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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Guinea pig died, I'm heartbroken AIBU?

29 replies

2ManyChoices · 07/06/2018 00:58

Yesterday evening our guinea pig, who we've had for a long time, overheated in the garden and passed away, I'm mortified, it was so traumatic for the kids, for me, for the poor guinea pig, and now I'm racked with guilt and what ifs, what if I'd just cleaned the cage faster, what if I'd brought her in before, what if I'd reacted faster and cooled her down quicker, I'm driving myself mad, can't stop crying, husband thinks I'm overreacting, I think it's all my fault.

OP posts:

Koalablue · 07/06/2018 01:06

Your not over reacting. Our pets are like our kids. RiP poor little guinee pig.

SnowGoArea · 07/06/2018 01:11

It so sad when a much loved pet dies

If you've had it for ages than it sounds like it wasn't exactly a young and spritely thing, and the end of its life was around the corner one day soon anyway? They have to go somehow - out in the garden doesn't sound too bad as things go. And you were cleaning the cage out so it was clearly well looked after and cared for. Was there anything particularly traumatic, or was the trauma finding that it had died? Because whilst it's upsetting for the kids, it can be helpful in the long run to have actually seen what happened to their pet (things like road accidents excluded).

Time to give yourself a break and stop feeling guilty .

LeighaJ · 07/06/2018 01:17

You're not being unreasonable and how were you to know it could overheat so easily? Be kind to yourself. We're all only human.

I was heartbroken when my cat of 13 years died, it was almost 3 years ago and I still have trouble talking about it.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 07/06/2018 01:23

Of course you are not being unreasonable you have lost a much loved pet, sounds like she was loved very much and I bet she had a lovely little life, so sorry for you.

sheldonesque · 07/06/2018 01:48

The fact that you are so upset means your guineapig was loved and would have known joy being with your family.

I still feel so much guilt over my hound because I didn't realise she was dying. I blame myself but sometimes life has other plans for those we love and there really isn't blame. It doesn't stop the pain though.

Sending you love x

agnurse · 07/06/2018 01:58

Pets are akin to family. We have three cats and I'm not looking forward to when they cross the rainbow bridge. It's understandable that you would be upset. It does sound, though, as if the guinea pig was kind of (or close to) on its last legs.

When you feel up to it, you might like to get a new guinea pig. If you're concerned the overheating could happen again, it is possible to get a "skinny pig". These are guinea pigs that are mostly hairless. They have a little bit of fur on their noses but that's it. They require a little extra cleaning and some extra food and possibly a heat lamp when it gets really cold, but I don't think they're terribly difficult to care for. They do look a bit odd but they feel similar to suede. I have petted one before in a pet shop.

TheMaddHugger · 07/06/2018 03:38

Really Soft Heartfelt (((((((Madd Hugs))))))) :'(

Shinesweetfreedom · 07/06/2018 04:23

No you are not being unreasonable to be upset

FindoGask · 07/06/2018 04:41

No of course you're not being unreasonable. You loved her, and you were responsible for her care, so now of course you're torturing yourself because she died and you feel that it might have been your fault - but it's unrealistic to expect yourself to instantly know all the right things to do in an emergency situation, or to predict the future.

I bet she had a lovely life with you.

FindoGask · 07/06/2018 04:42

leigha same with my cat - she was 11, she went downhill quite suddenly but in retrospect she'd been less active for a week or so - we just thought she was sleeping a lot. She died at the vets on her own and I find that so hard - I wish we'd kept her at home if we'd known there was nothing they could do for her.

SomebodysNotInBedYet · 07/06/2018 05:25

My bunny died a year and a half ago on the way to the vet and I still have a little cry for him sometimes. Lots of 'what ifs' in his situation too but unless you are neglecting or abusing you're not at fault and it does no good to dwell on 'what if I'd got him to the vet sooner' etc.

vampirethriller · 07/06/2018 08:20

Not unreasonable at all. I still get sad about my last dog and he died 11 years ago! If you love something it's natural to be sad when they're gone. No matter what they were!

treeofhearts · 07/06/2018 09:01

Aww I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. When they get old they do overheat much more easily and they can easily go from coping to not coping in minutes. You weren't to know.

