Dropping a 'friend' who is a User?

[FriendOrUser]

Name changed as I know she is on here albeit not often. Sorry it's a long post!

I met this friend just over 7 years ago but I was working for her as childcare so we weren't friends to begin with.

After a year of working for her and looking after her DS 4 days a week I found another job (permanent and full time) and we parted on good terms, she gave me a glowing reference and I even recommended another childcare provider for her.

We stayed in touch and became friends - soon her DS was staying 2 nights at the weekends with us very nearly every weekend.
We were just doing this as a favour for a friend and cos we enjoyed spending time with her DS but she would send £20 / £30 with him to pay for travel costs, nappies, food etc for the weekend but we never made any money from it as we always took him out, bought ice creams, toys etc etc.
He stayed most weekends with us until he started school. (Think sort of 42/52 weekends a year for 3 years)

Then when he started school, they changed their work hours and it dropped dramatically to the odd visit now and then and I began to realise that it was actually a rarity that I had spent much time with his mum on days / nights out in the past. Maybe 3/4 times a year we would get together.

Now it's been a whole year since the last time I actually saw either of them. We text but she is beginning to feel more and more like a judgemental friend who has a problem with every decision I ever make. Which I realise now that she has been like for a long while.

I feel like we've been deprived of seeing her DS who we love and he loved seeing us because they don't need the free childcare anymore.

She has had severe depression which I totally get because I've been there but it's not got better at all in 7 years!
So she pulls this guilt trip about how she is ill and can't do much and works 6 days a week and I shouldn't be so judgemental (she has time to go on nights out with other people though).

Wibu to just drop her as a friend and block all contact?

I'm wondering if it might just be easier to leave it at low contact until we move house in a couple of years so she can't just turn up and make a massive scene!

You may considered it as friendship, but they considered it as cheap weekend childcare. You considered the child like an extended member of your family (such as a niece or nephew), but they obviously don’t. I’m sorry to say that you were being used, and theyndon’t Actually value you as a friend.

Didn’t they want to spend any time with their child at weekends? So they worked all week, with their child in childcare, and then palmed him/her off with you at the weekends.

It was a friendship of conveneience i’m Afraid.

I wish you were my friend, you sound lovely op to take such an active role in their kids life! Distance yourself, she's been awful.

No they would spend evenings and Sunday afternoons with him before he started at school.

He is such a lovely lad and has always called us Aunty and Uncle and she was always saying I'm such a good friend and we did used to text a lot so I did consider her a friend.

My DH thinks she's a user and wanted me to drop her years ago but I just don't like drama and I wanted to keep seeing her DS.

Wow. They sent their child to you EVERY weekend ! What.. ?? Didn't they want to spend quality time with him at weekends at home as a family ? This all sounds so bizarre !

I agree with the first poster, you may have considered her a friend but she saw you first and foremost as childcare. As you stated she no longer needs childcare, so she has no need to 'keep you sweet' with hollow compliments - hence the real reason you haven't spent time. With her recently. You seem kind and trusting. Listen to your DH she is a user.

Nearly every weekend. They did have annual leave and holiday days they used. Roughly 42 weekends out of 52.

I'm really sad about it all, we really loved that little lad and he loved playing with our children when they came. 😔

Why are people like this? 😔