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Letting friends drift- how to specify no birthday presents

5 replies

writingsonthewall · 10/06/2018 20:26

I had a group of friends for some years. Two of them have seemed to be trying to let the friendship with me and one of the others slide for some time.

They now rarely contribute to what was a once daily chat etc. I’ve spent time worrying about why and trying to dissect what I’ve done wrong but to be honest I’m tired of it all and so if they’ve had enough then so be it.

The reason for posting is that for some years we’ve all exchanged birthday presents, nothing big just flowers or fizz or candle etc. It’s my birthday next month and I really want to put a stop to this now as the last year or so I have felt the presents are out of habit and obligation rather than proper friendship. Where once we’d exchange presents and have a night out, now they’re just stealthily left on a doorstep without even a hello to accompany them.

I don’t really want to be awkward or make a big deal out of it but equally I don’t want the present exchange farce to continue and would rather it stopped at my turn if you see what I mean!

How can I say no presents politely?

OP posts:
Olddear · 10/06/2018 20:39

My friend and I have decided on no more gifts for birthdays/Christmas etc....cards only. She just brought it up and asked if I'd be agreeable to stopping buying gifts, would I be happy with cards only. I was delighted!
It was a two minute conversation, just takes someone to start it.

writingsonthewall · 10/06/2018 20:41

Yeah maybe I’m overthinking it and it’s that simple

OP posts:
writingsonthewall · 10/06/2018 20:41

Ps thanks Smile

OP posts:
charityhallet · 10/06/2018 20:43

I'd like to know this too. I have the added complication that the presents are habit and not very thoughtful so we are buying each other generic female presents probably none of us want (candles, body lotion etc) and it just seems so silly!

eggcellent · 10/06/2018 20:45

Make it about your birthday, just say "hi guys, please don't feel like you have to get me gifts this year, I'd prefer just a card or a text Smile"

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