Is my cousin out of order

[MigraineMonday]

My DC (dear cousin) is a lot older than me, has 2 DC and recently divorced. His marriage had been failing for an incredibly long time and he shouldered most of the burden for that. He had an incredibly tough time over the last few years. Infidelity (on the wife's part), bereavement, ill health, legal problems you name it.

He and his first wife were together for over 20 years and all their friends are mutual friends. In the end, the divorce was incredibly acrimonious, as the wife wanted to stay married.

Soon after, he remarried. He now posts gushing FB updates about his new wife, and the 'best year/ birthday/ Christmas ever' with her. He's still FB friends with first wife (FW).

I am so happy he's happy. However, the FB updates leave a bad taste in my mouth and I don't 'like' them. He's happy, FW isn't and it feels a bit cruel to rub her face in it. I don't want her to see all his family 'liking' these posts.

For me, the worst bit is they had a custody battle, and he won, rightly so. The kids are included in these 'happy families' posts. He's asked me why I never like or comment on these posts and I've just said I'm not too FB savvy.

AIBU? Should I just be happy for him and like his social media updates?

I think that it’s not up to you to police his FW’s feelings. I wonder if you are projecting how you would feel, if you were in the same position. Surely if she was unhappy seeing the status updates she would just unfriend him..?

After the way she behaved I don't see why you skulduggery feel sorry for her. He's happy for the first time in a long time. I would say that that is something to celebrate.

Is this a reverse?

The former wife cheated on him. She can’t have wanted to stay married that badly if she was happy to shag someone else.

He is happy now with someone new and entitled to post what he likes on his own Facebook, nobody is forcing former wife to stay on his friends list, she can unfollow him or delete him at any time she wishes.

I’m sure his family ‘liking’ his posts are just happy he’s happy after a shit few years and being cheated on.

He's happy. He doesn't have to apologise for that.

Why do people assign so much importance on blinking FB likes ?

You are within your rights to not 'like' his status updates the same as he is within his rights to post them.

It's really none of your business

And it's ridiculous for a grown man to be asking why a grown relative isn't "liking" his FB status updates

I don't get what this has to do with you OP? His ex wife can't have wanted to stay married that much...

He's asked me why I never like or comment on these posts and I've just said I'm not too FB savvy.

He is BU for this reason alone. Fancy challenging someone for why they never 'like' your FB posts. What a sad sack.

You are overthinking the rest.

Are you sure she can see the updates? You can alter your settings to hide certain people from seeing certain things. Otherwise, he can post what he wants...she knows where the unfriend button is if she doesn’t like it

Only thing I don't like about that is having kids in the photos, it's nasty and uncalled for! Cheating shouldn't mean she loses her kids!

Cheating shouldn't mean she loses her kids!

Would you say this if it was the bloke who had cheated or is it because it's the mother and everything goes out the window when it's a mother cheating?

Of course I would FuckPants.
Cheating doesn't make a bad parent, it makes them a bad partner.

*Cheating shouldn't mean she loses her kids!
*
I presume he has been granted more time with the children than her as he is more able to meet their needs, not because she had an affair.

Aren't you happy for him that he seems to be happy? First wife can delete him from Facebook if she wants.

It's rare for a partner to "win" a custody battle these days. Care of the children is usually divided between the parents unless there are some serious issues here.

I'm not getting the "rightly so" comment. This all sounds like family have all sided with him (the good guy) and the ex wife is being made out to be evil. Nothing's black and white.

Perhaps your cousin isn't giving you the full story. His FB posts sound fake as fuck. No one has the "best day ever!" so frequently.

Fair enough, I probably am projecting massively. I am genuinely very happy for him, and will 'like' the occasional post to keep the peace.

If his first wife was upset, she’d unfriend him.

You are being offended for her, and yet she is not being offended

This is why I don't use FaceBook. You only "like" a post if you like it.

There's no point being fake. He's a lot older, he's a cousin, you're not that close? Just leave him to it. He shouldn't be contacting you over this. It's weird.

His FB posts sound fake as fuck. No one has the "best day ever!" so frequently.

Actually, I find that after getting through a period of intense stress or heartache and recovering, it can honestly feel like every day is the most amazing! You just appreciate everything loads more if that makes sense.

I will say though the fact he actually raised the non liking with OP is a bit of a sign he might be doing it for show. As if he’s only posting it for the reactions he’ll get.

I see why you're uncomfortable with it. All his and his ex's friends are mutual friends so it feels like he's playing games trying to get friends to take sides.
I wonder how many people he's rung to demand they "like" his gushing #bestfamilyever posts?

I'd step away from this charade.

Yes Walking that's what I was trying to say- he seems to be posting for a reaction.

Seriously? Poor bloke let him enjoy the rest of his new life she's an ex wife whose cheated on him. I'd like all his post if it was my cousin