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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a cleaner?

37 replies

BlueTrousers · 08/06/2018 10:19

We have 4DC including a crazy toddler and a newborn, and a dog, DP works long hours during the week and every other Sunday too

I struggle to keep on top of the housework already and we’ve just added a third floor to the house and I just know I’m not going to be able to keep up with the extra work
So we’ve been thinking of getting a cleaner in a few hours a week

I mentioned this in passing to a group of people who were all shocked and said they could never have a cleaner as they’d all feel too guilty and one of them actually said “I just think it’s a good Mums job to keep her babies house clean” - basically calling me a bad Mum!

So AIBU to hire a cleaner?
Do people really think like this in real life? I don’t want people to think im copping out of parenting duties

OP posts:

LightDrizzle · 08/06/2018 11:58

I have had a cleaner for 10 years. I love, love, love it!
I would cut costs on clothing and eating out before considering cutting the cleaner. It is wonderful!
Cleaners are professional, they do the job more efficiently than you and they get paid, good news all round.
I don’t like cleaning, time is precious.

LightDrizzle · 08/06/2018 12:04

God! Your friend is a silly twat. He next time she makes a jaw-dropping comment like that, suggest she takes herself back to the 1950s. As if your baby gives a flying fuck as to who is hoovering the stairs! Conversely having a mum and dad with more time and energy to interact could be material.
If she gets off on “doing it all” and with a smile on her face, she can crack on. On my death bed I won’t be fretting about the cumulative days of housework I outsourced.

Original poster

BlueTrousers · 08/06/2018 14:50

They’re not really friends, they’re people I talk to at toddler group, I won’t be speaking to them so much in future, their comments upset me tbh

I feel like since I had a 4th DC I have to justify myself a lot more than before and I’m always being asked how I ‘cope’ and people saying how they couldn’t do it, so if ever I drop the ball and say we’re late for school for example I feel like people are looking and saying ‘why have another baby when you can’t even get the others to school on time’ so I feel like now when people ask me how I manage they’ll be thinking ‘well she obviously can’t manage she’s had to get a cleaner’
Which I know doesn’t matter and I need to worry less about what people think but it’s hard isn’t it, maybe I’m too insecure

Thankyou for all the practical tips on cleaners too, I need to have s think about what in particular I would want them to do and see if the times reasonable
I was thinking all the dusting, clean bathroom, clean kitchen worktops and cupboard fronts and hoover & moo or steam all the floors would take roughly 3 hours? (3 floors, 1 bathroom, 2 reception rooms downstairs and 4 bedrooms) Does that sound right or am I way off?

OP posts:

AmyLou14 · 08/06/2018 15:27

My sister is a SAHM with 2 kids, she got a cleaner last week - 2 bed flat. The same girl starts in my house next week, currently offf work LTS and expecting first child. That’s how much my sisters life has changed and how she has raves about it, in one week. MIL laughed when I told her, but her house is grimey as hell so what does she even know!

2good · 08/06/2018 15:32

Oh my god yanbu at all! I was considering getting one after the 2nd child, and see nothing wrong with that. The less time cleaning, the more time you get to spend with the kids 😊. Don't mind that group - they sound like idiots!

Bluntness100 · 08/06/2018 15:34

“I just think it’s a good Mums job to keep her babies house clean”

You tell her to crack on then. 🤣

I've had a cleaner since I was 23. Five years before my daughter was born and 26 years ago now. If she thinks cleaning makes her a good mum tell her to fill her boots and enjoy every minute of it.

Then you get your cleaner.

Coffeist · 08/06/2018 15:45

I had a cleaner already when I was living on my own. For a while, when we first moved in with DP, we didn't have one but when he got a new job that was longer hours, I agreed to it if we got a cleaner. Now I think he enjoys it (not having to do cleaning) as well. We don't have any children. I think most of my friends, at least the ones that have children, have cleaners as well. Unless you really really like cleaning, get one!

TroubledLichen · 08/06/2018 15:46

We have a once a week cleaner, the mid-week cleaning is done by a robo vaccum, it’s a 2 bed flat and we have 1 child that I’m at home with whilst I wait for a work permit. I do part time voluntary work whilst DD goes to day care one day a week though.

I don’t like cleaning, I don’t want to do it and can afford not to so why would I. If you can afford it definitely do it, you won’t regret it.

Your ‘friends’ sound jealous, they’d probably love a cleaner but can’t afford one. Scrubbing the loo yourself or paying someone else to it has nothing to do with whether or not you’re a good parent.

RhubarbRhubarbRhubarbRhubarb · 08/06/2018 15:49

Holy fuck! I must be a terrible mother, because I HATE cleaning. Did not get the memo about that one...

Yanbu, but, be warned that if your dcs are anything like mine, your house may not stay clean for long and you’ll end up doing a lot of it yourself anyway, unless you can afford for someone to come a couple of times a week and / or you’re not in the house very much. Mine are a baby and preschooler, so we’re in the house a lot. It gets untidy very quickly, so it actually wasn’t worth us keeping our cleaner on. I just do it myself as and when.

Original poster

BlueTrousers · 08/06/2018 16:44

Ah you’re all making me feel much better about it
And YY to people saying having a cleaner will lead to me having more time with the kids, so s slight better Mum if anything!

Rhubarb I’m not so bothered if it gets untidy again, all the kids stuff is tidied away and dishwasher done, washing in baskets etc done each day, but because I have so many small jobs I never get round to the bigger jobs like dusting and floors, so I thought I was just being practical by outsourcing those

OP posts:

SandAndSea · 08/06/2018 17:27

I've had a few cleaners and I wouldn't personally have one for more than 2 hours at a time. The reason is that it's pretty hard, physical work and it can also be quite tedious. I think it's a bit much to expect someone to keep going to a high standard for more than 2 hours.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 08/06/2018 17:32

They’re probably jealous. Having a cleaner is fucking amazing. There’s still plenty of day to day jobs but I’m not stressing about mopping the floor or scrubbing the bathrooms on top of it all

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