I have had an on and off entanglement with someone I work with. I have posted fairly recently about it. It's over now and "fine" in the sense that there's no professional issues we can't work around and we are cordial at work. But it has been made very clear to me by him that I am no longer considered a friend, no longer trusted and no longer welcome to socialise with him outside of a few very controlled and formal work situations.
I got very close to leaving my job recently, in part because I was tired of all this and tired of being made to feel isolated as a result of this. There are social things at work from time to time and the people in the company get on quite well and I have friends there. He has made it subtly but unmistakeably clear that I am not welcome to associate with him outside work. I think people feel they have to choose between me and him, it is certainly very difficult for us to socialise together other than in formal groups. I very nearly left because of this because I found it upsetting and have decided I could be big enough to get past him because I am otherwise happy where I am and don't want to leave.
It makes me quite sad and a little bit angry that this is still an issue and I don't understand why he still needs to create this big distance. For context, there was no big split or drama, it was a series of low-level flings, extremely casual, neither of us was in a relationship and no commitments were made or hearts broken. It was probably but it was rescued before it went too far and I assumed no harm had been done. Nobody has behaved badly, aside from the occasional bit of sniping. I would expect some awkwardness for a while but I don't see why we now have to have this big social gulf. Enough water has passed under the bridge for it not to matter now, or so I thought.
Should I talk to him about it? I would really like to be able to get back to a normal, casually friendly working relationship and feel that it is possible to socialise occasionally in a comfortable way without this tedious need to make sure we don't arrive in the same places at the same times. I also think it would be in the best interest of our colleagues. But by the same token I am not going to push someone who has made it clear that they are no longer comfortable with me into accepting me. Should I just let sleeping dogs lie and accept that we won't get past it?