To lie about my name??

[GetInMyNelly]

I have an abusive ex, who "fb stalks" me.

I resorted to deleting my fb and setting a new one up in a completely different name.

I simply use it for selling sites. No photos or info of me on there.

However, I've set up 2 meetings (babysitting & childminding) with this account.

How do I tell them I'm not "Sarah"??

I don't want to think I come with issues as I don't.

@MarthaArthur thank you, I'm okay. Staying positive and telling myself it's meant to be this way.

I'm just carrying on as normal for my DS & he takes my mind off everything.

There's a woman on our local selling page thats account is in the name of emma, when her name is Sally. She arranges collections from her work, super awkward for folks to go in asking for emma when there isn't one. She says it was a mistake when setting up the account

I think for a chilldminder being honest is the only way.

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat and @GetInMyNelly ... really curious to know what is strange about writing style? I am confused. Sorry, completely off topic!

It wouldn't seem strange to me at all these days - I've just looked through my FB friends, and around 10% use a fake name (in fact it's quite challenging sometimes to figure out who people are when they ask to be friends). So many people want to use FB for selling / events etc, but don't want to be findable either because of exes, or because of work.

I have a similar problem in that my gmail account is in a 'fake' name. It's actually a joke name made up from two book characters, because I can remember it & it wasn't taken. Always causes confusion when I'm trying to share google docs etc & forget to warn people - esp as my regular email address that everyone knows is just my name + workplace.

I just say "Oh my name is actually Bangin, I Facebook under an alias". No one has ever asked for an explanation.

I don't think it's that unusual tbh.I have an account in a name completely different to my real name I just use it to contact services. There is no photo no friends etc No one has ever blinked when I say oh my name is......

I am thinking of setting up a fb in a fake name actually as I've never had it or wanted it but my ds school put ask the pics on there and I can't see them! I really don't want to put my own name and have all the blasts from the past popping up!
Op just explain its fine!

@Iputthescrewinthetuna

I assumed it's because I write as if I'm bullet pointing without the actual bullet points??

Secondly, I love your username!!

I've done it before in a fake name but used that name a hell of a lot and for years. A lot of people know me by that name as well as real name so I couldn't use it again when setting up a new fb.

So do you want them to call you by your real name or fake name?

If fake name just say your official name is xxx but you go by xxx, I do this and just carry on chatting with a shrug and it's never been a big deal.

If you want them to call you real name and want to explain why you used fake name on fb can't you just say you're not into social media that much and get fed up of all the drama that goes with it so use another name and do what you need to do with it.

If they are working for you then the power is on your side and you shouldn't need to explain yourself. If you were minding their children it may possible throw a red flag though

on Facebook you can call yourself what you like. The only thing thst Is forbidden is if you actually pretend to be someone else.
There is nothing stopping you registering with your middle name assusing you have one and your maiden name or even your mum's maiden name

Lots of people use fake names on FB. Just say you do it so you don't have to add your family! Most people won't bat an eye lid at that.

Friends of a friend are both in the police. They use stupid names on FB so no-one can look them up..

A lot of women have trouble shaking off dangerous exes. We read horror stories in the papers on a regular basis. I would be surprised if some childminders did not understand this if you explained. Heck, some of them may have been there themselves!

In today's social media/FB world it's no longer a case of going ex-directory - it's going into "hiding" on all sorts of places.

How about middle name's selling page/childminding.

If anyone asks it is your surname.

Example you're Jessica Alexandra then call yourself Alexandra's childminding.

She’s not a childminder....

I think it might be best to tell the prospective childminder the truth. If your ex is abusive your childminder will need to know the bare bones of the backstory just in case.

I hope I’m not sounding like I’m scare mongering but in that situation if I was minding someone’s DC I’d probably be slightly more aware when I was out in public with the DC.

Does
no
one
read
the
thread?
The
OP
isnt
a
childminder

I have lots of names: a legal one, professional, married, ebay name. I just call myself whichever one is appropriate. Tell her the fb one is your professional/company name to maintain your privacy. Would she need to know about ex stalking you? Does he follow you?

I've got a completely fictious name on fb as do about 90% of my colleagues.

The client group we work with can be somewhat interesting to say the least. I just tell people that I am not Barry the Trucker (for example)

I have a lot of Military FB friends. Almost all of those that are still serving use false names, it is drummed into us at yearly security briefings that it is the safest way to be on FB. Lots then move to real names once they have retired.

I also have a lot of TA and Teacher FB friends, again most have false names so that parents can't find them on FB.

'Something to hide' is bollocks. You are simply more security aware than others.

OP doesn't have a strange writing style!
OP, if you really don't use and don't want to use FB for more than selling, I don't see an issue. Just tell them you used a fake name on FB due to an abusive ex, or if you don't feel comfortable disclosing that, say you're a teacher or HCp or whatever so don't want students/ clients/ patients looking you up. I'm sure they'll understand.
I know a teacher friend who uses first name and mum's maiden name, someone avoiding a stalky ex who swapped his first and last names (works although sounds like he's American and 22 but meh), someone who just uses first and middle names (performer hipster type)...the teacher explains on her profile she's really x and doesn't want kids finding her so people know it's her. There are ways. Or you can make yourself unsearchable I think. Tbh having random people you met briefly ten years ago is crap anyway, and I admire anyone who isn't on FB at all weak

Ooh I forgot the military thing, and I worked for the MOD (as a civilian). Lads joining up were told not to 'check in' or post where they were or sensitive information...slightly worrying that that needed to be said

Ex isn't a threat to anyone, not even myself anymore.

I haven't heard from him in a while, especially since he thinks I've come off Facebook altogether!

I just don't need the hassle so chose to sign up with another name.

One person read my message but didnt reply

The other said it's completely normal and her name isn't actually her name on fb.