WIBU to move in with my DParents for a year?

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Title pretty self explanatory
No DC’s as of yet. (Following the struggles we had last year with the pregnancy DP and I are uncertain weather we want to try again or if we would like to adopt/foster)
Anyway DP and I are currently living in rental squalor, shoebox size, damp and falling apart. and my lovely parents (my mother to be exact) have suggested that we go and live at home for a bit, the two of them live with a cat and a dog in a 3 story Victorian townhouse with a loft room too, so there would definitely be room for us! This would allow us to save 70% of our earnings, for about a year. And then either give us the ability to buy the house of our dreams, or buy a roomy flat that would serve us for 5/7 years and definitely would be comfortable for us and a Dc or two and then also get a buy to let. (there’s a massive shortage of private rental properties that allow kids and pets where we live so this would be a good plan imo)

My Aibu is would I be putting them out. Is it U for grown children to move home again?
I would obviously contribute financially and cook and clean etc.

I guess my second question is has anyone done it? What’s it like will it be awful? Any experience shared would help massively

Thanks

DP and I (and 2 year old DD) have just sold our house to someone with no chain who wants to be in ASAP. We hadn’t even started looking for a new home for ourselves because we’d given up hope that we’d ever sell ours, so my parents have kindly offered for us to move in with them. Like yours they have plenty of room (4 bed, 2 living rooms and only themselves and the dog). We jumped at the offer as like you said, we can save most of our earnings and therefore will be in a better position to buy in the near future.

I think there needs to be some boundaries tho, so a good chat with your parents is probably best before you take them up on the offer. I’ve already sat down with my mum to discuss expectations etc so we know what to expect before we move in

If you’re currently living in squalor and there’s an option to live in a nice house with relatives you get on with, what’s the question exactly?

Go.

Multi generational households are perfectly normal in most of the world. MN is that bizarre enclave where it is not.

I think the buy to let thing was probably a poorly thought out idea to try and help sil out (who in the 22 months since Dniece has been born, has been evicted twice first because LL’s sister wanted to buy and second because LLsold without informing her and lived in a b&b) I thought we could support her but buying somewhere we would be unlikely to chuck her out of. But it would certainly inhibit our quality of life?
It’s such a tough all

If we hadn't committed ourselves to a dog i'd definitely be looking in to doing this now. We have rented a flat full of damp and moved into a house full of damp. Replaced lots of furniture after flat cos nackered and now new furniture is going to same way. I would love a damp free house.

At the minute we literally have no chance of buying one and to rent one without damp will probably be an extra 200+ a month we just cant stretch to. Its crap.

Do it definitely! Good luck.

I moved back home with my mum for 4 months while buying a house and having some work done on it.

Never ever ever again. I was 25 at the time, newly single and buying on my own. It was awful. Id moves out at 17 and used to my independence.

It’s hard but if you have a good relationship with your parents and set clear boundaries at the start then it could probably work.

Depends how your relationship is my friend lasted two weeks

Re relationship: dps live a 6:19 second walk away from our current flat (measured it today!) so we see them a lot/ they pop in when out with the dog/ after work/ on the way to the post office/Bank/supermarket every other day ish. So it wouldn’t be a giant shock I hope!!

Do it and buy your 2 bed house. Don’t get two flats. Just think of yourselves for now and your future family.

I did it, I was single but it allowed me to buy a house. Do it!! A year goes by really fast. I was 27.

Do it, but definitely buy a house (not a flat plus BTL!)

Tax and stamp duty changes mean it would be a bad choice for you anyway. But also I think it’s better to own one place you enjoy living in before thinking about investment properties. And houses are more likely to hold their value better and you don’t have to worry about landlords and service charges etc

We did it for about 15 months due to renovations on our house, luckily we all get on very well and my DP is very chilled out, so living with the in laws didn't bother him!

Definitely go for the house though!

Speaking from the other perspective, please do NOT return to recaltricant teenagers if you move back home. Always be aware that, as fully functioning adults, you moving back home should NOT result in any additional workload for your parents, they are, actually, doing something nice for you. My DD1 and fiance moved in fr 6 months and I have no idea what happened (previously good relationship) but, just as an example, I was the only one to clean the bathroom in 6 months. The final straw was when I complained one Saturday that I had to spend an hour cleaning the kitchen (from their crap) before I could make breakfast and got told I 'made them walk on eggshells' all the time. I really didn't, just didn't see why I (working a regular 60 hour week) should have to look after two fully functioning adults as well.

FWIW, they paid £220 a month (for the 2 of them) so that they could save up. I was perfectly happy to have them living there but they took the p**s massively

@hiding I will bear that in mind, but fwiw I think we will be okay? I take their dogs out several times a week, I muck in with the tidying/dishes cat litter/ emptying bins/ taking recycling out/ carting bins up drive/ taking their stuff to the tip (we have a bigger car than dps) if I see something they need help with I’ll jelp. So I hope it won’t feel like that it then but I’ll make a special effort I don’t want them to feel like they’ve got teenagers again!

Do it, but to buy yourself a decent home. For a rental you will likely need 145% of rental income to get a BTL mortgage, as well as pay 2nd home stamp duty, as well as get taxed on rental income, as well as struggle to find a lender who will allow you to let to family. Don't run before you can walk, and pay attention to the fact more landlords than ever are looking to exit the market.

We’ve just handed our notice in on our rental flat!!!!!

they’re not on a water meter, they got a new heating system about eighteen months ago, and that’s lots cheaper, and the council tax is unchanged. There's two possibilities which seem fair to me 1) pay extra costs of your being there 2) split costs (inc council tax, water rates) as if you were a group of house-sharing adults.

It's difficult for DPs to have grown up children living with them - in theory you understand they're now grown-ups, in practice it's hard to stand back while they make mistakes. So if your DPs intrude, stand firm, keep your boundaries - but at the same time remember it's coming from love and care rather than from a desire for control.