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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by new partner being dopey?

69 replies

MadJanice · 07/06/2018 12:05

Been seeing someone for a few months. He often says weird stuff or asks daft questions and I find it really annoying. I don't know if he's trying to be funny or what but it's getting on my nerves.

Example last night he came around to my house for the first time. Spotted the dog and shouted loudly "oh a dog!!!" As if he didn't know I had one. I've mentioned the dog loads of times. He then said "is it real?" Confused so I laughed awkwardly and just ignored him. He started playing with it, it got excited and started barking so he shouted "what is he saying???!" Confused so I said "what??" And he said "he's speaking to me! What is it saying??!" So I just said "probably telling you to piss off!" So he looked shocked and said "really??"

I can't tell if he's joking or not, surely he must be but if I don't answer him he keeps asking as if he's been serious. Other times he can be perfectly normal but then you get scenarios like that and I find it really dull and irritating.

AIBU to tell him to pack it in playing the fool?

OP posts:
AbsolutelyBeginning · 07/06/2018 12:55

You've just reminded me of the time a potential boyfriend walked behind me 'hilariously' treading on my heels. For five miles. Reader, I did not marry him

OMG! Shock I doubt there is a woman out there for this type of guy!

Rhiannon13 · 07/06/2018 12:56

Dim, or playing dim. Neither of which are the least bit attractive. I'd get out.

DeepFatFriar · 07/06/2018 12:57

Meh. You sound a bit serious op.

HonkyWonkWoman · 07/06/2018 12:59

He sounds really REALLY annoyyyyyyying!

Ceirrno · 07/06/2018 12:59

I guess it could all be in the intonation? But basically it doesn't sound like you're compatible. It does remind me of a guy I went on one date with whose attempts at humour were very odd, but he told me he had Asperger's.

My new DP can have a silly sense of humour at times, but we seem to just get it when each other is messing around so it works- it doesn't sound like you to have that chemistry.

NightAndShiningArmour · 07/06/2018 13:04

LTB

Topseyt · 07/06/2018 13:11

I would find that utterly infuriating. I just wouldn't be able to put up with such twattery beyond the first minute or two.

Very unattractive and not remotely funny.

pigsDOfly · 07/06/2018 13:13

Well given that he's not actually your partner it's not going to be much of a faff to cut him loose.

You sound as if you don't like him and he annoys you. Just end it.

Seeingadistance · 07/06/2018 13:14

You've just reminded me of the time a potential boyfriend walked behind me 'hilariously' treading on my heels. For five miles. Reader, I did not marry him.

Never mind not marrying him! I hope you killed him. A slow and painful death would be the right thing to do.

veggiethrower · 07/06/2018 13:15

You aren't compatible. Move on.
This is just going to get more and more irritating.

The80sweregreat · 07/06/2018 13:18

He may have been a bit nervous being at your home, hence the dog comment? i know that i tend to waffle on a bit if i feel uncomfortable somewhere or say things which are obvious.. i would have laughed i think and said ' yeah, he often 'speaks' to me when he wants feeding' or something similar but then i also have a silly sense of humour, we're all different. clearly , if this continues, you are not compatible and best to not carry on the relationship i guess. you might be better with someone a bit more serious minded!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 07/06/2018 13:20

Sounds like a space cadet. How did you not notice his odd view of the world until now?

Probably telling you to piss off ha ha Grin. If he didn't find that remark funny, he's not a keeper.

I'd guarantee he's one of those men that's given his penis a pet name and gives it a "voice" during sex. You have been warned.

Vitalogy · 07/06/2018 13:21

I thought asking for a translation of what dog was saying reasonable Confused

TatterdemalionAspie · 07/06/2018 13:24

Is he on the autistic spectrum? I bet he is!!! Can you deal with that?

Are you really stupid?? I bet you are!!! How do you deal with that?? Hmm

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 07/06/2018 13:25

Vitalogy I don't think it's that bad. I like silly sometimes.

You could ask Janice for his number? Grin

pigsDOfly · 07/06/2018 13:26

Actually, asking for a translation and being shocked that the dog was telling him to 'piss off' might not be that unreasonable.

He's playing with the dog and thinking he's getting on well with him, dog starts barking, he wants to know what that might mean and the OP tells him that the dog actually doesn't like him and wishes he would 'piss off'.

I'm not surprised he was shocked.

TatterdemalionAspie · 07/06/2018 13:27

OP he sounds exceptionally tedious. You can't change someone's sense of humour. Just move on - it will only irritate you more as time goes on.

Vitalogy · 07/06/2018 13:32

You could ask Janice for his number? Grin

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 07/06/2018 13:33

Agree with PP: how is he your partner if he’s barely been to your home, only just met your dog, and it’s been only a few months? Confused

UrgentScurryfunge · 07/06/2018 13:35

Just a warning, irritating jokes never improve with age...

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 07/06/2018 13:35

To be fair there’s a really weird trend I’ve noticed in the past couple of years of people deciding their new boyfriend/girlfriend is their ‘partner’ a month in. Not gonna lie, it’s pretty funny hearing a seventeen year old refer to a boy they’ve been seeing for six weeks as their ‘partner’. It’s like someone is trying to elevate the relationship into a way more serious one overnight to give it more credibility or something.

You share your life with a partner. It’s a similar level of commitment/enmeshment as being married, is how I’ve always understood it.

TheBogWitchIsBack · 07/06/2018 13:37

He sounds annoying af.
That kind of sense of humour would grate on me and get old very quickly.

cakecakecheese · 07/06/2018 13:40

Sounds like my ex. I don't have a dog but I can imagine him doing something like that. He would look at all my stuff asking what it was or why something was the way it was but he had a terrible memory and would ask the same things. I lost it once 'It's my fucking cooking wine as I've told you on the last three occasions when you've asked what that is!!!' I just didn't have the patience for him. I'm with someone now who isn't at all irritating and it's great. So yeah if he's irritating you already then you might have to end it as he's unlikely to change if that's who he is.

cakecakecheese · 07/06/2018 13:42

Also why the nit picking on here about the term 'partner'? Some people prefer it over boyfriend etc, I didn't realise there had to be a certain benchmark you had to reach before you can use that term Hmm

brieislife · 07/06/2018 13:45

Just incompatible senses of humour. End it so you can both find people who make you laugh.