To ask for tips for a first-time manager

[LottaLou]

Hi all, I just started a new job and for the first time I will be responsible for managing people. I am starting with a bang - 5 people will report to me! From 0 to 5

I am very excited but also a bit scared, as I have no experience in people's management and I really want to do a good job.

Can you please share your tips and experiences about what makes a good manager? Or things to avoid? What would you suggest? Any suggestion is welcome!

Many thanks!

I'm basically describing everything my current manager did wrong, and this is probably obvious but also don't keep telling them how much more you earn.

You must, must, must be able to have the hard conversations. You need to be able to tell people that their performance is not good enough, that their behaviour is unacceptable, that they won't get promoted until they can do X better. People will not enjoy these conversations, and you won't either, but without them you have zero credibility and will have zero ability to manage and raise performance.

I too deal with the impact of bad management daily and IMO inability to have difficult conversations is one of the worst failings a manager can have.

Such amazing advice! This is why I love Mumsnet, there is so much valuable wisdom on this forum!!

I too deal with the impact of bad management daily and IMO inability to have difficult conversations is one of the worst failings a manager can have.

Absolutely agree.

Say thank you.
Recognise effort. Not just that of the ones that shout about it to you.

All good advice here but I suspect it will be hard to absorb and apply it all before you start. Some things you just need to work out as you go along.

Make a note to return to this thread in a month or two, reread the advice and let us know how you're getting on.

What do I like when people manage me?

When they tell me why something is happening. When they suggest constructive changes. (I’m not saying criticism here, because in my role everything can always be done better, and everyone is always flat out, so criticism just gets everyone’s backs up, constructive or not.) When they treat work as a collaborative effort and listen to what you say - e.g. I think if we changed x we would still achieve y but save time/effort gets a “ahh, good idea can we check if that will impact z?” Or a “hmm, I don’t think that would work because of a, but could we look at b as an option.” Instead of “no, that’s wrong.”

@QueenAravisOfArchenland yes, and I found it useful to nip things quickly in the bud so you don't get to the stage of dragging them in for a Big Chat eg just look at your watch when they're ten minutes late for lunch - they should get the hint. Or just say when you notice a problem with their work 'you've made a mistake here - this should be like this.' Calmly and non judgmental because everyone makes mistakes. No need for big dramas when you address little things while they are little. (Just to say not all managers like this approach and it I wouldn't attempt it straight away or ever in a team where there is no goodwill towards you at all.)

Be approachable but remember you aren't their friend...unfortunayely you can't be

If you are going to say no to someone say it at the beginning don't drag it out and use the broken record technique using a polite phrase

It's ok to make mistakes and admit you don't know but don't allow someone to take advantage

Have a thick skin and remember it's the position they react to not you personally

Know some of the important stuff about their life and remember they are people

It's absolutely ok to say " I'll get back to you on that" just ensure that you do remember to go back to them....allowong yourself 5 minute (or whatever is appropriate) thinking space is sensible

Try very hard not to bigger about with pay and time off

Trust your instincts and judgement you got the position for a reason you may get a brilliant team but eventually one day there will be a pain in the ass...trust yourself

The one minute manager books are great.
Start with a one-to-one with everyone- what they do, what their issues and frustrations are, how they see their role. Understand what motivates them. Don't promise anything at this stage.
Praise people publicly. If you have to tell them off do it privately but firmly and don't accept excuses. Make your high expectations clear.
Find yourself a mentor- someone you trust who you can use as a sounding board. This might be your line manager.
Delegate and don't do things your team members should be doing. On the other hand muck in when necessary.

Accept that they will talk about you behind your back and it won't always be nice

Set boundaries i.e if you don't want them phoning you at 6am when they are sick, tell them up front!

Regular 1:1s with each of them - different people will want them at different frequencies but get them in the diary

Try and be fair and consistent - it will get noted when you don't

Have a difficult conversation in private, as soon as you can and give specific examples

Take accountability for things I.e difficult messages come from you, 'I need to talk to you about....' not 'my manager says I need to talk to you about...'

Read and understand the policies, and if in doubt talk to HR - they can guide you and it's MUCH better to bring them in early

Congratulations!

What type of work are you in? (Sorry if I've missed it). Will you be expected to be hands on or are you in more of a supervisory role? If hands on, don't forget to schedule time away from your tasks to oversee your team.

If you treat your team fairly and respectfully they will afford you the same. Be friendly with them but remember they are not your friends. You can't be seen to be showing favour to some over others.

If you don't know something or aren't sure how to best carry out a task, find out, don't wing it.

Don't be afraid to ask the team that you're managing for advice. A good manager uses the strengths of their team and recognises that they may have experience or knowledge in areas that they themselves don't. It's your job to recognise and utilise these skills.

