AIBU - or AIB an unwitting CF over parking?

[Glittertrauma]

Hello MN-ers

Being an an avid reader of CFN threads, I thought I would post my dilemma here and try to get some advice to avoid unwittingly becoming one myself!

Bit of a long read, but I want to be clear.

So our house is in a situation that many of you may have- on a street of Victorian semis built before people had cars/driveways.

Our house has a driveway leading to a garage, down the side of the house , and this is a shared driveway. It belongs to our house legally, but obviously the deeds specify that we have to allow access for the neighbours next door. A previous owner of our house built a garage at the end of the driveway, sort of behind the house. At one point, it would have been possible to drive down the driveway to the garage, but both houses have since been extended slightly to the side before our time, so the driveway is now too narrow to get a car down. So it’s basically just for storage.

Our next door neighbours have a slightly deeper area in front of the house (the street curves) and have also removed part of a stone wall so they can park in front of their house.

When we first moved in four years ago, the on street parking wasn’t too much of an issue, but over the last year it has steadily gotten worse. A couple of elderly neighbours passed away or moved out and younger couples moved in, most bringing two cars. We also had a large house opposite convert into offices with no parking, which brings more cars onto the road during the day. A few of our neighbours have three cars. We only have one at the moment - if everyone only had one, and parked outside their own house, it would be fine space wise, but I appreciate that isn’t the reality for most people.

We can actually park our car on the driveway at the side of the house, leaving a gap large enough for a person to walk through or get wheelie bins and bikes up and down the drive. When we do this, next door can also get their car in and out without us moving. Occasionally if there aren’t any spaces, I’ll park there and next door never have a problem with it.

However, lately it seems to be happening more and more that there are no spaces. As I have a toddler and am 8 months pregnant I don’t like to be parked really far away. I would like to use the drive more, although if there are spaces outside on the street of course I’d choose there first.

Next door never complain, but we have a good relationship with them and I don’t want to be secretly annoying them if I’m parked there. It is a bit of a squeeze and because we haven’t set a habit of parking there, it feels a bit CF to me even though they have said it’s not a problem. I would dread to think that I’m being a CF without realising.

I think other people may have just started parking there from day one, so I’m curious to see what people think - AIBU or would you be using the driveway?

You're over thinking this. Your neighbours say they don't mind, it doesn't stop their access, and it's your own driveway. Of course you should park there

Diagram needed I’m afraid. Finding this hard to visualise.

I think it’s fine. They only need access, which they’ve got. They don’t need to drive along it as there’s nowhere to go, and you’ve left enough room for them to walk past. Have I understood right?

You have a driveway and you are parking on the road? Why?
I don't get it.

If you have a good relationship just talk to them

You are madly over thinking this. When you park on the driveway your neighbours can still get in and out. They have even told you it's fine. Why on earth would you then choose to park on the road and - in a sense - contribute to the parking issues there are on the street?

Diagram, excuse my rubbish drawing. The dimensions are a little off on my drawing - it looks as if we could park directly in front of the house like next door do, but we can't as our house is a little closer to the road so the front area is narrower than next door, and or stone wall extends further.

We have thought about removing half of the wall to park in front of the house but I'm not sure it would fit and don't want to remove it to find it's still too narrow!

You don't need to though. You have somewhere to park. What am I missing here?! Why are you making this so complicated?

Oh I should also add that when the street is busy, they sometimes park one of their other cars across the driveway entrance.
Which is fine when they are only blocking themselves in, but if we're on the drive too this would make it harder.

I think I mainly feel awkward about it because the gap it leaves to get down the side of the house is quite narrow and they go up and down a lot with dogs, bikes etc. It makes it a bit of a squeeze if I leave our car there, so I'd worry about that. I always feel like I have to apologise if I park there!

It's your land. You own it, you can park on it. They have access rights, but that doesn't mean they can park there.

I would park there. You've gave them access to your drive so the can walk on it/move bins etc or was the access also specifically for their car even though they can't really go anywhere on it apart from them unloading their car and then moving it?

I don't know,what does Abraham Lincoln think?

(Or possibly Brunel?)

