Insensitive people

[backwardsbaseballcap]

I was adopted as a baby by my parents. I always knew from a young age my parents handled it brilliantly. It's never bothered me and I have a great life as a result.

What bothers me is, when people find out, they always ask insensitive (imo) questions.
Examples - "are you going to find your REAL parents/Mum?" - Errrr no my mum is my Mum.
"Do you know why?" Well no I didn't ask.
I've always been treated the same as my older brother, even to the point where my mum has been asked (for various reasons - usually medical) how many children she has had and instantly replies "2" then has to correct herself.

AIBU in thinking some people are so insensitive and need to work on their question asking skills?!

I’m an adoptee and I fucking loathe “real” Mum and Dad, absolutely loathe it.

My REAL mum and dad are the ones who raised me, loved me, wiped my arse, fed, clothed and supported me.

I have a biological/birth mother who was brave enough to give me up, but no desire to meet her in a maternal role. My Mum was my Mum, nothing and nobody changes that.

My sperm donor was just that.

I’m sorry you’ve faced such insensitive and twatty comments too OP.

YANBU at all.

I'm sure it's thoughtlessness rather than intentional dickishness but that's not the point.

If people engaged their brains they would avoid sounding like wankers.

I'm sorry you've had people be so hurtful. Glad to hear your Mum and Dad are wonderful parents.

Some people need to work on their NOT asking question skills!

Just say, ‘It’s amazing you think that’s any of your business’.

Or, “I can’t believe you asked me that, you must be so embarrassed.’ With a smile.

I don't like the word real in that context either. But life is a learning curve so just correct them, something like "Maybe, but my real mum is my mum who brought me up". It might stop them being so insensitive wih anyone else.

Executive I see where you’re coming from, but when you’ve been hit with that question regularly for over 30 years it gets a bit wearing trying to educate.

I always answer with something along the lines of "don't want to/don't need to, I've got parents" to be fair, I think I'm relatively laid back about it all. I don't mind people asking questions, not at all, just tactfully would be nice. Usually I just cringe a little and answer them and it's done