To be open about having hot flushes

[Bishybarnybee]

Mid 50s and having daily hot flushes. Sometimes just getting hot and red in the face, but sometimes literally dripping with sweat. I'm getting pretty used to it.... dab with paper towels, fan with whatever comes to hand,wait for it to pass. In some ways it's not that big a deal, it's just the social embarrasment of feeling out of control and a bit of a mess.

I've started saying, as matter of factly as I can "I'm just having a middle aged moment" which I know other women my age will get.... but would that mean anything to anyone else? Should I just be saying "I'm having a hot flush" in a matter of fact way? I kind of feel I want to stop feeling ashamed of it and just accept it as a normal part of life. What do other people think?

I am in my 20s (just to give you context) and I would understand either "hot flush" or "middle aged moment"

I think it would be better to say either of those if anyone was wondering what's up instead of trying to hide it (not that you said you do). As I would worry you were feeling unwell.

I've been getting them, mid-40s, I just say I'm flushing. I keep an old fashioned folding fan in my handbag at all times. They keep breaking but they work so much better than any battery operated types I've tried and much better than wafting any bit of card or paper I happen to have around. I don't try to hide it, what's the point? Most women will experience this at some point, or at least understand it, and most reasonable men won't care.

I get hot flushes since having DS. I say I’m having a tropic moment or, depending on my mood, that I’m having another bastardise hot flush.

*bastarding

Yes, bastarding hot flush is pretty clear talking!

Think I just needed a bit of reassurance, my gut instinct is definitely to be open about it. Thanks all.

I think most people understand the general idea of a hot flush, although it's one of those things you don't truly 'get' until you've had one!

**Sunshine, I've just ordered a fan. Think that will make it pretty clear what's going on to many people.

My poor MIL gets them, she just says it and we all try to make sure that she gets some air! She often has a fan in her handbag so she tells us why she’s fanning herself. She’s very good-natured about it but it must be awful for her.

I agree that you should try not to be ashamed, this is basic biology and people just need to deal with it!

I think it's absolutely the right thing to say. Idk why there should be a stigma around it, it's actually very sad.

I’ve saod this in most recently a group of women aged 42 to 49 (I’m 50).they reacted as though as I had plague. , jumped back. They will never have them as they are all so young

Reminds of Mrs Doyle in Father Ted. ‘ I don’t want to catch the menopause ‘

The more we talk about them in the same way as we talk about hayfeaver or a cold the better. It is something that happens. And your point is caller,....?

Nelly, sorry to hear you had that response. I think it used to be seen as womens troubles to be whispered about behind closed doors. I would like to think we've moved on from being ashamed of our womanly functions but maybe not. I guess it will only change if our generation manages to be more open about it?

I'm 46 and i have them. I am open and say it's a hot flush. No shame around it; half the population will have them at some stage, so why hide it?

Absolutely. I’m about to launch a menopause initiative at work (NHS trust). It’s only because my colleagues have been so open with me about their experiences that I’m able to do so. Understanding starts with communication. I hope it helps the women in my organisation.

thanks Bishy, I think the reactoon was that flushes = menopause = old. I don’t give a rats arse what other people think. It’s just something my body does

My SIL went into menopause after a hysterectomy aged 32. Cancer treatment can cause menopause at an earlier than natural age. It’s not only an age thing.

My MIL says she’s having a “personal heatwave”. It’s never crossed my mind that it would be something people think you shouldn’t talk about. My mum is open about it too (she used to carry a fan around). Much better if we all talk about it so it becomes the norm, as others have said

I just say, if it's relevant to the situation "I'm having a hot flush".
Nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

I have hot flushes and night sweats at 39 as a side effect of my medication.

I have absolutely no shame in announcing that I'm having another bloody hot flush and will someone open a bastarding window/turn on a sniggering fan.

I fucking hate them & I'm in for at least a decade of this bollocks.

Flush away! And that way people will understand that it's nothing weird & they really aren't anything to be ashamed of. (And they give you space & fresh air.)

Yours in sweltering solidarity,

DMCWelshcakes.

That should be a buggering fan. Apparently my autocorrect has the sensibilities of a Victorian maiden aunt.