AIBU to call 111 about my baby DD again?

[filou87]

My daughter is nearly 5 months old. A short while ago I washed her hands using a natural hand wash and cold water. I put the soap on her hands and rinsed with cold water while I held her hand, but she put her fingers in her mouth while it still had soap suds on it. I read the ingredients, it actually contains two essential oils, verbena fruit oil and lemon oil. She is her usual self but I am worried. I washed her hands because my dad held her hand and he is a smoker.

I want to call 111 to check for peace of mind. However I am discouraged from doing so because I have found them twice in the last two weeks and they said that if I called again it would flag me up to Social Services. I am a teacher so well aware that they have a duty of care to my daughter but she is extremely well looked after and loved.

Am I being over cautious or should I call 111? So as not to drip feed, I do have PTSD from her very traumatic birth and she was in SCBU. I also have some health anxiety (this began in pregnancy) about my daughter's safety. I don't want to get a visit from SS!

The other times I called 111 were:

1. I gave my daughter a brand new toilet roll to play with while she sat in her bouncer chair. I was cleaning my teeth but watching her. It was only after I took the toilet roll away that I realised she had sucked on it and some had come off. 111 said it was not a not an issue.

1. DD was in her about the chair again while I was cleaning my teeth, this time I gave her a baby board book and when I removed it she had sucked to the corner and a bit of the shiny paper had come off. I was watching her and so she had the book by her mouth but I didnt realise she could actually do that with her gums. She's teething at the moment.

I spoke to my mum and she thinks I am over cautious and that the essential oil concentration will be very low.

Thanks if you read this far.

Repeating what others have said, I wouldn't think to phone nhs direct for any of those three incidents. I doubt they'd even register tbh.

I know you've said your seeing someone regarding the birth trauma but I'd also consider making a GP appointment to discuss your anxiety. As someone else who suffers from anxiety, there is some good support out there. I found PANDAS foundation to be very good when I was struggling with my mental health after having my kids (anxiety and depression).

Glad you're getting help OP. Are you discussing these incidents with your therapist? I hope the therapy starts working soon! Stick at it.
All of these things are normal and not dangerous.

As others have said she'll be fine. I think you should make use of your health visitor for support with your anxiety and also they're pretty good when you have a pfb worry. Maybe a Facebook group of mums would be good for you to join so you can send a quick message when you want to ring 111 and see what they think?

It’s all really scary with the first one but honestly she will be fine. Wait until you have a second, that one will be drinking the hand soap and you won’t bat an eyelid.... in all seriousness, she will be fine. Mention this to your counsellor.

Your DD is just as likely to swallow a little bit of soap suds in the bath, but presumably you bath her & will continue to do so. Children do put all manner of things in their mouths, mostly they are completely harmless. Many will contribute towards building an active immune system - modern thinking is that overuse of detergents & antibacterial agents can lead to an increase in allergies & that children's natural immunity simply isn't challenged enough from an early age. My DD licked a plastic sign outside a shop, aged 3, as it had a picture of food on it. I know a child who licked the wall of a public toilet, as a toddler. Both suffered no ill effects at all.

You do sound anxious - I hope your birth trauma counsellor is able to help you overcome your worries. I had a rotten birth with DD & struggled for quite a while, too. Take it easy on yourself, I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job as a mum.

No need to call them OP, she will be absolutely fine, it's only like her getting bath water with bubbles in her mouth. A few days ago I caught 9mo DD eating a leaflet I hadnt realised i'd dropped, she took a big chunk out of it as well. Seems to have given her a taste for it, she keeps eyeing up the post now.

Definitely go back to the gp. There are charities and sometimes nhs services that can help with postnatal anxiety and depression. In the kindest possible way, calling 111 for those reasons is not an appropriate/usual response.

I was just like this when dd was born. I'm also a teacher and have health anxiety.
It does get better. She's 13 months now and I'm much more relaxed about everything. First aid course definitely helped, and now she understands a lot more, I try to be more laid back, because I don't want her picking up on my anxiety.
Enjoy being a mum.

I think that they may have talked about social services to maybe offer support to you. If you're calling for things that are deemed unnecessary and you come across overly anxious they probably think you need some help.

You really don't need to call. My son is 1 and eats everything off the floor. God knows what he's eaten. He also likes to try and eat pebbles.

Echoing what everyone else has said. I'm glad you are getting help.

I know MN is not here to replace medical advice, but you've posted tonight and had everyone tell you it's ok. It's saved you calling 111, and has hopefully calmed you down and provided reassurance.

How about in future if something happens (like the chewing on books etc) and you are worried, how about you post, and mum's can give advice. You can guarantee at least one mum will have been through the same. Obviously I'm not saying this in the event of something serious (although you can of course), but just when you are unsure and need reassurance.

We've all been there. By baby number two, you find they are eating everything, you do a quick risk assessment- is it harmful?, and let them get on with it!

Perhaps use this thread over the next few weeks OP to ask about anything you are anxious about, to see if getting reassurance from other parents helps at all?

