To think it's rude to say you didn't know we had plans...

[BangPippleGo]

in a WhatsApp group where all you have to do is scroll up to see where we made plans?!

Trying to arrange a get together with a group of mum friends, all have toddlers of a similar age and it's obviously difficult to find a time to suit everyone so usually arrange a few weeks in advance. We had plans for today. I sent a message to the group last night to check if everyone was still on, and out of five of them, not one of them remembered we had plans. Which is fair enough, easily forgotten. But rather than admitting they forgot; each one of them said "Oh I didn't know we had plans" or "I must have missed where we made these arrangements as I'm not actually free".

I don't mind people forgetting. It happens. But when all you have to do is scroll up on the group message to see where two weeks ago (and we don't message all the time so it's not that far back) every single one of them said they were free and agreed to the date, it pisses me off that they all act as if they hadn't agreed in the first place or "didn't know".

I'm tempted to screenshot where they all agreed but that just feels really rude and petty. But I turned down other plans for today that I now can't get back in on so I'm grumpy!

You know you can swipe the original plan message and reply to it, that way it will come at the bottom for all to see

Some people are very annoying on Whatsup! both my DCs play football in teams and all organisation is sent out via Whatsup and the amount of times people ask stupid questions on where we are playing etc! Just bloody scroll back and check yourself

It’s a shame you let them off the hook like that. Yes it is really rude and i Like the breezy response We agreed. It’s just a bit further up the page.. Glad one of them is free. Next time, reminders would be good. Or even contrived messages asking for information or if someone is bringing something etc.

I'd simply tell them to look at so and so date, where they'll see they all agreed the date and the plans. They're all fibbing and a gentle nudge will do them no harm.

I was in a group like this. Certain Mums would get everyone agreeing to their plans, when I mentioned anything.... silence, or agreeing then backing out on the day with some excuse. It was all very fake tbh.

I left. Feel so much happier too 😊

Are you group admin? Set a screen shot of their agreement to the group pic and delete them from the group.. joking.

There's not an awful lot you can do now. I know its hard to arrange things with people who all have busy lives but there's no excuse really.
Its not hard to put something in a diary or set a reminder somewhere.

If you want to stay in the group and remain friends with these people, I'd maybe send a reminder a few days before a pre-agreed event just to make sure everyone is still on board.

Glad one of them is free. Next time, reminders would be good. Or even contrived messages asking for information or if someone is bringing something etc.

If you’re willing to chase ‘friends’ to get them to stick to a pre agreed plan to spend time with you!

Raise your standards for who you allow into your life, people!

You need better friends, they don’t value seeing you

I have better friends this is not a group I am particularly close to, as I've already stated. We merely have a shared mutual interest with our children. It was something of a support group. Something that I no longer need so it really wouldn't bother me if the friendships completely fizzled out. They are all nice enough people, and I do enjoy their company, but it's not a deep rooted friendship by any means. It's more so our children get to spend time with each other due to their shared mutual circumstances.

OP why did you reply with such a forgiving message to people who didn’t even admit they’d messed up or offer an apology? Just trying to understand your mindset here. Would you usually do that?

Walking, because I'm really not that bothered either way if I see them or not? They are a group of people who I have very little in common with who I see for a couple of hours every few months. I don't want to burn any bridges because it would be very beneficial for my DS to have their children in his life in the future, but the friendship among us mum's is just based on circumstance and nothing else. Does that satiate your need to understand my mindset? If they were real, important friends of mine I would have called them out on it.

It beats me why people can't record somewhere that they've made plans

If only we all had some kind of electronic diary where we could record our plans? Oh wait, we do don't we - smart phones! Sometimes I think the more convenient tools we have the less efficient we become. In the old days, people would have simply written it in their pocket diary. Now it seems to much of an effort to type a reminder into their phone!