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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Social group for happy single childless women?

15 replies

Janediamond · 05/06/2018 22:17

I am in my mid 30s, single and childless by choice. I used to have a lovely group of friends. In my early twenties I had the time of my life with them. In my late twenties we talked about about almoat nothing but weddings, and I mucked in and was a supportive friend- I was a bridesmaid for 3 of them!
But now it’s time for babies and they’ve just gone off radar. I know it’s not personal. I know they’re still my friends deep down and they’ll probably want me back in 16 years. I don’t blame them. I understand. I work with mothers and children in my job, and I get it. But I am sad, because my social life has gone. Nobody rings me up any more to ask me how I am or invite me for a drink or to the cinema. I want to go on holiday but have nobody to go with. They go on midweek ‘mummies’ nights out or daytime coffee dates that leave me out. They don’t invite me because they think I am happy not be a mummy (and they are right) and I don’t want a sympathy invite. But, I am lonely.

I have one other single childless friend, but when I meet her all she does is talk about how she wishes she could find a man and have children too. I still meet up with her, but it is exhausting.

Is there a group of single and/or childless women in their 30s out there who want to socialise? Even an online group? If so who are they and how can I find them? I honestly feel like I must be the only one in the entire world.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 05/06/2018 22:23

There are meet up groups etc. For any kind of interest. Join a community choir or a gym. Go on an activity based holiday . Or go on your own ...

Middleoftheroad · 05/06/2018 22:23

Try looking on 'Meetup' websitw and filtering search to in your area. I've definitely spotted one such group in my area, so hopefully one in yours - or you could set one up?

tentative3 · 05/06/2018 22:36

Where are you Jane? Roughly, obviously!

Pippylou · 05/06/2018 22:40

This happens to married women without kids too. I know people older than me and younger but barely any the same age as they're busy with their kids and mummy friends. I also think it's easier to arrange stuff when the kids mix too...

TheFoodtheFadandtheFugly · 05/06/2018 22:42

I am in this category - and I know what you mean!

Basta · 05/06/2018 22:42

There is a group called Gateway Women. A lot of its members are not happy about being childless, but there are plenty who have come to terms with it and there are a lot of social events all over the country.

Poptart4 · 05/06/2018 22:45

Why don't you ask them out to the cinema or for a drink? Maybe they think you don't want to spend time with them.

IrenetheQuaint · 05/06/2018 22:45

Try a local feminist group - there are some great ones around from hard-core campaigning to light hearted chat!

Or craft (my idea of hell but I have friends who love their all-women craft groups).

dingdongdigeridoo · 05/06/2018 22:47

Join a Ladies Circle or Women’s Institute? It’ll be a mix of women including mums, but they’ll all be in the same boat, looking to meet new people and try new things.

Janediamond · 05/06/2018 22:56

Some good ideas, thanks all Smile
I’m definitely going to look up meetup.
@tentative I’m in the South west.
@poptart I do contact them, and to be fair they are usually up for scheduling in a coffee or for me to go over to visit them for a chat if we plan it in advance. They aren’t being total bitches or anything. But they never initiate any more and I don’t want to be a clingy friend if they have their hands full.

OP posts:
FASH84 · 05/06/2018 22:59

My aunt is happily childless by choice and does a few dance classes in the evenings, she's got loads of friends from there

Absofrigginlootly · 05/06/2018 23:31

There’s an online group called “more to life” if I remember that correctly, I think they do group meet ups

AnduinsGirl · 05/06/2018 23:35

Oooooh- I am DEFINITELY interested in such a group. Sadly I'm the absolute opposite of the country to you, OP. Watching this thread with interest.

tentative3 · 07/06/2018 21:20

Ah, bit far from me then OP, shame. I was previously in a meet up group for childfree women (although there were women with kids in it too) but the membership changed and the group's focus changed and I just slowly drifted away.

Your thread has reminded me to give finding some new friends a go again though.

chestylarue52 · 07/06/2018 21:26

I go out to nights out, chat to people in bars. I found when my friends children got to school age some of them started ringing again wanting to know ‘what was on’ and ‘can we go out’.

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