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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bride and Predjudice

31 replies

Puffycat · 07/06/2018 23:20

Oh MN! I’ve just started watching this prog and I really need some perception put on this!
If my DD wanted to marry someone of the same sex, trans, a different religion, culture or colour, as long as she was happy and her chosen partner was a good person who loved my DD.........you have my blessing!
BUT I, as a mum, I really can’t get my head around her marrying a guy 35 yrs her senior!
AIBU?

OP posts:
PodgeBod · 08/06/2018 23:28

I've just found this on catch up and I'm going to give it a watch. I'll hold my hands up, I would be quite upset if one of my DDs got with a man who was a lot older as I would worry that he would use his experience to control her. My own OH is 8 years older then me but I feel that's my upper limit, I don't think I could do more then 10 years difference.
I think it's very creepy.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/06/2018 23:35

Ok so what are people's biggest age gap relationships?
Mine was 15 years, I was 24, he was 39. They're was probably a power imbalance in a way but would there be now at 36 and 51? No, so I wonder where that line is.
Having said that re power imbalance, I def pushed more for a relationship with him, he was far more worried about having one

HelenaDove · 08/06/2018 23:41

Podge my DH is the least controlling person i have ever met. If i tell him im going out somewhere or doing something i just get "ok have a nice time"

I ask if he wants me to text him and let him know if im going to be late

"no stop worrying"

The only reason i do this rarely is because hes in poor health There is not anything controlling about him.

When we watch something on TV that has a controlling person in it we both think "how stifling"

Puffycat · 09/06/2018 00:02

It’s not control, you could get that in any relationship regardless of age. My DH is 13 yrs older than me, my dad was 8 yrs older than my mum, and I know that there’s a big difference between 15 & 30 and 25 & 40........but.......I really would find it difficult if it was MY daughter with someone THIRTY FIVE years older.
There, I’ve said it

OP posts:
PodgeBod · 09/06/2018 00:03

Helena I don't think that every age gap relationship is controlling but if it were one of my daughter's I know I would worry about it all of the time. Of course if that happens I will have to deal with it but hopefully it won't come up.
I'm glad it has worked out with you and your OH, though.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/06/2018 00:23

Thing is its like the widow, career thing. Many people are controlling and abusive with no correlation to age.

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