To be devastated that I stopped loving DH?

[mamabebe84]

I just want to know if it's only me?
I stopped loving my DH. I don't want him to touch me even though we do touch. I cringe when he kisses me but we kiss, a lot.
I can't be bothered about what he did and who with and when. I just do not care. I find him repulsive and it makes me cry.
He cheated a while ago but my love diminished month by month until it's gone.
I just don't love him anymore. And it hurts so much because suddenly I feel like the loneliest person on earth. The man I loved doesn't exist, there is that piece of s**t I live with, but my man is gone, it's like he died.
Have you ever stopped loving someone? How did it make you feel?

I would think touching and kissing a man that you don’t love “a lot”, despite not wanting to, is what’s hurting you most.

You’re not going to feel any better or start to properly heal until you put a stop to that.

You need to tell him, and finish it PDQ! It's only prolonging the agony to let it go on. Why do you let him touch you and kiss you? All your hopes and dreams for this man died when he cheated, and you've lost the love and respect for him that you need, for it to go on. Tell him, and get out.

Betrayal is a grief, yes. It's awful.

You need to end it. No point staying together when his cheating has done so much damage.

Sorry, that should have been;

*I would think touching and kissing a man “a lot”, despite not wanting to, and not loving him, is what’s hurting you most.

Any love, loyalty or respect you owed him ended when he cheated. Deal over. End it for the sake of your self respect. I'm sorry - be kind to yourself. You deserve better than this.

He betrayed your trust and now it hurts to intimacy with him. That’s understandable. I don’t think it’s fixable really.

I’ve known couples try to work their way through betrayal. I’ve never seen it succeed though.

I’m sorry this happened to you

I can really identify with that. My DH had an affair. I felt the love sort of leaking out of me over the next few weeks/ months. It was agonising. 💐

I think you need to talk to him about it.
Tell him that he broke something, and now it's irretrievably gone.
Then decide whether or not you want to split - in reality, you should, because living with someone you don't want to be with is soul-destroying, but I know it's not always that easy or straightforward.

for you. x

Perhaps separate for a while. You need some perspective.

He cheated a while ago but my love diminished month by month until it's gone.

Of course it did. Of course you don't love him anymore or want to kiss him or whatever. He cheated on you. It took you a while to process how this made you feel but finally you are realising that he is a bit shit and isn't worth it and you don't find him attractive.

Most natural thing in the world.

Equally natural to find it hard to say goodbye in these circumstances. You are closing a door on a big part of your life - one that you thought would turn out differently. But it didn't because of his faithlessness.

But rest assured once you have dumped him you will begin not to care and move on to the wonderful life you have ahead without him.

Don't be devastated OP, as much as it hurts, one day you will be thankful that he showed his true colors and set you free. Sometimes you just have to chuck it in the fuckit bucket and move on (saw that on insta

This is exactly how I felt about ExH. He didn't cheat (not that he didn't try) but he is a gambler and emotionally abusive. I only started to realise my feelings after DS2 was born. For a while I thought it was because I was breastfeeding, my hormones were all over the place and I couldn't stand him touching me. It took me a while but eventually I realised I just didn't love him anymore. His behaviour had killed any of the positive feelings I had for him and living with that everyday was agony.

You need to do some self care and stop living the lie.
I am so sorry. It is devastating when that happens but it really isn't the end of happiness. It just feels like it at the mo.

I think I know how you feel and I'm afraid of it too

Thank you everyone for replying. It's great to be understood and knowing I'm not the only one.
We have 2 DC. I've been thinking if it's possible to fall in love with someone all over again or will he always be this repulsive man I don't know anymore? I think of separation, I really struggle with pretending, every time he goes away with business, me and DC are having the best time because I am relaxed and happy without him around.

I'd have this moved to Relationships rather than leaving it here in AIBU? OP

The fact that you're 'relaxed and happy' when he goes away probably tells you all you need to know. You could be like it permanently if you make the break.

Oh so sorry for you OP

I stopped loving my ExH. I don’t think I knew at first I had. Maybe he did - he bought me some flowers Home once and said that instead of happy, I looked sad. I was especially sad because unlike your cheating POS, my ExH was one of the most wonderful people in the world. He was wonderful, and with hindsight I’m so glad we split so that now someone can love him properly.

I’m in love again! There’s defo defo happiness out there to be had again!

He cheated. You fell out of love with him. That was a risk he took when he cheated. You can move on now. I wouldn't say that if he had been faithful and you'd fallen out of love with him, as being 'in love' dips in and out of a long term relationship. I wouldn't even suggest it if he'd cheated but you still loved him and wanted tosave the relationship. People can and do survive infidelity. But he did and you don't, so why stay?