too dark and actually lighter than my actual hair. Nice warm tone which suited me.

However now the hair it's covering is so white you can clearly see a different colour. Very light red on the white with 5rb which kind of looks white/ bald even with dye on as it's just not covering.
So I went for dark brown on roots- it held much better but of course makes the white stand out more as it comes in. I also started off sort of bayalaging the dark brown it's it's too harsh for my whole head but it's slowly creeping down. It's just awful!

So jealous of my blonde friends that can hide there greys but blimey god knows what I'd look like blonde. Been dark my whole life.

Your hair might need pre-softening prior to colouring. Grey can be resistant to hair colour.

Book in at salon for a consultation. If it is the fine baby hairs around your face do not just bump up the developer, unless you want to add bald spots to your woes, those hairs are really fragile.

I did have some highlights once a couple of years ago. It worked well for covering the greys longer but despite telling her no ashy colours, they make me look dead, it was ashy. It looked very un natural streaked through my dark hair.

I don't see why processing hair twice (pre-softening) is better for the hair than using a higher strength developer? I should clarify that by higher strength I mean 20%, as opposed to the 6% or whatever it is that you get in home dyes. I did this for years and my hair stayed in great condition.

And it's definitely not just a few greys now. I'd say I'm 60 % White at the temples. 20% in parting but barely any in the back.

Anyone know what happened on that thread the other day where the woman said her greys were disappearing?
Did she say what she'd done differently or was she peddling something in the end? I meant to keep an eye on it.

Hi Fenwick,

(I don't know how to set a user name!) I'm 44 and like you have a patch of grey / white at the temples and various in-between. Also I have found that my hair colour was getting sort of faded over the last few years. I have different hair colour to you. I was a golden blonde when young, then strawberry blonde in my late teens and eventually a strange colour - not brown, not black, but on the colour packets, a very dark blonde.

I have tried various hair dyes over the years but I have found that they accumulate and have a bad effect on long hair. I became seriously unhappy with the state of my hair late last year - hair frizzy / brassy / a lot of hair was falling out when I washed - particularly the front. Very ageing.

Anyway... over the Xmas break I did a lot of internet research (and took an opportunity to hide at home and skipped dying my hair for a month), and then in late January tried a new type of dye from the USA. I highly recommend it - the brand is Hair Print. You need a bit (2cm or so) of non-dyed hair for it to 'take'. With you hair problem - where conventional dye doesn't take, you could be good to try out without waiting!

I've used this 3 times so far (will do a 4th in 3 weeks) and am extremely happy with the results. It is honestly like having my hair from my 20s back. The colour is natural, hair appears healthy and there is far less of a noticeable regrowth line.

I'm in Australia and I can only get it on the internet (one online shop) and I have to apply it at home. It comes from the USA. It is expensive (AUD60) but I won't use anything else.

If you follow the instructions (including pre-preparation instructions), it works well.

Hope that helps.
D

Thank you I will investigate that dye today!

Going to buy it! Just seen a review with pics. Luckily it will take me about 2 minutes to grow 2cm of hair 🙄 Thanks, wish me luck

Mine is exactly the same. Dark brown and dye was just not 'sticking'.
I've had more success with Garnier Nutrisse semi permenant in a 4.

My hair is the same. Unfortunately I really do have to dye it every two weeks, 3 at a push. I've tried expensive dyes, but found cheap dyes the best. I currently use DermaV10 which is £1 in Home Bargains. I condition my hair well, and it's lovely and soft (currently using Pantene 2 in 1 as on holiday).

I just use Henna from Lush but once it's on and wrapped in clingfilm I leave it on for at least 6 hours or overnight. (I dyed cheap bed linen black for that reason) and it works.

Now due to alopecia (not related to dyeing hair as I have pcos) I don't bother and just shave my head and wear my wig lol

They don't sell or ship that stuff to the UK 😫

Is there anyone out there who did go blonde from very dark for grey related issues? How did that work for you?
I'll have a look at the dyes suggested. Thanks for advice so far.

