To worry they will call social services on us?

[Hamspamwich]

I have a ds who is 22 months old. Everyone can't believe how lively and outgoing he is. He has literally no fear what so ever. His elbow came out of socket when he was out with my mum one day about a year ago and we had a trip to a and e to have it popped back in. They told us it's likely to happen again now untill the joint tightens up when he's a out 5, the socket is weakened so we need to be very careful. It's happened twice since then and now DH had just called me from minor injuries to say it's happened again at soft play this afternoon. I'm so worried that social services will think something is happening to him as how can one child have this many accidents. He also fell 3 weeks ago and his tooth went through his lip.
I am always so careful with his arm and worry when he's playing with his cousins etc. I do everything I can to keep him safe but we seem to be always at minor injuries or a and e.
I think im over thinking it a little as it's the first time I can't be there too because we have a 5 day old now and I feel so sad an afternoon out has ended up there.

Aibu to worry they'll think we're bad parents?

It happened to me too. My son put his out 4 times when he was that age. The last time I was just grgrateful t happened in front of witnesses! They know that this is a common injury at that age and that when it happens once it will happen again as it leaves a weakness. My son eventually grew out of it, but I admit I did reset it myself a couple if times too. Not hard. Dont worry

I wouldn’t worry, there’ll be a note on your medical record saying that the doctor has advised it will probably happen again, so subsequent instances will be seen as a follow on from a weakness in his socket.

Some hospitals do have a policy of running things past social services of a child comes in with an injury, which is to protect all children. The key thing is, if you’ve done nothing to hurt him, it’ll be a tick box and close file job. You have nothing to fear. And it’s better for social services to be a little over zealous checking things out than let kids at risk go unchecked.

I’d say it looks good too that you’re taking him for treatment so quickly. A lot of abusive parents won’t seek help for fear of being found out.

I see you have a five day old! You must be exhausted and are probably worrying more as a result. But honestly there’s no need to worry :) social services, if they do get involved, are there to make sure a child isn’t being abused or neglected, that’s a good thing and if you’re not doing those things you have nothing to worry about.

I do totally understand that they're there to help children and would find a loving home if they did check on DS I just feel like it looks really bad when it keeps happening!

You are over thinking this OP, try not to worry.

I will add, if they do make a referral to social services that’s all it is. You’ll possibly be spoken to and asked about what’s been going on. Then case closed. There’s a lot of fear mongering over ‘calling SS on us’ as if it’s an unstoppable process that starts with a call and ends with losing custody of your children but that’s the last thing anybody wants. Usually it’s just to check things out and get some more info.

Usually when you hear the fear mongering it’s from parents who for one reason or another sadly did give professionals reason to worry, but due to confidentiality they can say what they like while SS, doctors etc can’t say a word. So you’ll get the impression SS have removed children for the tiniest minor issue (what parent would admit it was justified?). Try not to listen to the hysteria, focus on the fact that your child is safe and you’re doing everything you can to make sure he’s alright because you’re good parents :)

Kids have accidents all the time! If they do contact them it’s almost certainly not going to be anything personal, more like ‘if a child presents with three injuries in the span of a year we notify them as standard’. In which case you just go along with it, remind yourself it’s a good thing for kids who aren’t as lucky to be taken care of properly as your son, and provide the reassurance they’re looking for. That’s it :)

My dd gets this, just had to take her to a&e recently actually. Pulled elbow (or nursemaids elbow as its sometimes called) is common in some kids, it shouldn’t worry them. They just told me to be careful about lifting up by arms, swinging round, etc, which obviously I am anyway.

I have been to a& e more times with my twins and once with the same injury in the other twin a week later! Same staff!
But we told the truth and I thought so what if they refer. It was accidents, it was dealt with and I would rather them doing their job than not
Mine also go to preschool and they have asked us about scratching but that is eczema related which they know about. Again I think I would rather them do their job than not as something with a child can be missed

What would trigger concern is if the injury seen didn't fit with the explanation. So you say 'oh he fell down the stairs' but when they look at the bruises, there's a bruise the size and shape of an iron on the child's face - clearly they haven't fallen down the stairs, someone's whacked them with an iron.

So having had it happen once, it's documented and recorded as what it was (a dislocation) and it's known that once a dislocation occurs it's much more likely to happen again, I honestly think you're well covered but I do understand the worry but I think you're alright. As another PP says, you're immediately seeking treatment and it's not just one parent doing it, everyone's making sure the child is receiving the treatment promptly and that's evidence of a caring family, not the opposite.

In any case, when SS look at abuse or neglect they don't ever just take one thing into consideration. They'd also look at visits to things like (as they become appropriate with age) dentist visit, optician visits, appropriate trips to the GP, immunisations, evidence of care when ill such as administering fever meds and putting plasters on wounds and that's even before they start looking at food, house, attendance at school/playschool whatever. So honestly, I don't think you've anything to worry about.

In a month, I was with DS at a&e/ walk in centres for two knocked out teeth, Lego up the nose, a head injury at school, an asthma attack & a dislocated shoulder. He also had a black eye.

No SS referral for me.

There was another little girl there who’s dad I was chatting too, and she’d broken both legs falling down the stairs, and already had a cast on her arm from falling off a balance bike.

Kids are kids!

My SIL is a paediatrician and she pulled her child's arm out of its socket. It is a very common injury and you shouldn't worry. Congratulations on your new baby!

This happened with my son three times when he was younger (now 10) the first time it was ‘my fault’, he went to dash across a road and I grabbed his arm. The second time he did it when playing. Can’t remember the third... on the second occasion the Dr asked me if he’d had the injury before to which my son replied “yeah my mum did it to me” Dr just laughed and put it back. I was mortified!

I had this with one of mine after the fourth trip to A&E for head injuries because my young son had no fear and obviously thought he could fly down from trees or climbing frames that he'd run up before I could catch him (too old for reigns).

They contacted my health visitor who told them to bugger off basically because she'd seen what a little sod he could be. We never heard anything more other than the HV calling me to tell me.m

Dd popped her elbow twice before the age of 4, we have a family history of benign hyper mobility which she was later diagnosed with

Please don’t worry it’s very common under the age of 5 but can be a sign of underlying hyper mobility

Thankyou all they're on the way home now and he's all fixed AGAIN. The joint gets weaker the more it happens so I'm warning anyone who takes DS out to please be so careful!!
I'm definitely over thinking because it wouldn't matter even if they did put in a report I just don't like the thought that they may think bad of us. I know they're trained in what to look out for etc though.

You’ve answered your own question Ham - even if Social Services did check, you’d be fine.

don't worry.even if they look upon you they would quickly look and leave because your obviously a fab,fine family.
over worrying will cause strain and stress and for you to be the very parent you don't want to be hun so try to relax it down again.keep your rational head on thing.youll be worrying enough when dc hurts themselves without the added fear of ss.
and you don't want to stop having fun together or becoming unnatural.
nothing can happen to you because your doing nothing wrong.
go grab them and give a snuggly hug and keep showing him all the fun in the world.
accidents happen.all that's important is that your dc feels safe and captured when thy do and protected enough to know youll get it sorted together and look after them through it.

Hamps even if it does get flagged the socket issue will be on his medical record.

I get the worry, my older DD has averaged two breaks a year (fingers, ankle and mysterious back pain leading to a stay on the children's ward this year already) nearly all of these have been football injuries.

I can see how it would look dodgy to someone only getting half the story but up to now at least we have had no outside agency involvement.

A+E normally give us a sheet to fill it (not just me specifically, anyone in with a child) which asks how's it occurs, who with etc. It's on her GP records as well.