To worry that my wedding might end up being one big cliche?

[sharkirasharkira]

So, dp and I are getting married spring/early summer, right in wedding season - mainly because it happens to be a very significant date for us!

I have my eye on a very pretty garden venue and I would really like the decorations/invitations etc to reflect that, flowers, butterflies, etc.

I'm really into all the pastel colours, I think they are most fitting for the venue/season/people who will be wearing them.

But I just can't help feeling like it's a little bit 'wedding by numbers' and will be virtually identical to every other spring wedding. I don't care about being unique and different to everyone else and 'standing out' but I just don't want the guests to find it all vomit inducing and boring.

AIbu to worry that everything I like/want for the wedding is very 'overdone' and repetitive. Or should I not care and just go for it anyway?

Agree with other posts....forget the favours etc!

I agree with the pp’s, stick with things you actually like. It should reflect your personality. I would recommend making sure that everything you choose fits with the overall theme you’re going for.

I’ve been to weddings where they’ve tried to be unique and quirky but it came off as a bit forced. One had wooden tealight centrepieces with fake leaves scattered on the table, the venue was a 1900s stately home and they had a casino table and Wii as entertainment. Nothing really went with anything else.

Choose things that you and your other half like/enjoy. It’s easy to get distracted by what you think guests will like but essentially it’s your day and your hard earned cash.

Don’t get too bogged down in the little details. I’ve planned one wedding (mine) and known a lot of very stressed couples planning theirs. It really doesn’t matter and guests really don’t care much about the little details as long as they have a good time.

We prioritised food and music as we felt those were the things that could ruin everyone’s enjoyment if they were bad. Obviously we’d picked a nice setting too and we handmade some place settings etc. But as for a theme and things, I don’t think anyone especially cares.

People come to your wedding, hopefully, because they love you and want to enjoy seeing you make that commitment, and then throw a lovely party. I mean, do you feel like every party you go to is just like all the others, too? Nice food and enough of it, good music, and people you are close to and care about. Nobody except the bride and possibly groom give a stuff what the invitations look like, or the decorations. It's lovely if they have the money for nice flowers and so on, but it's not something I've ever known guests care about. Is the venue nice, warm/cool enough, are there places to sit and relax when you need to, and enough clean loos. After food, drink and music, nothing else really matters.

Calculate how much favours will cost. Then think about how much is thrown away with that money. You could use it to get something you need, and no guest, ever, will give a stuff.

Wedding magazines have so much to answer for. All they care about are their advertisers. They sell a fantasy, and people end up buying into it, at vast financial and sometimes emotional cost.

I can't remember the colour scheme of any weddings I've attended. I do remember which ones had the best food!

Search Pinterest for ideas, and incorporate everything you like. I don't think loved ones would attend a wedding though and look to criticise it. As long as you and your fiancee are happy with it, nothing else really matters.

Just elope, sign a register, have a nice lunch with your two witnesses, save yourselves a fortune and have a big garden party for friends later on, if you feel like it.

Congratulations

I can't remember the colour scheme of any weddings I've attended. I do remember which ones had the best food!

This. Absolutely this.

One couple had a normal wedding cake, and a cheese one as well, with loads of nice breads and grapes and so on on the side. They had that instead of a snack in the evening. It was fab.

Did they have favours? Honestly, I can't remember. Nor the colours, or the flowers. But I do remember the champagne, and the lemon tart for the pudding course. Good coffee, too. And the groom saying he now had the best wife in the world, and sounding like he really meant it.

We don't have a very big budget so I will be DIY-ing as much as possible!

Fortunately the venue I'm thinking of is very open to outside catering etc, so my plan is to have big glass drink dispensers (the Kilner type with the tap), with one of each spirit (rum, whisky, etc) and a selection of mixers, then a big bathtub or something filled with ice and beer/wine and Dp wants barrels of cider. Then people can just help themselves. Hopefully that will be enough for everyone!

I will (probably) be making our cake as Dp is a man of simple tastes so will be an easy, very popular, one to make and I don't really like cake so I don't mind either way We don't want anything super fancy!

Invitations and will be done DIY and printed by a family member as fortunately they work for a professional printing company, DSis is a professional photographer so she will be doing our photos - that is really important to me as we don't want any contrived 'posed' photos, just 'natural' ones, anything taken by her will have that much more meaning to us.

It's not going to be for a while so I'm happy to DIY most things gradually to save times but I just love all the 'standard' spring wedding things! Harry and Meghan's was beautiful and very classic but I loved it.

So you don't think it would look cheap/unfinished to not have favours? I havent been to that many weddings so I'm not 100% on the etiquette and such.

