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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Facebook is watching me / us

46 replies

LovelyBath77 · 11/06/2018 07:39

and I don't like it. I have had a friend with a bereavement recently and after finding her some help online, it is now posting stuff about death in my timeline. Also after looking at fertility stuff on here, it is now giving me ads for fertility treatment.

I don't like this way it is picking up things online and feeding me stuff about them. AIBU? And have others noticed it as well?

OP posts:
flightyflights · 11/06/2018 07:45

YANBU to not like it, it's a horrible feeling.

YABU to expect things to be any different. If you're not paying for a service online, then you are the way they make money.

Raven88 · 11/06/2018 07:50

They have always done this and it doesn't bother me. No service is free. On FB we are the product that is being sold. We are constantly watched and tracked now but that's the price we pay for social media. I was searching acne treatment the other day and all my adds are now that. A lot of people cover their front facing camera because they believe they are being watched.

JustVent · 11/06/2018 07:51

It listens as well.

I asked DH if he fancied ordering a take away pizza. Then I opened my Facebook to Dominoss adverts.

I know I can turn it off, but it actually fascinated me.

Whisky2014 · 11/06/2018 07:52

That's how cookies work and have always worked. Nothing new . Clear your cookies.

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 11/06/2018 07:54

I wouldn;t mind so much if it wasn't things like death and sensitive things like fertility. I was browsing for these privately but don;t need reminded of it first thing every morning!

OP posts:
adaline · 11/06/2018 07:57

It's always done this. It's in all the terms and conditions you agreed to when you signed up for Facebook (and Mumsnet, and every other free website you use). Clear your cookies on a regular basis (you can set your browser to do it automatically when you close it, or every 24/48/72 hours) or use private browsing.

When it comes to free sites like this, you are the product. The way they back their money is through advertising (so, knowing what their users are interested in and targeting adverts towards them).

BertieBotts · 11/06/2018 07:59

It's to do with your cookies. Every time you use a site and it comes up with that warning about cookies, you can just click no thank you and they will stop.

Nobody else can see it, so it's nothing to worry about.

Prusik · 11/06/2018 08:06

The other day I read a thread on MN on my phone about mattresses of all things. That very afternoon Facebook started showing my ads about mattresses. I found that pretty extreme. I wasn't even on a mattress website!

Tessliketrees · 11/06/2018 08:09

I was watching a TV show on my PC the other day. As far as I remember I hadn't Googled anything about it. I was just watching it on my stand alone player. I went on youtube a bit later on and on my home page was lots of clips etc from that TV show.

Has that happened to anyone else? It really freaked me out. I am just now thinking I should have checked my search history at the time but I can't remember exactly when it was now.

Ezzie29 · 11/06/2018 08:11

I’d had a song in my head all day, just a certain part, hadn’t sung it aloud or anything, and then that exact phrase came up embroidered on a cushion in my targeted Instagram ads. Pure coincidence I’m sure, but it did give me a shock!

EndoplasmicReticulum · 11/06/2018 08:14

It listens too, at the risk of sounding like I should be wearing a tin foil hat.

I went into app settings on my phone and turned face books access to the microphone off.

onceisawabee · 11/06/2018 08:15

You could always use the Tor browser?

BWatchWatcher · 11/06/2018 08:16

Do you have an android phone and the facebook app? If so, you have granted it access to your microphone.
If you want to use Facebook, use it over the web, no app.

Tessliketrees · 11/06/2018 08:16

@onceisawabee

Can you recommend one?

The YouTube thing really bothered me and I am not tech savvy enough to know if I am being daft. I get I am being watched on my browser but am aghast at the idea they was watching my whole PC.

onceisawabee · 11/06/2018 08:24

You just download it from the internet, load it up and it will run and you use it instead of google

DeadGood · 11/06/2018 08:25

"I was watching a TV show on my PC the other day. As far as I remember I hadn't Googled anything about it. I was just watching it on my stand alone player. I went on youtube a bit later on and on my home page was lots of clips etc from that TV show.

Has that happened to anyone else?"

Yes, it will have happened to many people (even if they didn't really notice) because facebook IS listening to you. This isn't conjecture or hyperbole, it's common knowledge.

onceisawabee · 11/06/2018 08:25

www.techradar.com/reviews/tor-browser

BitOutOfPractice · 11/06/2018 08:27

It's not just FB. It's the whole internet. In fact FB is more transparent about it than most sites and gives you more options for changing things you don't like than most sites

MTBMummy · 11/06/2018 08:29

You can change your FB settings so you don't get personalised ads, also if you're browsing for things you don't want to show up on a shared computer (ie gifts for other half) then use incognito browsing, which flushes out the cookies once you close the window.

Did this after searching literally for years for a specific item for DP only for it to pop up on his FB feed a couple of days before I gave it to him

That said, it's a free service, your data is what generates the revenue for the company.

If you want to scare yourself, download all the data the FB and Google have on you and you'll understand why you're such a valuable product

Gottokondo · 11/06/2018 08:31

Mine doesn't understand me. I have been dealing with infertility and miscarriages for the past five years and it insists in showing me ads for pregnancy tests and diapers. Really painful sometimes.

Fabricwitch · 11/06/2018 08:33

You are being unreasonable IMO.
You consent to cookies when using these websites (to get information for free.)
If you want to browse those things privately, you are more than welcome too.
Why should businesses be paying to advertise to people who are never going to want their products/service?
And I would rather have adverts for things I might actually want, rather than completely random stuff.

ItchyBites · 11/06/2018 08:34

I was in a service station a few weeks ago and made a comment to my OH about some nice wrapping paper they had in the farm shop there. When we got home, Facebook was showing me adverts for similar nice wrapping paper. I've never searched online for wrapping paper or anything, so my phone must have heard me make the comments. I'm going to have a look at my settings when I get time.

scaryteacher · 11/06/2018 08:38

This is why I don't do FB or have a smartphone, or an Alexa thing.

SuperSuperSuper · 11/06/2018 08:38

It feels weird but the alternative is paying a couple of quid (or whatever) a month for Facebook which many users would not bother to do. This would be a shame. Likewise, Mumsnet, Twitter. I prefer free services and will put up witj targeted ads.

lynmilne65 · 11/06/2018 08:47

I never get any adverts or anything!! But I do have an ad blocker free and simple to use