25 and no future prospects

[4teenytotz]

So I’m 25 and all I’ve ever known since 16 is how to be a mum/Wife. I got married at 18 and now at 25 have 4 children all with my husband I Might add . I realise this was my choice but I can’t help but feel slight regret I love my husband and children but they all depend on me to do everything cook clean bathtime toilet time find clothes for them everything and I just feel like the real me is diminishing I don’t feel happy anymore I sometimes wish I was more sensible when I

I know it seems hard now but once your kids are less dependant on you- you'll still be relatively young and have your whole life ahead of you to start a career and you won't have to worry about starting a family like so many career women do in their older years

How old are they op?

So you are raising four kids who are approx. 2, 4, 6 and 8 and you are still sane enough to type in whole sentences?!

You are acquiring a whole load of transferable skills - people skills, ability to prioritise and multi task . . .

Think about what field you would like to work in, once your kids are older and once they are at school start looking at distance learning/volunteering - even just an hour or two here and there. And remember that you will have so much more to offer than someone who is straight from school and hasn't coped with a fraction of what you have, on a day to day basis.

(I used to work with someone who had six kids. Nothing ever phased her. Been there, seen that, done that, dozens of times over!)

Do you have qualifications? Can you go back to nightschool?

How about volunteering?

Start planning for when your children are more self reliant, think about what you want to do.

You are still very young and by 30 you should have plenty of time to retrain and start a new career, if not before.

What would you like to do?

Figure out what you want to do. Save up for the correct courses/uni/college. Then anytime you have any free time even an hour a week try volunteer in that field if you can. Its doable op.

It's all about the planning, OP! First of all, work out what you want to do or what you want to be. Then research what you need to do to get there/qualify. Then research how you, in your particular set of circumstances, can get there. If it's impossible, then move to your next preference and repeat the research cycle.

I've seen some of my friends, who have been in a similar position to you, set their eyes on the prize and get there. They are PHENOMENAL women as it took so much work for a prolonged period of time. I don't think I could have done it, but have at times supported them along the way. So don't be ashamed to ask friends and family for support during the journey, if you can.

What's your ideal? What do you want to do?

I’m 25, I have two children, and although it’s not what you was asking, I have to say I take my hat off to you for coping with 4, because I couldn’t!!! Sometimes I wish I had a Harry Potter style cupboard under the stairs I could lock myself in for some peace... you’re acquiring loads of skills, there’s things you could do online maybe, your children will not be so dependant on you forever, and some Surestarts do courses with a crèche place available, if there’s one close to you it’s worth looking into just to get you out there a bit? I did paediatric first aid, peri-natal mental health befriending(which then allowed me to go volunteer with people with PND), and a few others.

25 is very young OP ! But I wouldn’t let your age delay you, as life goes by so fast !

Have a plan, set a goal, move towards the goal.

Start planning for when your children are more self reliant

No, I wouldn’t wait till then. Plan now OP.

Wow well I'm in awe of you OP. Echoing others - start planning. You have many productive years ahead of you. If it's qualifications you need start sorting that.
You sound very together to me.
Good luck!

it's done. Remember that anything old enough to toddle is old enough to put stuff away. Do not be a slave or a martyr. Start them with life skills for their ages and make it clear that everyone pulls their weight.

including husband.

Not giving that is what I said.

I’m guessing you don’t have any qualifications post-GCSE or A Level - that HAS to be your priority. Whether it’s an NVQ or a full degree, your worldview and prospects will reall open up.

And get some volunteering experience so you have more to put on a CV - although, as a poster said above, you probably have very good time management etc, potential employers will be looking for something more concrete.

Read how to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. It will help you with the identifying and planning that all the pther pps are talking about.