Original poster

2ManyChoices · 07/06/2018 09:14

Thanks for your messages guys, I guess I'm just really feeling the guilt, she was an old lady and she was very very loved, it was the whole collapsing and going limp while in my daughters arms, as she was tickling her belly, then the panic trying to cool her down, ringing the vets, getting there to no vitals, I feel I should have prevented this, she was my responsibility and I've let her down, I've literally cried all night.

OP posts:

BlackInk · 07/06/2018 10:02

It may just have been her time to slip away OP, not necessarily the heat. If she had access to shade and water to drink on a day like yesterday heat stroke is unlikely (sunny but not boiling hot?).
If she passed away whilst having her belly tickled by someone who loved her I would say that's a good way to go.
RIP little piggy x

FindoGask · 07/06/2018 10:07

I can totally understand how you must feel responsible but it sounds like it all happened very quickly, too quickly to have done anything different. And - importantly - after a long happy life, she died in your daughter's arms, getting a tummy rub... sounds like a pretty good way to go, all things considered.

FindoGask · 07/06/2018 10:07

Cross post BlackInk!

mirime · 07/06/2018 10:14

YANBU, and you feel like this because you loved her.

We lost our youngest cat last year, quite suddenly and very unexpectedly. I still sometimes try and remember if there were any signs that something was wrong in the lead up to him becoming ill and feel bad that I can't remember what he was doing the day before. Two days before he seemed fine.

Take care of yourself.

Missingstreetlife · 07/06/2018 10:20

Guilt is part of grief. Hindsight has perfect vision. Grief for pets often intense but may be processed more quickly. Good that your children saw a peaceful death. Cry if you want to, have a little funeral.

spidey66 · 07/06/2018 10:22

I had my cat PTS this week. He was very old (18) and was gradually going downhill over the last couple of years (sleeping more and moving less.) Over the last few days there was a further, rapid deterioration-weeing all over the place, barely moving, not eating, difficulty breathing, less vocal. We took him to the vets who said he had fluid round his organs which often means kidney failure, heart disease, liver failure etc. We made the decision to have him PTS. My head tells me this was right, if we'd asked for a diagnosis and then treatment, it was likely he'd have died before the bloods etc came through, let alone started treatment. But my heart wanted more time with him. I keep forgetting he's dead and keep expecting to see him around the house. I adored the cat but am quite pragmatic and realistic and I'm surprised how much I miss seeing him around.

Original poster

2ManyChoices · 07/06/2018 11:42

Thankyou so much for all your support and kind words, she was a one in a million guinea pig, such a personality, and was very well loved, I just wish I could go bck and change the outcome, like you said @missingstreetlife hindsight does have perfect vision. Thankyou.

OP posts:

AwkwardPaws27 · 07/06/2018 13:34

OP, it is so sad to lose a pet. I always struggle with the "what if" questions afterwards, but you need to focus on the good life you gave them before that. The fact that you noticed the issue and sought help shows you are a good owner x

@agnurse skinny pigs need to be kept indoors as they can become hypothermic much more easily and are at risk of sunburn in hot weather. They are not easy to care for, my friend has several rescue ones surrendered due to the extra care they need.

bridgetreilly · 07/06/2018 13:51

Pets are not like children.

It's reasonable to be sad and in the circumstances, it's reasonable to question your own actions and for that to make it more difficult to deal with. It is NOT reasonable to be heart-broken. The death of your guinea-pig is NOTHING like the death of a child, or indeed any other loved person. Please get it in perspective for the sake of those who are grieving the loss of people.

treeofhearts · 07/06/2018 14:45

Oh go away Bridge. If you can't be kind, just go away. We're not playing tops trumps here. For some people their pets are like their kids, some people can't have children. You can't possibly know what someone else is feeling and how much they love something, love is limitless.

Loonoon · 07/06/2018 14:52

You could well be blaming yourself needlessly. guineapigs don't live very long so it might well be that her time had come and she curled up and went to sleep in the sun.

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