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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that my bereaved mother is being taken advantage of?

10 replies

Humansareidiots · 09/06/2018 15:37

Hi all,

Currently in a very stressful position with an exploitative cowboy builder and looking for any advice and help possible.

Some months ago, my vulnerable elderly parents foolishly rushed into a renovation project on a house in London. They hired a builder who made a verbal agreement to perform all the labour and materials for the project for a total sum of £185k which my parents have already paid in full.

A few months down the line, my father passed away (3 weeks ago). My widowed mother has been left to take on the project, but she is completely clueless and susceptible to exploitation. Since the passing of my father, the cowboy builder, is now demanding exorbitantly high amounts of extra money despite having failed to fulfil a bare minimum of what he agreed to within the original £185k budget.

Furthermore, the builder agreed in writing in the initial contract to deal with all planning permission and other administrative matters and costs as part of the fee. However, he has failed to pay for a £1.5k administrative charge from the council and has instead billed it to my mothers address. My mother is now receiving threats and fines from the bailiffs over the unpaid charge and she is scared and fearful about this. This was only discovered by chance as keeping it hidden from my mother.

At every opportunity the builder finds an excuse to demand more money from my bereaved mother whilst threatening to stop work on the house. My mother - who has been a housewife all her life and does not even understand how to perform online banking - is having her vulnerability exploited by this extortionist builder. My mother is also effectively homeless until her house is built - something which the builder knowingly takes advantage of.

Despite all the exploitative cowboy behaviour of this builder my mother feels scared and unable to stand up to him and the situation continues to get worse. I am trying to help my mother but I need help and advice on how to deal with this fraudulent builder.

OP posts:
MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 09/06/2018 15:39

You absolutely have to get a solicitor involved now, regardless of the cost. Otherwise it's going to escalate horribly. I'm so sorry for you and your mum - I hope you get the help you need.

NewYearNewMe18 · 09/06/2018 15:39

Why haven't you called the police ?

Confusedbeetle · 09/06/2018 15:40

She needs a solicitor, urgently

Batinahat · 09/06/2018 15:40

Your local trading standards department may be able to help.or advise. They will be part of the local/borough council

Sunshinegirl82 · 09/06/2018 16:00

I'm really sorry about your dad. I lost my dad in April, it's hard.

I think I would call the council and ask to speak to the safeguarding team and trading standards. I would seek advice from the police on the non emergency number and I would get down there myself as much as possible. Can your mum come and stay with you for now until you get things sorted? Then the builder can't get access to her.

I'd also speak to a solicitor but if your mum has capacity then you'll need to get her on board. Good luck.

Merryoldgoat · 09/06/2018 16:27

£185k up front? Shock

OP - so sorry you’re going through this. You need proper legal advice and trading standards for sure but I suspect he’s spent your parents’ money and will be declaring himself insolvent in the near future so prepare yourself for a long and nasty battle Flowers

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 09/06/2018 16:45

What Merry old Goat says.

I very much doubt your poor mum is the first elderly person this nasty cunting has taken advantage of.

Sorry for your loss btw. Flowers

babydreamer1 · 09/06/2018 17:11

It was a scam from the minute they requested payment up front. No reputable builder would have asked for that. You need to take legal advice immediately, you have a written contract so your in a good position. Make sure you personally attend every meeting and record all conversations and calls (tell them your doing so) most importantly do not pay another penny . Go to the council with your contract and receipt to demonstrate you have paid the fee to your builder who has failed to pay it, they should be helpful and understanding whilst you seek legal advice.

Humansareidiots · 09/06/2018 19:52

Oh dear it’s just as I imagined and worse.
My head is all in a spin, esp considering I’m very much in the raw grieving state as are all my siblings who want to help too.

He initially was asking 27k but then that became £85k and now he says it’s open until he finishes and really it’s upwards of 85k

He won over my mother because he is of Asian heritage like us and said he would treat her like a mother, and that she should trust him like a son.

It makes me sick on the levels he is abusing her trust. Sad

OP posts:
greendale17 · 09/06/2018 19:53

You need to get the police and a solicitor involved ASAP.

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