Delegate! Don't take everything on yourself. Even if you think it might be quicker to do so at the time. It'll make things harder in the long-run.

Toe the company line and follow procedure. Don't say "well, I don't like it either but H/O say so, so..."

Recognise and show appreciation for good work and effort. People who feel appreciated are loyal, more productive and will willingly pick up the slack to cover holidays and sickness.

Give/offer training where possible and pass on information you receive from head office relevant to their roles.

So here's what I did.

First, write a list of all the things shit managers have ever done to you. I had:

*tell you off in front of the team
*badger me for shit they asked for 5 minutes ago
*not treating me like a real person
*sharing confidential information with other team members
*not telling me directly when I've done something wrong

Then write out this list as "All the things I won't do as a manager" and stick to it.

I've had three teams since I wrote that list, all happy and successful. I'd recommend it highly.

One of my team today told me they were going to leave before I arrived as they were being massively micro-managed and they've said now they've been offered two jobs elsewhere but they want to stay. No biggger compliment as far as I'm concerned.

Also, after 6 months ask for feedback as to what you should start, stop and continue doing. Say thank you for the feedback and take it on, even if you want to disagree. Good luck!

Sympathise with your staff - they're the poor bastards producing what you deliver.

Sympathise more with the accounts - they're what keep the show on the road.

Never, ever gossip. Toxic workplaces start at the top.

If you screw up, relax, and admit it at once. Sign of strength, that is.

Oh, and also, on the leading by example thing - if you have a work/life balance, they are more likely to feel they can have the same. Not possible in all jobs I know! But having a manager who left on time every day, while still getting the job done, was a bit of a revelation to me - it was actually really inspiring to just see that this was a valid way of working.

OpenLearn has free courses if you are interested. Go here: www.open.edu/openlearn/free-courses/full-catalogue and then go to Money and Business. Then you will see the courses Managing and Managing people courses

Remain outwardly positive, regardless of how annoyed, frustrated or whatever you are

People will watch what you do and how you work more than they will listen to you

Think about good managers you have had- what characteristics of them did you like? Retain those. Bad managers- what characteristics of them did you dislike? Avoid showing those

Consistency is key. Don't go in to "pally" because it will look disingenuous later if you have to clamp down on anything.
Recommend setting aside 30 minutes a week (by phone is fine) with each member of staff to allow time to "catch up" on how things are going, let them air any issues and feel heard. Also a good opportunity for you to nip in the bud any behaviours that you're concerned about in a fairly informal setting.
Another tip would be: if you find you're having to tell the same person the same thing over and over- make sure you're doing it via email so you have an audit trail that demonstrates you've reminded them about it repeatedly - just in case it gets to the point where you need to escalate it.

Trying to thing of examaples I've experienced. Try to keep a record of 1-1/ team meetings -it's very frustrating as an employee to have your manager forget conversations. Clearly identify who and how you want to take actions forward - my boss uses 'we' endlessly . Have their back as much as possible and if something needs to be escalated listen to them and take it forward/advise as appropriate. Don't talk too much about your personal life - they're not your mates but do take time to always say morning, thank you, have a nice weekend etc. Don't flap/huff and puff about things (big or small) - your reaction will make such a difference to how your team feel when things aren't going to plan. Look up the stages of team formation. Don't slag off fellow managers or anybody for that matter - it's so unprofessional and shows a lack of respect and they won't trust you. Same applies to discussing customers/equiv in such a manner - they will think it's a thing they can do. Think about office ettiquette you're ok/not ok with and lead by example i.e. if you're going to make personal calls, eat at your desk etc then everyone else should be able to - same applies to breaks etc.

All about respect- if you get respect from them and return it, unfavourable decisions will be received much better. You don't need to be their friends but you do need to have a mutually respectful relationship. I found honesty the key to that.

Some very good advice here.

I would reiterate what has already been said in get to know your team, and find out what different experience they have. Use their knowledge when making changes or improvements, and let them know you are open to sensible suggestions on how systems can be improved.

Don't pretend an idea was your idea if it wasn't. Give your team the credit.

Praise in public, bollock in private.

95% of management is good communication- and communication is a two way street.

Never promise something you can't deliver.

Don't be a dictator, but don't be soft touch either- this is probably the hardest aspect of management to master (at least it was for me).

Get a clear list of goals from your manager, and set clear and reachable targets for your team.

Although always realise that your limits as a good manager are 100% dependant upon the competence of your immediate superior.

Place marking

Google Management styles. Way to much for me to write here. It's not always precise but it can give you an idea of what sort of manager you are.