To expect dp to look after the dc.

[NickyNora]

I had an op on my eye 2-weeks ago. I've developed an infection. Yesterday, I couldn't see propley or tolerate any light. It got so bad I ended up going to A&E.
I've fell ill.
The pain makes me cry...

I told dp I was going to A&E after I put dc to bed. He didnt respond just got in the bath.

I've slept most of today. I'm on antibiotics, antibiotic eye drops & saline drops, moisture restoring eye drops & a night time eye ointment.

As hes getting into bed, he says he's going to work tomorrow. I can't drive so 1 of the dc won't be able to go school.

AIBU to expect him to look after his own dc?
House is 💩 hole.
He didn't even offer me a drink til this evening.

I've lost all perspective

of course YANBU!

He needs to let you recover. His dc too.

Its his total lack of care for the dc or me that hurts...

He clearly doesn't care.

I assume his lack of concern isn't new. Why are you still with him?

You are not being unreasonable, he is being an a”se

Is there anybody else you can call on for the support you very clearly need? Sorry to hear you are in this situation. He sounds incredibly selfish...

Hope you got sorted op?

No there's no-one that can help.
I grew up here & all my family have moved away.

Why do i put up with it?

Fear, Money, 2 dc with SN. Universal Credit. Social isolation. Inability to work due to Dc needs. No support network. No childcare available for dc with SN & now ill health...
Those sorts of reasons.

He says it just one day that dd will kids-schools. Other 2 are picked up by transport.
Have a meeting today too at dc school but will have to cancel as i can't see clearly enough to drive.

Just need to find a way out

Yanbu he’s being an idiot. You might need to ask him to do the things the need him to do though, if he is incapable of knowing for himself xx

Has he always been an arse or was it when you got to 3 kids you realised?

Thanks Gin

In the last few years.
Ok for about 15 years.

Tell him he needs to do it your not prepared to put your health at risk, see what happens, I mean it couldn't get any worse right?

Sorry to be blunt but there's your answer.

Where's my answer Gin?

I did BlueSapp

He does sound incredibly selfish. Could he not have taken you to A&E and then gone home and put the kids to bed? He should at the very least show some concern. What was he like when you had the eye op?

If he is always used to you doing everything at home you may have to tell him what needs doing. ATM the house is the least of your concerns. Make sure you do everything you have been told to do for your eye infection as a priority. Even DC missing school isn’t as important as that. Does DH realise that there can be a risk of losing an eye if the infection isn’t successfully treated?

You said you grew up where you live, do you have old friends, mum friends or neighbours who can help out? Is there any other way of getting DC to and from school? Try speaking to school about it, they may offer a solution.

I don’t know if you can afford DH to have unpaid parental leave or what type of job he has. Is there a chance of flexibility for him to change his hours, work from home or swap a shift?