I've tried henna but the white is so white that I looked bald- very light copper on those bits. It looked horrible.

Go to a shop that sells the products hairdressers use (Sallys) and buy a box of dye and bottle of peroxide. Mix equal parts, apply to roots and grey areas. Leave on for 30 - 40 minutes. Rinse. Don't bother with the rubbish box dies they sell on the high street, they do not work. If you want a colour to be slightly lighter use 2/3 peroxide 1/3 colour instead.

I've been dying my hair myself for 20 years and manage to cover all my greys. I now have to do it every 3 or 4 weeks but my hair has stayed in the same condition.

I've been trying to go lighter and lighter for a couple of years and I'm now blonde. I used to have dark brown hair. I prefer blonde. I use powdered bleach mixed with peroxide to do this. The greys don't show up anywhere near as much on lighter hair. I also put in a few highlights.

Would you consider just giving up on the dyes and concentrating on the quality of your hair, perhaps getting a really good, modern haircut? There are some amazing styles out there.

Grey/white hair does become very resisitant to later on in life and eventually the scalp will start to react to dyes after decades of dyeing. The feeling of not having to dye hair any more every 3 weeks is liberating.

Expore colour, too - some of us can get away with really bold colours with clothing and look amazing!

They don't even sell 20% peroxide in the UK. It was banned years ago. I assume you mean 20vol which is 12%?

It always confuses me how people feel fine advising others to pour potentially dangerous chemicals onto their skin when they and the people they're advising have had no training.

OP, go for a consultation at a salon. There could be many reasons your hair is not taking to colour and many different solutions. No-one will be able to give proper advise without seeing your hair.

As far the blonde, it is the route most people take. It doesn't have to be light or brassy or an all over colour. It does tend to suit people more as they age. Again, a proper consultation at a salon will go through this with you.

To a certain extent you do have to embrace it ime. I have spent the last year going from dark brown to light brown. I just started dying the roots the lighter colour and got regular cuts. Now even keeping on top of the light brown is too much. Roots showing within a week. That is how fast hair grows. It's a losing battle. I'm going to try the blonde route next but am fed up of dying. I use the colour spray as a temporary measure if im going out. I do feel a bit scruffy but I think it's short term pain for long term pain. Dyed dark hair can look very fake and aging.

OP, go for a consultation at a salon. There could be many reasons your hair is not taking to colour and many different solutions. No-one will be able to give proper advise without seeing your hair.

It's very expensive to keep going to the hairdressers every few weeks. Lots of people can't afford it. My friend is a hairdresser. She told me anyone can dye their hair, if they have the right products. It's not difficult to dye hair. You mix two things together, apply to your hair, leave on for 30 minutes and rinse. That is exactly what the hairdressers do, but they charge a fortune. Also, my hair looks better when I do it, because I know exactly what I want.

That is exactly what the hairdressers do, but they charge a fortune. Also, my hair looks better when I do it, because I know exactly what I want

Yes, it's as simple that. We spend three years in training to mix two things, slap it on and rinse after thirty minutes. That's how thick we are.

If you want an all over colour and don't have issues with resistant greys or colour fade, yes, it is easy. Anything else is a colour correction and is not easy. Hairdressers and colourists don't even learn it until year 3 of their training.

OP has resistant hair or an issue with porosity and grey hair. She is not going to get a good result by listening to people on the internet who cannot see her hair. She also said, in her OP, she is willing to pay any amount of money to get it fixed so I don't think expense is an issue.

I'd expect they'd advise a mix of highlights and lowlights to both cover the grey and reduce the demarcation line when the roots come through, so colouring every two weeks might not be needed. It really depends what OP wants and what her hair is like.

"They don't even sell 20% peroxide in the UK. It was banned years ago. I assume you mean 20vol which is 12%?"

You're right - that's exactly what I meant! Sorry.