I agree with the other posters I'm afraid, the things your baby is going to eat over the next few months is only going to get more disgusting so you are going to have to try and get on top of the anxiety as the things you have mentioned so far are very tame

She will be fine, the other incidents were non events. Im glad you are getting support. I’m sorry you have had such a rough time.

I don’t think you need to but I’m very much like you. 111 never works from my phone so always have to phone nhs direct wales.
I’ve called them loads of times about my daughter and I’ve also had to take her to a&e 4 times in the last 18 months as she’s so bloody accident prone.

I do worry at what point they’ll ring ss but I know I’m just being cautious and doing what I feel is best for my dd.

I’ve never done anything wrong, I’ve nothing to hide, I have 2 very happy, bright and healthy children.

I suggest you stop brushing your teeth

No they'll be fine. Dd2 had a liking for paper and was crawling by 6 months. She ate paper by the half page if she got hold of it.

A friend of mine's toddler son managed to get hold of an open bottle of calpol and downed most of it.

She rushed him to A&E. Took an hour so by the time he got seen. They looked at him (bouncing around on the trolly) felt his head, took his pulse and told her he was fine and she shouldn't worry much. She'd been beside herself with panic!

OP - You already know you tend towards over reacting. I'm surprised 111 have 'threatened' you with sending SS over if you ring again though. When dealing with someone with anxiety who is doing their best to care for another person it's not good to be making threats about not ringing for any more medical support! How would any of us feel with that over our heads?!

Definitely don't call them again and do please get help with your anxiety

When my DD was tiny, we went to visit my cousin whose son was by then much older. DD dropped her dummy onto the floor and they have a dog (who wasn't even in the room). My cousin smiled and said 'will I run it under the tap or are you still at the stage where you feel you need to sterilise it?'....I was HORRIFIED that she would even consider only running it under the tap but of course now I look back at myself and chuckle.
The point I am making is that you are being very over cautious and you too will probably look back and chuckle at yourself. Your baby will be fine.

Hi lass, yeah full support here and sounds like Bubbles (new nickname for baby) will be fine.

The best way is to minimize the risks within the house with obvious high placement and locks etc. Your doing amazing especially with with such a complex condition as PTSD (Husband has same so I am aware of the struggle).

Good luck and don't be afraid to ask and 111 should have not threatened SS on you.

I think this is your anxiety coming out. My kids have done similar things in their toddler years and it never even crossed my mind to call 111. Save your concern for cleaning products (lock them out of reach) and choking hazards.

Hi OP. I certainly wouldn't call 111 for any of the reasons you mentioned, but I understand that you're suffering at the moment. I second what @TheCumbrian said; maybe use this thread to voice your concerns in the coming weeks and that will give you some idea of when would be a "normal" time to be that concerned.
I hope your counselling is helping you 🌼

I’m another one who’s a bit taken aback at the social services comment and can only think that they actually meant for someone to come and help YOU! If SS were sent out every time a baby chewed a bit of paper, well, they’d do nothing else!

Having a new baby can be really rough on so many levels and it’s great to see that you’ve already got some processes in place to help you with the additional health issues it’s caused you. I had mild PTSD after DC1 and it was really rotten, so I can empathise a little. I also think that the natural tendency to be extremely protective of one’s baby can go a bit haywire in some of us and cause us lots of misery. I benefited hugely from regular chats with a close friend who was not affected by PTSD/crazy hormones and could tell me honestly that DC1 was thriving, in addition to advice from my mother who told me not to worry! So bouncing ideas off your own mother and/or people here can be great. Obviously, as a PP said, nobody can give you medical advice, but questions like “My baby licked the carpet/ate some paper, should I worry” are things that can very easily be answered online

Aaargh wall of text, so sorry! 🤦‍♀️

To be fair to 111 - and I say this with all kindness OP - we don't know how they termed the SS flagging. When you're wracked with anxiety or in a distressed place - the way in which you hear/interpret something can differ from the givers intent. So they may have said "we could get SS to visit you to see if they can assist" but the OP may have heard "we're going to report you to SS"

I know I'm assuming as much as anyone in this situation but I know from my own health anxiety when consulting Dr Google, I "filter" out the symptoms that don't fit my internal dialogue and focus in on those that do.

To the point now that when I'm having a moment of HA and I can't resist googling I force myself to read each symptom out loud and say yes or no... inevitably that gives a much more realist spin on it.

But as I say I could be assuming and no offence meant at all OP

Oh I have a photo somewhere of baby DC2 (aged maybe 7 to 9 months?) with dirt all around her mouth after snacking from a pot plant. I felt stupid but she was fine!

another vote for She Will Be Fine.
When i had dd1 i remember screaming like a crazy person at my dp and mum because they were standing having a chat by the door and it was open. I was convinced she was going to freeze to death because of it.
It was August.
August 2003
When we had a country wide heatwave and the temperatures were close to 30 degrees for a week.

I hope your counselling helps you xx