to get sex elsewhere but stay in my sexless marriage?

[Serendipite]

Sex aside, my DH is perfect. Handsome, intelligent, responsible, caring, affectionate. You name it, he has it.

He just does not have a libido. Probably combination of psych meds (he's been in remission for over a decade) plus family trauma (parents).

I don't want to leave him. He was my first and only boyfriend.

But I want to have sex. I have never had PIV. I'm nearing 40.

I don't think counselling will help him. I don't think he's gay. He's just asexual. But I am not.

What you do in your relationship is up to you.

If he agrees to this, crack on.

However, don't do it behind his back. Open relationships are based on trust. Sneaking around, isn't right.

YANBU - but be prepared that it may lead elsewhere than you anticipated.

I think if you're honest with your DH and have his blessing and make sure you follow ground rules you are both happy with, it's up to you what you do. But I think there is a risk that by having sex with someone else you run the risk of developing feelings for someone other than your husband. It isn't always easy to keep sex and love separate. That might be ok too and make you happy in the long run - just something to be aware of!

Sorry OP, it's not at all an easy situation for you

I don't know the answer but whatever it is you need to go through with your husband cool, calmly and without any resentment or frustration. Perhaps over many weeks to get out what you both need and resolve it.

Good luck