Am I being unreasonably sensitive?

[Bonjourmonami73]

Bit of a back story to this but I rent with my DCs but would love to buy a house- just can’t afford to and it really really gets me down.
Went out with very close friend last week who knows how I feel. She has just met a new wealthy partner and they have just bought a very expensive million plus house.
She spent the whole evening going through people we know and talking about how they all have houses and have done very well for themselves. Or talking about her new expensive house and how stressful it is to do up a new house etc. They don’t have kids.
I am happy for her but she know my situation and it would have been good to talk about something else. I came away from the evening feeling so crap about my life in a shitty rented house with no hope of that changing any time soon. The message of the evening seemed to be that only people with house can feel like they are successful.

I know I am probably feeling sensitive but it felt goady and floaty and crap.
Aibu and unreasonably sensitive?

*gloaty not floaty!!!

She bought a new house and she is excited.

Unless she has form for always being selfish/a snob/insensitive I don't think you can blame her for talking about it really.

Just be prepared with other topics of conversation next time you meet up so you can get a word in too.

hope things improve for you soon op.

YANBU. Your feelings are valid. It's one thing to talk about what's happening in her life, it's quite another to go on so much that you are left feeling like this. Distance yourself and consider if the friendship is worth it.

Let me tell you about an old neighbour.
He had 6 top of the range collectable cars , all parked behind the private gates of his fantastic looking house at the edge of our very modest estate.
Me and dh walked past with our dc (many many).
Ds was mesmerised by the cars and the man came over to the gates.

We complimented him on his fleet.

"But you are the rich ones" he said, casting his eyes over the dc.
Don't underestimate what you have already op ...
True story.

Nope YANBU. I was once in a v similar situation, no money, low wage, pregnant, facing redundancy, shitty rented house, crappy area, unemployed DH. And I went out (for a WALK as that was all I could afford) with a friend who knew about my financial situation & she went on & on about money & stuff she had bought for her house & how much her sunglasses cost & why she bought 3 pairs etc.

Eventually I burst into tears (I blame pregnancy hormones). I don’t know that I’d recommend it but it stopped the bragging.

Funnily enough, now that I am out of the shitty financial situation (and my house is better than hers) I don’t see much of her 🤔

It must be hard for you but I do feel for her... She's just very excited I think. It's ok to say to her that you'd prefer not to chat about it too much. She may find it difficult when you talk about DC's as she doesn't have any?

I guess we all have things we want but don't have, be it a house, a baby, a partner, a job etc

(Ps doing up a house is actually hard work!!!)

I think you can be excited about doing up your house Aw without listing everyone who has a house & saying how well they’re doing.

It may well be that she’s jealous of the OP’s kids but if the only way you can make yourself feel better is by putting people down then maybe she’s a bit of a shit person?

Hmmm. Not sure about this one based on a past experience with a lovely friend who’s otherwise always very level headed and happy for others good news. A few years back, ex and I were buying our first house after saving up ruthlessly for years, renting as cheaply as possible and doing bugger all than trying to get on the ladder. She was awful about it when we got there! Snippy, sarky, made me feel like shit about it. Then showed me details for the place they were moving to where the rent was £600 more a month than mine had been or my mortgage would be. We well knew how hard it was to save up while paying rent. We’d cut back on everything to make it happen and didn’t expect praise but also didn’t expect anyone to be shitty about “how lucky” it was.

Your friend is in a different boat if her partner’s wealth is helping her buy somewhere amazing so it’s not a direct comparison. But stress is relative, she’s also got stuff going on even if she has more money than you do.

I was chuckling quietly when my friend was given a bunch of money from a relative and managed to buy a house recently. It was SO stressful, buying was a NIGHTMARE, owning a house was actually very expensive and stressful...

The thing is- a lot of the time I feel ok bout my life- I have a good career too, lots of friends, live in a nice area etc. Housing is my major issue. It was the listing of everyone that upset me the most- because it was all about houses and nothing else and that did feel like a dig.