Separating and social services

[Randomsunshineovermull]

Posting here for traffic! NC as could be outing.
I’ve made the decision to separate from my husband, just haven’t spoken with him about it yet. In a nutshell as he is unable to emotionally be part of our family.
In the meantime I’ve been told social services are going to do a section 17 assessment (I asked for a careers assessment but they want to look at how my disabled child’s needs are being met).
AIBU to put separating on hold till this has been done? Or do I do what I feel is right and separate while social services are involved?

What does "he is emotionally unable to be part of our family" mean?I can't decide if YABU or not at the moment.

I think if anything you'd be better to separate and begin moving towards your goals now whilst you have the full involvement of social services. The separation is going to impact upon your DC in certain ways so if social services are aware of that, hopefully they'll be able to contribute towards supporting your DC further.

It is better for you and your child if they have a true picture of your child's needs.

I suppose I’m super nervous about the assessment and thinking of it as a judging exercise, and I’m worrying that putting a separation into the mix is going to make things worse.

You need to be honest with ss, if you mislead them during the assessment they'll wonder what you're hiding and may start a whole new assessment.

But telling my husband a week before the assessment that we need to split, when he’s no idea?
Also do I not look bad for splitting up in the days after they say they’ll do an assessment, as in they recognise we,re struggling, and I’m making it even more of a struggle by becoming a lone parent?

Honestly. I would wait.

Is that based on experience butterfly?

Section 17 of the Children's act, in very basic term, refers to Children in Need and the local authority's duty to offer support. Therefore this assessment should be a holistic assessment of your family with your child at the centre. This will identify any support needs your child may have. It could be that the local authority have a duty to offer extra support. This should have been explained to you and please ask your child's social worker if you have any questions.

Although people like to believe otherwise, social workers realise that not no family is perfect (including our own) and are not looking to find problems where none exist. There are several possible outcomes which should have been explained to you. Without knowing your circumstances it is hard to say what they could be. However unless a significant safeguarding issue is identified and subsequent risk cannot be managed in a voluntary way, it will not head down the child protection route.

If your child has some support needs identified it could be that you are referred to appropriate services and Social Care close or social care will work with you under a Child in Need plan. Be honest with your worker, we work with children and their families hoping for good outcomes!

If you've made the decision that, for whatever reason, the relationship with DH isn't working then just be upfront. There is a huge difference between a "child in need" and a "child at risk" assessment. Carers assessments are really bloody hard to get.

You really won't get be getting anything extra by becoming a single parent in terms of support or respite. Good luck

I would do it now so social services have the full picture and cam offer support as required.