I know IABU re baby sleeping...

[nightowlforever]

Love my little one but she likes to help me enjoy every moment by making sure I’m awake 24/7 - she’s nearly three months and wakes every 30/45 mins all night. I work really hard to help her get some naps in the day and these are also 30/45 mins.

I know I’m being totally unreasonable but the thing I struggle with most about it all is when I look for advice and support online a lot of the posts I read are mums saying how exhausted they are because their babies of the same age wake every two or three hours, or sleep through but wake at 4am and arthe difficult to settle, or sleep well at night but only nap for short spells in the day. I thought these things were all normal for a newborn? But then I suppose my newborn is too hence the IABU!

I know everyone is different and these mums are facing their own challenges, have an equal right to support - but honestly any of those scenarios would be an absolute dream to me at the moment! Doing all I can to help my beautiful little girl sleep more.

How can I learn to be more reasonable so I can make the most of great advice online? I must project because although I’m coping, reading how exhausted these other mums are on quite a bit more sleep makes me feel worse somehow..!

If she’s struggling with wind, have a look on YouTube at the “tiger in the tree” hold. It seems to get a lot of wind up

This was my first DC as well
The only way we coped was by splitting shifts. I'd sleep 8-1 and DH slept 1-6. Eventually he started sleeping longer and longer. By the time he was 1, he'd sleep 6hours. It sucked, but it did pass.

Oh you have my sympathy... I lived on 2 hours of broken sleep for months... it's exhausting. Our daughter had undiagnosed silent reflux which is why she was writhing and moaning all night. The doctor said it was colic and she would grow out of it, but equally knew instinctively the crying and lack of sleep was not normal. So if you think there could be something causing it, then don't be afraid to ask for a referral to see a paediatrician. At 4 months I went private as I couldn't watch her suffer and longer and was worried about the effect of such little sleep on her development. Anyway as others have said, make sure you are winding constantly and keeping her upright for at least half an hour after a feed. Also have you tried removing dairy from your diet? It takes a few weeks to have a big impact but lots of babies struggle with dairy in the breast milk. I also ended up removing gluten and caffeine and soya from my diet. It made a difference but in the end it was her medication and moving to neocate and bottle feeding at 6 months which finally helped her to go longer than 2 hours at a time. Finally you could try a probiotic like BioGaia to help settle her tummy.

Oh also we took our daughter to a cranial osteopath... it helped so much with trapped wind!

Another non sleeper here... we are just coming up to a year and slowly he has got better. He wakes every 2hrs or so now. Cosleeping is the way forward. We bought this baby monitor which clips on to the nappy - gives me peace of mind while he’s in our bed :)

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Im sure you’re going to ignore the daft “give formula” suggestion - your baby clearly isn’t hungry!

To that poster - “a big bottle” of formula will probably upset a reflux/colic baby even more due to the change. Not to mention the sore tummy from being stretched. Sounds like TOP parenting, that.

Plus, it will affect mum’s supply as BF frequently (including through the night) is what helps maintain it. And then she’ll be left in the situation where she can’t comfort her upset baby because there isn’t enough milk.

I do wish people would stop telling women/families that FF will solve all their problems. It will just create different ones.

Oh yes that's a good point... I was advised to use the breathing sensor attached to my monitor so that I could allow my daughter to sleep on her front in the cot. Sleeping on their back causes terrible acid reflux and wind, for babies who struggle with this. Our daughter still sleeps on her front now at 12 months old, as it helps sooooo much with her reflux. The first time we did it, she slept 4 hours for the first time ever. I contrast I didn't sleep at all for the first few nights as I was paranoid about her breathing; which is why the alarm is so essential as it wakes them and you up if it goes off and you can see the sensor in the night moving when it's all quiet which eventually gave me peace of mind. It's a personal decision to make and obviously you have to weigh up the benefits and risks. But if you read Alison Scott Wright's book, she has a whole chapter dedicated to reflux and discusses how to put babies to sleep on their front as safely as possible. I actually spoke to her and the advice she gave me was amazing. I still use the motion sensor as i find it so reassuring. But obviously you have to make an informed decision around this for yourself and I understand you may not feel comfortable doing this.

Usually my DS (4months) goes in his cot at bedtime but wakes for a feed and then refuses to go back, so we end up co sleeping for the remainder of the night otherwise I'd get no sleep. Baby on the outside of the bed not in the middle, in his sleeping bag with me tucked tightly in blankets so he doesn't end up under them. That's how we nap during the day too, otherwise he won't go to sleep.