What's the nature of the neighbour's right of way? That's the starting point to what you can legally do, then figure out whether you'd like to do all that you can legally do. Eg. if you did this, where would the neighbour park their second car, and how inconvenient would this be for them?

I assume the driveway narrows from extensions, which is why you can't get your car all the way down?

You are overthinking this, your neighbours are nice, they still have access for bins/bikes and so what if they block the end of the drive occasionally, its a bit of give and take. Occasional mild inconvienience between neighbours is to be expected when parking is at a premium, you both seem to have found a solution!

Ok so just to be clear -

• all of the driveway is owned by you (in your deeds) but with a right of access for them to get to the back of their house ?

• is there a dropped kerb via which you and they access your off street parking ? (It looks as though their removal of part of their wall may be an unofficial off street parking space rather than an official one - ?)

• where is their front door? Do they use the side passage access often other than for the bins? Is it how they get into and out of their house, by going round the back ?

• re: the space outside the front of their house where they park - is it on the street or on their land ?

Oh and if it’s a squeeze for them to get past when you’re parked on the side passage, couldn’t they move their bins to either the front or back garden to make more space for themselves ?

In summary, you want to know if it's cheeky to park on your own drive? No it's not.

@JennyHolzersGhost

Yes you're right, the land at the side belongs to our house. They have access rights so they can reach their back garden without going through the house. I know when they extended their house a little into the side return that they had to make a legal request to the owner of this house as that was in all the documents when we bought the place.

There is a dropped curb, running the whole width of the driveway, so it was presumably done properly and intended to be used as a drive (perhaps when the garage was built? Not sure).

They go in and out of their house via the front door, which would be to the left of where their car is shown parked. Neither their car nor ours would prevent this. However they do use their garden and side entrance quite a lot - they do a lot of DIY and often want to get materials up and down to go round the back, which would be hard if we parked there.

The space outside where they park is their own land, they have removed part of a stone wall at some point and shortened it it get in and out. Ours is still the original length. I often think about removing part of ours, but we have a narrower space at the front (although the wall is at least 2ft deep) so I don't know if it would still be too narrow to park there without overhanging the pavement.

I suppose they could move their bins further down the side return, ours are further down.

I guess my reluctance is all to do with the fact they were there first and they are used to unimpeded access. We haven't ever parked there really so it feels like we're inconveniencing them now if we start. But when we moved in, the on street was generally a bit better, it can be quite hard now. Also when we moved in I didn't have a toddler and a baby to try and get in and out of the car safely, so I was less bothered if I had to park further away.

I just feel like I have to a) apologise and b) move it as soon as possible if I do park there. And as I said they often park across the drive as they have three cars and space on the street can be tight.

In the kindest possible way OP, I think it would be good if you could examine more closely your feelings of anxiety around this.
You are prepared to inconvenience yourself massively instead of inconveniencing them ever so slightly, and you yourself have pointed out every fair and sensible rational justification of why you have every right to do so.
You do not need to feel guilty and apologetic for asserting your own reasonable needs. You are allowed to place at least equal value on your needs as you do on other people's needs.
Challenge the thoughts which say that you are in the wrong for choosing to award primacy to your own needs and feelings.
Park and - literally - feel free!

I don't know,what does Abraham Lincoln think?

(Or possibly Brunel?)

thecats LOL is an overused phrase but that made me laugh out loud!

What you're doing is totally fine and actually I think you should always park in your drive to free up an on street space since it's so busy.

Yes ^ this!
Bloody hate the people on our street who don’t use their own driveways and make it harder to get an on-street spot.

Park on your own drive, it's your land. Neither of you can get a car down side of house - as both houses extended with planning permission after right of access was given, so I suspect that has changed things somewhat.

But by all means say to friendly neighbours that if they need to use your side to move larger stuff like DIY stuff down on occasion, yo just give you a shout and you can move your car out temporarily so they can do so . Try generally to leave enough room that bikes & bins can fit past your car.

Voilà.... problem solved! Everybody stays considerate.
And it is your land.
Sounds like you might be overthinking it.

But it is lovely that you are so considerate. You sound like fab neighbours OP