to not want them to come visit?!?!?!

[emjhill]

Ok long story short.........!

Last nov we lent BIL & his gf money (£500) "for a week" we thenhad to demand it backby the start of march as it still hadnt all been paid back (just paid back £150) (yet bragged at all the money they had!)

Anyway it got all very nasty from there part and baring in mind I had NOTHING to do with it BIL started calling MY family names, so in my opion thats it nothing more to do with them!

Well we live in spain and MIL has just informed me that when they come for a week in july (3 weeks before i have my baby girl grace!) that my BIL and his GF are coming with them!!!!!!!!

Am i right in being really annoyed about this since no one has rang, text, emailed etc to apologies to us about how they acted? yet are coming on holiday to wear we live!?!?!?

I dont want to see them etc and have no intention of "making them feel at home" but i know DH will and MIL will want to see the kids etc so how do i get round it???

I know im going to get so much hassle from MIL as we dont hugely get on anyway!

Ok rant over!

Love Ems xxx

Poor you!
I don't know what I'd do, but you're the one having the baby and you certainly won't need the stress. Maybe you should talk to your dh about it and see if a compromise can be reached.

He just keeps saying just forget about it dont let it worry you etc!

But i cant im so angry!!!

xxxx

How does your DH get on with his family?

I ask because I just think you MAY have to tread more carefully than you feel you want to; you are not getting on with his brother and his mum and it can be an area of real relationship problems if people feel they have to choose between getting on with their partner and their own family.

I'd say bear in mind that they are and always will be his family. If you can I think you should rise as far above them all as you can, be polite and they won't be able to fault you and your DH won't be piggy in the middle.

Ok, rise above it is all very well but... 3 weeks before her due date???

I find that very unthoughtful of your BIL and your MIL, and that your DH should stand up to his family and say no. It is not unreasonable to want the last couple of weeks of your pregnancy to be completely stressfree.

My SIL came to visit 3 weeks before I was due with DS, bringing her DS with her. He was full of the cold, coughing all the time. I of course caught his cold and after I had had an (emergency) CS was in loads of pain because I had to cough all the time. I was livid.

Hope you are able to sort something out.

I think you have to have another chat with DH and explain to him that you need to reach some kind of compromise.

Maybe if BIL was allowed to visit but not stay in the house. What about DH bringing up the money matter with BIL again and ask him to either pay the money they owe you or at the very least apologise to you both. Its not a lot to ask.

YANBU - it's your house - state clearly that they can not come or if they do you will go elsewhere. People can't just invite themselves over, especially when you are heavily pregnant and it is unfair and unkind of your DH to not support you at this time when it is clearly making you upset.

Any other time, fine - suck it up. But at 37 weeks pregnant you have more than enough on your plate to have to deal with visitors you do not want.

Am on your behalf.

My baby was due 2/1/7 and my husband suggested having friends to stay for the weekend mid december. I tactfully pointed out that this may not be a great idea. As it happened I ended up having an emergency c section on 15/12/6! Anything can happen and even if it doesn't you need some time to yourself and with your husband. Go with your instincts!

they are completely taking the p*ss

I would say sorry but its not convient/appropriate I will be 37 weeks pregnant tired and hot I need to be able to relax and not be stressed and if you all come I wont be able to, and say you are still on unhappy about the money thing