To wonder if

[Spandex]

when a relative gives you hand-me-down clothes for your children, it's unreasonable for her to ask for them back when you've finished with them so that she can give them to the charity of her choice?

It could be years before I've finished with them and now I have to catalogue what she gave me?

i have been given heaps of clothes by my bf and a couple of other mates.

i always return them when dd has outgrown them. in fact i dropped a bag around the other day and bf was very pleased as another good friend of hers now has a 4 month old dd.

i just say thanks very much, i'll return them when she's grown out of them at the time they are given.

i have passed stuff on too and specifically have asked my friends to return some pieces but tell them to pass on the other stuff.

older, less nice/expensive things get sorted into charity bags.

it's just like anything of this nature, communication is the key.

I thought I was being unreasonable to harbour a bit of a grudge against my SiL as I LENT her mat clothes and my very beautiful, handstiched by me, moses basket.

Never saw them or it again

Gosh, I've never heard of anyone lending baby clothes! If a person is so attached to them or wants to use them for their own subsequent children then don't let them go in the first place.

lending baby clothes is completely unreasonable imo unless its something like a christening robe. just give them or keep them.

I lent out DS's clothes (but I labelled them myself to save the new parent the bother) because I wanted them back for no.2. When I knew DD was to be my last baby I gave everything else away, except some equipment, ie my pram which is now on its 4th child, and I will have that back for my sister to keep at my mum's - if she ever gets around to having children! But Mum and Dad bought us the pram in the first place and will appreciate a spare at theirs.

I don't really see why it's "reasonable" to keep all your baby clothes bagged up in the loft between DC1 and DC2, but "unreasonable" to lend them to someone who could really use them over the same period. Small babies only get to wear most things a few times anyway, so there's plenty of wear left in them.

It is a bit odd to want clothes back not for another DC but so that you can donate them to a specific charity, mind. Although if she's a serious activist for the charity in question then it makes more sense, I suppose.

i dont think it unreasonable to lend if it was stated at the time, if someone else can use while you're not whats the problem. I kept all dds stuff till i found out my 2nd dc was a boy and then gave/sold it all! i did lend some stuff to my auntie in the meantime and got it back, but then had a boy and have given away to somebody else!

I think you are being unreasonable, if my dd1 had outgrown some clothes I would happily lend them to someone who was a bit younger than her, but would like them back for dd2.

my friend lent me first baby clothes, as she went on to have 2 more dc, and knew she probably would. i ironed labels into them, she was very kind.
but ordinarily it seems very petty to want them back to give to a charity of your choice...

I keep things that are special to me and maybe I am mean but I wont lend them to anyone but if I give anything to anyone then I dont expect it back although would probably be a bit if it was later sold

helen, even worse if they try to sell them back to you! Now don't misunderstand, my friend gave the clothes to her friend to do what she wanted with them, but no way was she going to buy back what was originally her own property anyway! It was only babygros and vests etc, not the latest designer gear - my friend just said no thanks and bought new for her third baby.

some people are so cheeky