to want to cut contact with my sister.

[AmberCurtain]

She's toxic. When I see my phone ringing and it's her I feel sick. She is a complete bully. She tries to manipulate my time, control me. I'm sick of it. The other day I mentioned I was getting a gardener in to help me with my garden and she insinuated that I was being lazy.
she hounds me day and night even when I'm at work with texts and phone calls.
Shes so manipulative and I have absolutely no tolerance for her any more so snap at her all the time, she still hounds me.
She can't grasp that I like spending time alone or that my kids are happy to chill out at home when her kids are demanding to go out.
I feel like I'm going to explode from it all!

She sounds like hard work. You don’t have to justify your life to anybody.
Be yourself.

Go low communication? Block her on your phone? I know that feeling when you feel hot cold sick sweaty and dizzy just seeing the name.

I have been n c with my sister for 12 yrs. Best thing I did everything I had she wanted by taking over and squeezing me out. She's 10yrs older than me and has treated me horribly my whole life. She hasn't met my 4 youngest children and they don't know of her. Get on with your family life and put her to the back of your mind.

It upsets my mum that we don't get on but her behaviour is beginning to have an impact on my health.....she stresses me out so much.

She keeps trying to make me spend money when I don't have it. I'm exhausted by her behaviour :-(

blueeyedbengal the only problem is of I refuse to see her she wont let me see her kids.
She will speak to mine on the phone and say to them "awww I really miss you, you want to come and sleep at mine this weekend don't you" this plan includes me too......I don't want to stay at hers.....then the kids are cross with me and I'm the bad guy.

Google the grey rock technique and ignore the madness, OP.

If she is being nanipulativw and using your children as weapons then you absolutely need to take a step back and tell your mum why. She will be upset but what does she value more: a toxic fake relationship between her daughters with one becoming ill from it, or honesty from her daughter and good mental health?

Either block her on your phone or ignore the phone calls/text. It really is that simply!

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Send one text telling her how fed up you are with her behaviour and that you are not going to respond further, then block her.
If your mum wails on her behalf block her too. Life is far too short and stressful to tolerate this shitshow on top.

I don’t know . It sounds like she love you and the kids and wants to spend time together. Surely that’s a nice thing. If it too much for you ask her not to contact you so much.

From what you have said your sister doesn't seem bad. Joking about the gardener is hardly a big issue. And inviting you out doesn't seem bad either.

Your kids like her and you want to see her kids so why not have a regular catch up at a park once a week/fortnight and not bother too much in between.

if my sister refused to see me I don't know how she would manage to see my kids?

Also would she get to see your kids if you don't see her?

Have you thought about taking an assertiveness course?

You need to set boundaries and not give in to emotional blackmail. It doesn’t have to be doing what she says or not seeing her or her kids as the two alternatives. You need to learn to say no to her and feel good about doing it. And not respond emotionally to her blackmail.