To ask what order of events for 6yo ASD birthday party?

[TheMShip]

Collective wisdom needed here. My oldest DS has turned 6 today. He has HF ASD. This is the first year he has wanted a birthday party with friends. I've invited 3 school friends and their siblings and parents to come after school today for 2 hours; DS can handle up to 3 hours on a playdate and I wanted to play it safe. I've got pizza, crisps, strawberries, fruit shoots, cake, and ice cream. Checked with parents re: allergies/intolerances. Party bags are a few sweets, bubbles, small toy.

My AIBU relates to what order to do things in. I have never done one of these before, and DS has never made it through more than the first 20 minutes of anyone else's party (all whole class events, understandably overwhelming for him). I know food first as they're coming straight from school at noon, but what after that? I haven't planned any games, the kids usually just tear around the garden together when we've had one or two for playdates. So. Does cake come before presents? When do I give out the party bags?

Party bags are usually handed out at the end of the party - so everyone knows it’s time to go home! I would do opening presents after everyone’s gone - DS2 is undergoing add assessment and finds having an audience for things like that overwhelming, he starts shouting that he hates presents even though he actually loves what he’s getting, then says thankyou after a while.

I also think that you may need a few games for them. One ir two kids tearing about the garden is fine but a small group of them and it can start to get a bit chaotic!

I don't think the order matters too much as long as you tell him in advance what the order is. Will he remember? He could help you write the schedule. Then stick to it.
Party bags at the end. Make sure he gets one too.
Generally, play , food, play, cake and singing, play, party bag and home. But as you said, food first is fine if they are starving from school.
Never open presents at the party, they should be put away on arrival, otherwise it either takes over the party or people get upset they can't play them

I'd do:

Pizza + crisps
run around garden

have a couple of games planned if needed. if they are having fun, there is no need to impose the games but a bit of structured activity can be helpful. Does your DS know the rules of these games? If not, best tell him the rules in advance or even have a practice so he feels confident.

• pass the parcel
• grandmother's footsteps (very popular, can be renamed to your favourite superhero)
• follow the leader
• sleeping lions
• obstacle course (if possible in your garden)

When they are tired from the running around, then do the cake & fruit & puddings.

then a bit more running around until the end.

party bags should only be given out as the child walks out of the door at the end. they are a bribe to make kids go home without a fuss.

And finally 😂 I’d do the blowing out the candles when they’ve finished eating but still sat, or you’ll be chasing kids about trying to get them all together again. That way you get plenty of time to cut cake and put bits in party bags.

Food, blow out candles and either serve cake for pudding or wrap up to take home. Outdoor play or games - maybe a couple of outdoor activities if they’re all likely to be running wild? Piñata, treasure hunt where they just have to find all of the pieces of card to make a picture of their prize, give them a load of giant balloons to chuck about. Party bags as they go home.

Definitely presents when everyone has gone home.

I'd let them 'free play' until it looks like they can't cope, then have some more calming games/activities up your sleeve.

Does your DS have any 'expectations' you will need to meet or manage?

Calmish games/activities

• sleeping lions
• pass the parcel
• biscuit decorating (plain digestive + squeezy icing + decorations)
• hat / mask decoration (if done early can we worn throughout)

Will you need to have 'everyone is a winner' type things in case 'not winning' is too much? So a treasure hunt for things hidden around the garden? We used to do 'hunt the straws'. Then when all found everyone gets a cheer/prize/sticker?

Often you open presents after everyone has gone home. Stops others wanting to play with them, and the 'I've already got that' comments upsetting friends.

A bubble machine or small pots of bubbles might be good.

Oh my, you are all brilliant. I never thought of waiting on present opening till afterwards. I am going to extract the bubble pots from the party bags and hand them out for garden playtime. I also have a big container of bubble mix to top up any spills. We have a kid height basketball hoop in the garden and I have a bag of lollipops, will do a lollipop for every kid who can get the ball in (with help if needed).

Right, we will do food, free play/bubbles/basketball prize game, a calm down game, then cake & ice cream, party bags and out the door. That should be enough to cover from 12:15-2pm. DS can open his presents later, and we'll probably watch a movie just me, him, and preschooler DD before tea. Thank you so much everyone. I'll pop back on later this afternoon to let you know how it's gone.

Thank you everyone! It went very well. My kids are watching a movie now and decompressing. Still haven't opened the party presents .

Do not I repeat put the venue address on the envelopes it stops people who haven’t RSVP just popping in

And you may have to say that sibling will not be able to stay if your haveing a dump and run party

People are so fecking cheeky

Glad it went well.
It won't harm if presents wait until some time over the weekend.

Glad to hear it all went well - he’ll have a lovely time opening the present at leisure - mine always want to olay with everything straight away so present opening can take some time!!