To be annoyed people don’t realise deafness has levels!

[Veryfeduphear]

I have mild hearing loss. So much so that I have hearing aids that I wear sometimes (but don’t particularly like them), I have to lip read, ESPECIALLY in noisy environments, and do this without even realising. I spend a lot of time asking people to face me, telling them there’s no point talking to me whilst we’re in a noisy room and even having to tell some people with ‘softer’ voices that they may as well give up. As well as the hearing loss I have issues with frequency separation, so often noises just blur into one.

However I have no major issues, and don’t consider this hearing loss a major impact on my life.

I don’t tell people I have hearing loss, but people do notice and then ask me. I get comments like “oh you talk well for a deaf person” and all of a sudden people start shouting at me very loudly. And “but you work somewhere where you have to talk a lot!”

AIBU to think that most people should realise that not every single person on the planet who has hearing issues is 100%, profoundly deaf?

I wear two hearing aids, moderate hearing loss in both ears for the last few years. I've never had anyone make comments about it or shout at me. I tell people I see regularly upfront about how they can help me to hear/see what they say. If I need a stranger to say something again I will tell them I'm HoH and ask them to repeat. I avoid very noisy environments if I can and friends/family are happy to accommodate me. But I couldn't cope without my aids.

Maybe pre-empt people by explaining about your hearing loss first and how to help you? And perhaps people assume you're profoundly deaf as you have no visual clue you can hear, the assumption that only someone profoundly deaf wouldn't need heating aids as they wouldn't help (although many deaf people I know do wear at least one, but that's only a recent discovery on my part). If you wore your aids they may assume (correctly) you have some level of hearing?

It is a hard disability as it's a hidden one.

Excellent post @Urbanbeetler

YANBU OP. Before I had a deaf child my deaf awareness probably wasn't very good, i think some deaf awareness, as a part of disability awareness in generally, should be taught in schools. There are huge misconceptions about deafness, across the range of hearing loss levels, and considering one in six people are affected by deafness i don't think a bit of deaf awareness is too much to ask.

That is a thoroughly depressing post fawkes.

Deaf awareness is really important. It’s all about how to communicate with deaf people so they can understand you and they’re not isolated. Have you seen the Silent Child? That’s the reality for many deaf and hearing impaired children.

Obviously it doesn’t have to be a weekly “lesson” but it could fit nicely as part of the PSHE teaching.

People think that because you wear hearing aids, your hearing is suddenly perfect again. It isn't.

This is spot on. I teach deaf children and the number of mainstream teachers who don’t understand this is the bane of my life. Same for cochlear implants.

For anyone else wondering what deaf awareness is, there are some good materials here...
www.actiononhearingloss.org.uk/how-we-help/information-and-resources/publications/daw-18/

www.ndcs.org.uk

@fawkesAgain2 Firstly, what is "deaf awareness"? deaf awareness is quite self explanatory, it is being more aware of deaf people and how to make small adjustments in order to include them either in schools, workplaces, or general social settings. I think you could have figure that out yourself really, but you're intentionally trying to offend and goad. Many charities will give free deaf awareness talks to schools and nurseries. It would fill a single pshe lesson nicely, as @purpledaisies says.

Fawkes, your ignorance and dismissiveness towards deaf awareness is disgusting.

Purple, thank goodness there's more insightful people like yourself around.

My son is severely deaf in both ears, and has worn hearing aids since he was 8 weeks old (he's now nearly 18 months). He does amazingly well and his speech and language skills are developing daily. He will rely on not just some form of hearing technology but also the understanding and acceptance of society with regard to his hearing loss for the entirety of his life.

In my opinion, Deaf awareness, along with other forms of disability awareness are really important to ensuring the development of understanding and adaptable future generations. The advances that medical care has seen in the previous 10-20 years, mean that now we have far more individuals with various severity disabilities who will need kind and supportive individuals to work with, be friends with and grow with in the future. gets off soap box

"[deaf awareness] would fill a single pshe lesson nicely"

You know they're already full, right? What should not be taught to make way for 'deaf awareness' and why?

It would fill a single pshe lesson nicely,

And all the other disabilities? I assume they deserve equal awareness? Are there enough PHSE lessons available?

Also, in response to OP, I can sympathise. My real pet hate is when people naively ask 'so is he completely deaf?' What even is 'completely deaf'?!

If you mean does he need hearing aids to be able to hear anything meaningful, then yes, he does, it'd be a bit of a bloody statement to wear hearing aids as accessories if he wasn't going to get anything from them, no?

And all the other disabilities? I assume they deserve equal awareness? Are there enough PHSE lessons available?

In secondary, probably one a week for (term time, obviously, so 39 weeks) for five years at least. Couple of hundred, almost.

Couple of hundred, almost.

So that's a "No" then.

PSHEE is once every two weeks for years 7-9 then stops at GCSE. So 60 lessons total at my school.

