To wonder if I can ever feel normal again

[cattyxxx]

I started with anxiety and panic attacks around the age of 15. I am 35 now so 20 bloody years I have felt like this.
At points in my life it has been so bad I haven't left the house. I have had various medications, counselling cbt etc. The point I am at now is that I can leave the house, I can socialise go on holidays etc. But the bastard thing never leaves me 😤. I spend a lot of nights awake just feeling like I can't breath ! I have tension headaches that are lousy and whenever I am anywhere I just want to be at home in the comfort of my own bed. I am constantly tired and exhausted just from being so constantly anxious !
I have been offered a fantastic job after being sick for the last 5 years (physical illness) and I want to take it. I am sick of being me really of feeling like this. How the heck can I stop it ? Has anyone had any luck with anything ? Have you been able to feel normal after feeling so shit for so long ? I envy people who are calm and chilled out 🙁

Here's some tough love;
I found that feeling sick of feeling anxious was the first real step to recovery.
Take the job. After 2 weeks you wont feel like such a stranger, the routine will take you out of yourself, and it will help.
You can sit at home and feel anxious or you can step out the door and feel anxious. If you take the risk you will actually have the chance of a life. If you dont, you will look back in 20 years and regret wasting it.
Take the job!