It is very important to me that everyone enjoys it as much as we do, it's going to be fairly small (about 50 or so) so hopefully it'll be like one big party and we'll actually have time to talk to everyone at some point

The thing is, it's close to impossible to have a wedding these days without it being a cliche in some respect. Weddings themselves are cliches.

Even "out there" weddings with a Star Wars theme aren't remotely "out there" any more.

The thing to do is embrace the cliche. Or at least, rename it as "traditional".

It will be unique because it's the first and only time in the history or future of our universe that you and your DP will marry (unless you pull a Taylor & Burton).

Feed the guests well, get them tanked up, don't make them stand around forever while you get your pics taken and everyone will be happy.

I think your wedding sounds absolutely ideal. Not stuffy, not pretentious, lovely and thought through drinks idea, and cake that will be fresh, and not have sat around for days while being iced.

Homemade cake is almost always nicer than most bought ones, anyway. It costs a lot of money to make a really delicious cake, commercially. If you plan to stack it, take a look on Youtube on how, and chill it in advance if using buttercream, so it won't splodge when you do so?

Honestly, I'd much, much rather a wedding like yours than the very formal ones in hotels. It sounds really lovely.

And if there is a person alive who cares about favours, I've not met them.

The Christmas analogy is spot on!

I'm planning our wedding too currently and can assure you I've second guessed EVERYTHING. What will MIL think, what will the guests think, what will the venue think of my proposals and ideas, do I even want this or that.... ugh. If you like it, go for it. Hell I saw a Disney themed wedding the other day, I mean full on theme. I'm sure loads would turn their nose up but they did it and they loved it and it was so them. Don't be afraid, and definitely don't let other people drag your likes or ideas down!

No one cares about decor, dresses, colour schemes, flowers, invitations, favours or chair covers.

They might care about the venue, if it's particularly unusual or quirky, they might remember that.

They definitely care if the ceremony is personal to you, if they're adequately fed and watered and there's not too much standing around.

That made me laugh perfectstorm

Yeah its true, I suppose the average person isn't going to notice or care much about the finer details like favours!

I do think as a PP said, the wedding industry has a lot to answer for, just trying to find somewhere to have the bloody wedding that isn't £999 per head for a 4 course formal sit down meal with wine and canapés is proving somewhat problematic.

Dp has anxiety so hates a lot of fuss and attention. We just want something simple and uncomplicated albeit with me in a beautiful dress. Dp just wants a hog roast, hay bales as seating and an awesome DJ which I'm totally ok with but even a bare field with a marquee in it is ££££ in our area, it's ridiculous!

The only wedding reception i actually remember was for an 11 o clock wedding we got fed at 4pm. Everyone remembers that one.

Favours a complete waste of time and money. EXCEPT bubbles at kids seats.

@sharkirasharkira have you any "party barns" in your area? We have a great local farm who hire out their barn for events fairly cheap, looks magical with fairy lights, a bar and a DJ in

What I remember from a wedding:-
The food
The drink
The brides dress
The centre piece
The music
Anything unique for a wedding.
Laughter
Fun
Friends
New friends

What I don't remember:-
Colour schemes
Bridesmaid dresses
Flowers
Speeches
Favours (I've left a few behind)
Invitations
Button holes
Seating plans
Wedding cakes

I wouldn't worry at all about being cliché. Most people love a traditional wedding, and seeing you getting married, not anyone else - you!! - will make this wedding unique. Have whatever colours or food you like and have a wonderful day.

Passive, I will 100% be having some kind of bubbles. It's impossible not to be cheerful and happy when there's bubbles around!

That sounds exactly what we want! I'll have to do some more research sirmionie but I think everywhere I've looked in the area that has a barn or similar is at least a 4 figure sum They're big business in this area! Plus everywhere wants you to hire out the whole farm for the whole weekend and use their caterers, etc etc. It adds up very quickly.

The important things for me are:

My dress (which I already have)
One location for everything (ie ceremony & reception) - all my guests are travelling from elsewhere in the UK and I feel it's unfair to make them drive around from venue to venue on the day as well.
Somewhere that allows outside catering so we can DIY as much as possible.
Plenty of food & drink.
Good music & dancefloor.

Everything else is optional really!

Cliches exist for a reason. Most weddings follow a similar format; unless you are both planning on abseiling naked from a helicopter into a giant jelly.

Don't worry about what everyone else will think. Just get it how you want it. Don't spend too much certainly not more than you can comfortably afford and make sure you have time on the day to enjoy it.
Nobody will remember all of the details. They are for you to enjoy and remember. I remember a friend was distraught that I had no recollection of her wedding favours. She'd spent weeks planning them and having them made apparently.

I think your wedding will be lovely. It sounds like you’re being very sensible over the cost and scale. Good luck 😘

Re favours, I did a few lindor chocs in a little bag and there were none left at the end.

Yeah, we did little bags of sweets too. It was cheap and easy.