I'm totally deaf in one ear and have hearing loss in the other. Actually, I have found that most people are lovely about it. People generally don't mind repeating themselves, all of my friends make an effort to walk on the 'correct side' of me to help me hear when we are walking and I choose my seat first at restaurants so I can position myself whereever is best.

Also, its very useful at gigs where I'm then the only person who can lip read everyone and know what is going on!

On the rough side, my volume control over my own voice is utterly broken and I often have no idea that I'm talking too loudly. DP (in a nice way!) lets me know, but of course, then I might start talking too quietly, it makes me feel pretty uncomfortable. I also have issues in places with background noise, I have to concentrate so hard that it gets wearing and whatever I am doing stops being fun.

Recently, I played the same (nerdy and complicated) board game in a pub and in a friend's house....I thought I didn't like the game when we played it in the pub, but on playing it somewhere quiet it turns out that its brilliant!

Fawkes could have put it less abruptly but I agree with everything she's said.

Schools don't have time to teach about everything people want. PSHE time is limited and no one has answered her when she asked why deafness is more important than anything else.

I also agree that most people have no need to think or know or care about deafness and why should they? If her attitude is that the softly spoken may as well not bother talking to her and that everyone should have some kind of education on her specific problem then she's deluded as is anyone who think's this kind of issue should be taught by schools.

I'm kinda interested to see that good communication is so low on people's agendas. It's not like things like "don't deliberately shout at people unless they ask you to" are so special to deaf people.

I also agree that most people have no need to think or know or care about deafness and why should they? not having a dig, but i assume you feel the same way about all disabilities? To be honest i find that quite depressing. The "it doesn't affect me so i don't want to know about it" attitude in general is taken advantage of by the government, who cut cut cut away at disability services.

I'm sure we all have huge gaps in our knowledge related to things that don't affect us, or that we have no interest in, but it doesn't take much to open your mind a bit and at least realise that a small amount of education can be so helpful to someone else.

no one has answered her when she asked why deafness is more important than anything else

It's not. But just because you can't teach children everything doesn't mean you shouldn't teach them some things.

IME shouting at talking VERY loudly to people generally comes after normal volume communication has failed. I also disagree that most people have no experience of peple with hearing loss. I think the real problem is that, for most people, that experience is with elderly relatives who themselves are relatively new to hearing loss and have few of the coping skills of someone who has had hearing loss from childhood. And who may be in denial about their hearing loss, or have the wrong type of hearing aid, or who refuse to wear hearing aids, or who have have put them in but switched them off (this last may just be typical to my family).

"i assume you feel the same way about all disabilities?"

Yes.

I knew nothing about congenital heart disease until my second daughter was born. Nothing about epilepsy until my father 'got' it. I don't expect anyone to know or care about these conditions unless it impacts them - and impacts can be tertiary.

People don't need education; common sense, empathy and openness are all most need. In my opinion, an hour on how to accommodate someone with a level of deafness is a waste of time for most people. From a utilitarian standpoint, there are hundreds of better uses of time.

"But just because you can't teach children everything doesn't mean you shouldn't teach them some things."

Our time tables are jam packed. There's no room for adding anything. So, what should be removed and why is 'deaf awareness' at the top of the waiting list?

I'm well aware that nothing is going to get cut from the timetable to make room for deaf awareness, @youngOffenders, just as you are! I said i think some deaf awareness, as a part of disability awareness in generally, should be taught in schools (so deafness not "top of the waiting list").

I do think this, but unfortunately i do not make the rules! It's not going to happen. If you really want me to go through my plans to overhaul the education system when I am in charge then I can, but i don't really think that you actually care about hearing that, you just want to make it clear that disability awareness is not important to you, and should not be important to anyone else either. You have made that clear.

excellent post youngoffenders.
As many posters have stated, the overwhelming majority of people will be interested and eager to do what they can to help when you tell them. the point is, you can't expect everyone to know everything about every condition. It doesn't help though when people who have a disability or medical condition, then get irritable when someone asks about it - as one or two posters have indicated. All that does is prevent people from asking, and therefore learning.

YANBU

It has nothing to do with 'oh we're not psychic'! FFS it's about common sense.

"you speak really well for a deaf person" is offensive and ignorant. So is "oh but you don't look deaf"

Then there's the people who think shouting will magically restore the deaf person's hearing, or exaggerating their mouth movements will make everything so much clearer. And those who assume you stop being deaf if you wear a hearing aid / have a cochlear implant.

As I said, common fucking sense, nothing to do with being psychic.

"If you really want me to go through my plans to overhaul the education system when I am in charge then I can"

Yes please. I'm really interested but do remember that resources are limited (including time) and if you want children to read and write and learn sciences and MFL etc then you can't waste hours about '[something] awareness' or '[something] training'.

We'd probably agree on quite a few changes.

"you just want to make it clear that disability awareness is not important to you, and should not be important to anyone else either. You have made that clear"

Good.

So, what overhauls would you make to the education system? Remember that this all needs to be done with mind to the fact that children need to be academically educated and that this is the most important aspect of their time at school.