Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bully and Ds at school WWYD

42 replies

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 06/06/2018 18:26

Ds age 12 was attacked a few weeks ago in school, at break time and then lunch time, completely unprovoked from behind, school got involved and the bully was kept in isolation for 4 days, Ds suffered a black eye, bruised ribs and bruises to his body. On these occasions Ds did not hit back, ( was too shocked)

Ds is not in any of this bully’s classes, has not interacted with him and has told the school he doesn’t like Ds as he’s popular.

Today Ds is walking home and the bully has attacked Ds from behind again, this time Ds has a vile black eye, sprained ankle and bruises foot pring on his spine, however Ds hit the child back on this occasion, and apparently the bully has cried, Ds punched the bully and picked him up and thrown him to the ground winding the bully. (Some feat for a very slight 12 year old, however he is exceptionally fit)

As this was outside school hours I don’t think the school will become involved now however I am now wanting to report this to the police?

Dh thinks no as our son has now proven to the bully he will not fight back and get the better of him, however I think the bully needs a lesson from authority that you can just be going around punching people unproved and from behind.

OP posts:
Amaried · 06/06/2018 18:29

At this stage I would inform the police to be honest. The intent is very vicious for such a young boy. I'd hope a warning from the cops would be enough to scare him off for good.

Maelstrop · 06/06/2018 18:30

Your child defended himself. It’s not the 1st time this brat has attacked your son. Take photos, phone 101 for advice. You can ask to press charges, but it’s unlikely to get past the CPS. Your poor lad!

bastardkitty · 06/06/2018 18:33

I would report to the police on the non emergency number. I'm surprised you didn't do this after the first assault, given the inujuries. The bully is likely to claim your DS hit him first, so very important to report asap.

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 06/06/2018 18:36

Sorry about the errors, quite shaken up, Ds seems fine however Sad

OP posts:
Northernparent68 · 06/06/2018 18:36

Do you think you should move your son to a different school

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 06/06/2018 18:41

Actually I would probably report to the school, although it was outside school it was on the way home and they should keep it on record. They may also be able to advise on other steps you could take.

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 06/06/2018 18:43

Haonestly no I don’t northern not at this point anyway to move Ds to a different school would feel, to him, if he was the one being punished.

He’s very popular straight A kid, very active in the school clubs and sports clubs etc... glowing school reports, highly thought of little boy.

In all his school career we’ve never had any incidents of bullying or him being involved in any incidents, he’s in all honestly he’s a pretty canny kid.

I can’t see this child saying Ds hit him first as there was loads of witnesses.

OP posts:
OnTopOfSpaghetti · 06/06/2018 18:45

I think under the circumstances I'd involve both police and school. My 2 DS both attend self defence classes and I have told them I will 100% support them if they use their self defence in a genuine way. No matter what school may think.
Also I think this should be recorded in case things escalate. Am Angry on your behalf. Can't stand bullies. Your poor DSFlowers

Fruitcorner123 · 06/06/2018 18:45

Yes i think report it too. You will not forgive yourself if there is a more serious assault and you didn't. He might have scared him enough by fighting back but equally it might make the bully more determined or he might get some other friends (possibly older) involved.

I am not trying to scare you but I think its important to report an assault like this. I also think its important to teach your DS not to just accept this kind of treatment as a part of life.

You should report to school too. The school will want to know as it was on the way home from school.

TheGirlWithAPrince · 06/06/2018 18:53

I would, what if next time the bully pulls out a knife or really goes to town on DS?

your son protected himself but what happens next time if there is a next time?

Laceystace · 06/06/2018 18:53

This situation happened to my DNephew. My oldest DS who went to the same school rightfully put the boy in his place. Told him that of he he touches him again there would be trouble. My DS is well respected in the school. Doesn't your DS have any relatives in school or maybe his dad or somebody could come in and have a word with the boy. The school where already told about this situation and seem to have done fuck all. The police are useless these days when it comes to things like this. Sometimes you have to deal with things yourself.

Someone needs to warn the little twit that if he touches your DS again he will get another thumping that will leave him knocked out. The bully is disgrace can give it but can't take it back.

RebelRogue · 06/06/2018 18:55

Report to police and inform school.

FASH84 · 06/06/2018 18:56

Actually I would probably report to the school, although it was outside school it was on the way home and they should keep it on record. They may also be able to advise on other steps you could take.

This. The school need to know the pattern.

Whattheactualfuckmate · 06/06/2018 18:58

Phone the police

You should have done that the first time

Laceystace · 06/06/2018 18:59

If anyone did this to my son my DH would be in the next day putting that boy in his place and making sure he never lays another finger on my DS or another child for that matter.

booellesmum · 06/06/2018 18:59

I would report to the police and inform school you have done so.
Hope that will put a stop to it.

SoupDragon · 06/06/2018 18:59

maybe his dad or somebody could come in and have a word with the boy.

You think having his dad go in and basically threaten a 12 year old boy is a good idea?

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 06/06/2018 19:02

Unfortunately no, Ds is my eldest, and his cousins who are older are now at university, he has older cousins from my side of the family however I’m not from England.

Before this I told Ds I will go with the consensus, so will call 101 now.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 06/06/2018 19:02

I think I would inform the police. There is a chance the bully will try to make a counter complaint against your DS though.

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 06/06/2018 19:05

I don’t believe me or dh should be threatening anyone, more so a minor, the consequences to our professional careers would be substantial.

Hindsight would be wonderful, however we niavely assumed it would have stopped due to school punishment.

OP posts:
Laceystace · 06/06/2018 19:06

SoupDragon

You think having his dad go in and basically threaten a 12 year old boy is a good idea?

I think it's a brilliant idea. With all the cuts happening with schools and policing things like this seem to be left off to easily. This boy needs to be put in his place. There is no excuse for this behavior and he needs to be called out.

He may be 12 but he'd acting like he's some sort of of big "gangster", yet cries when he get tumped in the face. Hmm. If he wants to act like a big man he will get the big man treatment.

dadshere · 06/06/2018 19:08

The bully sounds like a psycho- report to the police and the school

SoddingUnicorns · 06/06/2018 19:10

@Laceystace it’s not a good idea. At all.

My son endured 18 months of targeted bullying, culminating in an assault with sticks. I lost my shit and roared at the little fucker (from 60 feet away) and am now the not so proud owner of a conviction because his shitcunt mother got me charged. Fuck all happened to the kid who targeted my son because of his disability by the way, and we’ve had to sell up and move to protect my son.

So aye, I understand the sentiment, but it has consequences. And wouldn’t help.

Laceystace · 06/06/2018 19:11

OK OP you do t have to threaten violence just make sure the boy is to scared to touch your DS again.

I would also recommend moving school. The punishment the child's got was too light he should've been excluded and the police notified the way the school has dealt with this shows that this sort of behaviour is the norm. It's not safe for your child to be in such a violent school with no brotherly figure there to look after him.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 06/06/2018 19:11

I hate the words bully and bullying because they somehow seem to minimise what’s going on in cases like this. Your child has been physically assaulted. GBH. Yes report it to the police and yes inform the school. Something similar happened to my friends son, he was frightened he’d get in to trouble because he’d eventually snapped and fought back. The lovely policeman that came to talk with him told him he was absolutely allowed to defend himself. You may find this is the end of it tbh as people like this don’t like being stood up to. DSD was horribly physically and emotionally ‘bullied’ when she was at school. Amazingly, when she finally hit back (bloody hard, she was over six foot at the age of 15), the ‘bully’ decided it was best to move on to someone else.